Topic: Thread for general complaints about the Nintendo Online service and well deserved Wii U praising

Ten years from now in the year of 2028 Nintendo is on the brink of bankruptcy from making poor decisions. I'm at home barricading the doors and windows. I refuse to cooperate. Every time I check my mail I see a new message from Nintendo in my spam box. It states ''Please subscribe to our new online service version 3.02.08.09, now with extra virtual boy games every month''

I hear knocking on the door. It must be the Nintendo inquisition laywers... Nintendo has failed to make their online a succes. They had no clue why the monthly virtual games didn't attract more subscribers. But they came with a solution, to destroy all existing consoles that run virtual games!

My front door succumbs, my barricades were no match to their fully operational Fils-A-Mech. They begin to mess up my room, which honestly was already messy before they started turning tables. I thought by myself the turning tables seemed a bit overly dramatic. They closed in on my brilliant hiding place but they walked straight past it. Unfortunately the Fils-A-Mech was equipped with a console finding sensor ray and detected my secret stash straight through my bed.

They found them... my DS, cube, wii, even my good ol' virtual boy. They began to laugh maniacally while smashing my consoles with a classic home-run bat. I didn't think they would find my NES mini hiding in my violin but even that poor thing became victim of their destructive raid. Finally they're leaving... as the final laywer walks through the door he says ''Please understand'' and I'm sitting there, left with nothing but my Switch U.

Defeated I turn on my Switch U and subscribe to the online service. After playing Fortnite 2 Ultimate for a while I decide to get drunk and make the game a bit more bearable. As I stand up I trip over some cables. The cables that connect my Switch U to my ''Niphone'' that allows me to control. Man, do I miss those sweet buttons. I stand up but moments later I'm falling again, this time I tripped over the cable that connects my Switch U to my old Switch which in turn connects to my Niphone that allows voice chat (billed per minute)

I'm so done. With disgust I pick up my Niphone and call my bud.
''Hey, remember when you said I know a guy with stuff?''
''yeah bro, I got the stuff, come on over''

I get in my kart and drive to my friends house. He shows me to his underground gaming lair... and there it is in all its glory. The oh-so-capable machine, is there something it can't run? something it can't play? Hell yes, but it's still much more backwards compatible than the Switch. Ladies and gentleman, it's the Wii U! PRAISE IT! PRAISE THY WII U!!!!!!!!

Please send help from the past

We have a thread about the nintendo online service, you're free to join there and complain all you want.