Topic: Love Advice

Is it cheating if....your girlfriend has coffee one on one with another guy? or if she invites another guy to go to a party with her, without asking you first?

Oh but I saw this was an off topic section wasn't it?

@Rjay - If she's YOUR girlfriend why's she taking another guy to a party? That would bother me. Unless there's something about this that I'm missing.

The best advice is that you can't overreact. And that apologizing is admitting you did something.

That's what I argued with her about endlessly....well another thing, she doesn't want to tell anyone about us. Not even her roommates have known we've dated. Her dad knows, but he lives 4 hours away. I feel like maybe she's not telling anyone, because she wants to be open to other guys, even though she has told me she's my girlfriend.

@Rjay
Just tell her that if the relationship is non existent to anybody then your not really with her at all. If she cares, she will agree and change.

Any girl that doesn't want anyone to know you're dating isn't worth your time. End of story. Cut her loose.

@Rjay -Yea that's not right. Something doesn't sound right about that. I wonder what the REAL reason is that she's not telling anyone. It could be some other reason why she's not telling anyone. Maybe she doesn't think they'll approve? Maybe she's embarassed, for lack of a better word?(I'm not to be insulting to you, of course, but people can be that way. Just trying to get you to think of other possibilitys, so that you don't jump to a conclusion).

They're right about that. An unknown relationship can screw up. It happens all the time so it is not worth it. Besides alot of them ends towards fighting.

At the very least you need to sit her down and find out why it is that she doesn't want people to know you're dating.

Well....I am kind of nerdy and awkward compared to her social circle. Yeah that's what I was thinking...that she might be ashamed, but doesn't want to lose all the nice things I do for her either.

if that's what you're thinking, then why aren't you acting on it? it seems she may be taking you for a ride, my friend. if you're really wanting to salvage what you think you have with her, sit her down and talk it out, but if you're really arguing that much with her anyway, it may not be worth it.

People that care about you won't use you. At least not until after you're married. Then all bets are off!

You're going to have to do something. If not she'll walk all over you. Tell her what you need to know. What are her intentions? How long is she willing to keep it secret?

Yea. Well maybe you two should try to discuss it calmly. Try not to yell at each other. She's more likely to listen to you if you're not flipping out. Let know how this makes you feel. Be aware of her feelings to. Ask questions about things you want to know, but do it nicely (You don't have to be a pushover though). Try to use your common sense as your guide. She SHOULD care about your feelings if she's worth being with.
communication is very important in a relationship. Also your feelings are just as important as hers. So don't fall into the trap of thinking otherwise.

I have no idea how this relationship will work out for you. I hope it turns out well, but you never know.

I agree with longtimegamer.

that's what pre-nups were invented for, my friend

Yeah, too bad my wife wasn't smart enough to ask for one.

Every couple has different standards for what is acceptable in terms of socializing with the opposite sex. I think that the best thing you can do is have an honest, civil conversation with your girlfriend. Tell her what you think is appropriate and what makes you feel uncomfortable. Then let her tell you the same. Hopefully you can come to an agreement...if not, it might be time to move on.

If you would you like to take another girl out for coffee or to a party at some point without asking your girlfriend then you have to concede that it's not an issue. If the thought of yourself taking out a female friend never crossed your mind, you may want to address whether you both understand what your relationship is about and how serious it is. Without further information I'm not sure what to tell you, I mean we don't even know if this 'other' guy is straight or not.