Random: Artist Imagines Social Media Posts If Pokémon Were Real

Bidoof person is just humble bragging their new shiny

0/10, No sleeping Snorlax or rowlet pics.

Now hear me out…. A Pokémon Farming Sim…. You can hire/catch Pokémon to help ya farm; you can breed Pokémon….

Now create the Twitter replies where they pick apart every post and revel in only highlighting the negative aspects of anything and everything because Twitter is the man-made cesspit of the soul.

If Pokémon were real most of these posts would be grieving parents telling the story of how their kid was carried away and eaten by a balloon that turns them into ghosts, got crushed to death by a teddy bear, were melted and eaten by a snail, were killed by a sadistic pumpkin that was signing joyfully at their suffering, brutally stalked and killed by a doll they once put in the trash or eaten and buried by a sand castle.

Others would be terrified people saying things like "My nose inches every night and every morning my mind is overwhelmed by emptiness, please god just let me die" or "I'm saying goodbye to everyone because a Xatu roosted on my lawn, heralding my horrible demise" or "My wife died and became a Gengar, she's already killed our children and it's only a mater of time before she finds me. Remember me!"

Although to be honest, it's unlikely we would even have the internet. Between Espurrs randomly blowing up power stations, power and internet lines, and server farms, Camerupt forcing us to deal with moving volcanos, a mad Gyarados going all kaiju and destroying a city every few months, Hoopa teleporting any technology or buildings it finds interesting to it's "secret place", the occasional Volcanion reducing a mountain to dust, or Trubbish making it so that if we do not quickly move all our garbage and waste out of populated areas everyone will sleep until they die, humans would still be living in caves, trying to scape together a few movements of peace in a life of pure terror.

The only real hope is that the Alakazams got together and decided to be our overlords, using their 5000 IQ to keep us safe while they feast on our thoughts.

But I mean ... these are some freaking incredible pictures at least!

@moodycat Gardevoir influencers...dear god.

Mr. Mime?! GET BACK TO WORK.

I think sometimes I have a cat Pokemon he's like Meowth the scratch cat Pokemon for obvious reasons but at least he licks you afterwards...

Twenty-three years and they haven't figured out that their Girafarig is male, not female?

(On males the color division is between the fourth and fifth spot. On females it's farther back, between the fifth and sixth.)

@PokemonDMG I had a boyfriend like that once.

This is a joke. Just in case 😂

@HeadPirate There's so many assumptions that I dunno where to stare with this.

@HeadPirate @RubyCarbuncle

Reminder to get Pokedex 3D Pro and take IRL pics of pokemon

Considering most Pokemon are lethal, smarter than humans and have reality warping powers, I feel like there is a opposite poke Twitter run by mons that have subdued/killed/enslaved their trainers. And there should be a lot more death notices and missing child posts. Great world to run a funeral home in though.

@Dm9982 Cool, we can call it "Harvest 'Mon"!

In the "Like 'Harvest moon', get it?"-sense, not the "Tauros steak for dinner"-sense, that is.

If they were real, the whole PETA point against making them fight would -hopefully- be common sense. Now, sure, it makes not too much sense. What also makes no sense is that people eating animals in real life are horrified by the idea of eating pokemon. If they were real, you better believe humans would be hunting them for 'fun' and breeding and slaughtering and eating them.

Also, that's not how the joints in the rear legs of a giraffe work... Just like us and most animals, their (rear) legs have a forward knee and a backward heel. Most just don't walk on their heels, which gives them more power and less impact on their joints with every step. Also more grip and feel with slippery surfaces. I tried that, and while it takes some time to adjust, it really works. When it's not winter and I live barefooted, I often walk like that and it feels great. Note that your legs may grow very muscular that way.

Got kind of sidetracked but those were my first thoughts when seeing the title and the image.

Here's an image of a wild pokemon that walked into my forest home to be nursed back to full health before being released again, just to brighten your day:

edit: sadly the image link doesn't seem to work, it is a hedgehog sitting on my hand.