You have 30 seconds to pitch your idea for a game that is destined to be a critical, commercial and conceptual disaster.
I’ll start.
Open-world Tetris, set 5000 years in the future on a colonised Jupiter populated by ‘mudgoblins’ and ‘cyberelves’ who are locked in an eternal battle for the planet’s resources. The colony is powered by a cryptocurrency-cum-energy source called Tetri€oin, which is mined by playing Tetris against NPCs and other players online.
Currency earned in-game can be traded for NFT trading cards depicting the mudgoblins and cyberelves cosplaying as historical figures such as former US presidents, Sanrio characters, the cast of Harry Potter and… whatever other IPs are available. It’s basically going to be the Fortnite of Tetris, but with fewer guns and more Tetris.
…That was originally just going to be “Open-world Tetris”, but I got carried away…
Anyway, your turn! Let’s enjoy coming up with ideas for awful video games!
A superhero game but you play as a civilian and you play normal life nothing else and it plays just like real life and after a few hours U get crushed by collateral damage and that's the while game and you can't replay
Super Mario 3D. A game where you walk down a narrow God of War loading corridor as Mario for 24 hours straight. There are no cutscenes and no combat, just Mario squeezing through a crack within the wall. You do not get access to saving, and must beat the game within 24 actual real world hours. Once beaten, the game permanently bricks your switch console, with it showing a Picture of Miyamoto flipping the bird every time you boot up the system.
"It is fate. Many have tried, yet none have ever managed to escape it's flow."
@Rambler Not sure if this involves looking after 99 Nintendogs simultaneously or is a version of Nintendogs released with Windows 99. Either would fit the bill of being spectacularly bad.
@Rambler Not sure if this involves looking after 99 Nintendogs simultaneously or is a version of Nintendogs released with Windows 99. Either would fit the bill of being spectacularly bad.
Sounds like it's supposed to be online multiplayer like Tetris 99. 99 players competing real time in Nintendogs.
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Cheese. DK becomes curious about what cheese from different creatures would taste like, so he heads off into the jungle to find out. The gameplay loop starts with a platforming section where you approach enemies and milk them, then back at DK's hut you control the entire cheesemaking process with painstaking accuracy, like Cooking Mama with extra rennet. You're then rewarded with a lengthy dinner table scene where the Kongs sample Donkey's cheeses and give their thoughts on the taste and texture.
@Dogorilla I literally laughed out loud. And then vomited (figuratively). C’mon Nintendo where is DK: Tropical Cheese? Why do you hate money? (And fermented goods?)
@Rambler Not sure if this involves looking after 99 Nintendogs simultaneously or is a version of Nintendogs released with Windows 99. Either would fit the bill of being spectacularly bad.
Sounds like it's supposed to be online multiplayer like Tetris 99. 99 players competing real time in Nintendogs.
Considering that Windows 99 doesn't exist and Tetris 99 and Pac-Man 99 do... ;-p
Basically a massive dog fight using the DS stylus.
Ok. Ok. So you see. What we're gonna do is sell cardboard to kids for £70.
Cardboard?
Yes. Just cardboard. And we'll get the parents to buy it by saying it improves "creative skills" or something like that.
... You're a genius!
Your first anything is important; a memory you don't want to forget. That's what makes nostalgia such a fascinating concept. That's why many people enjoy games that have aged well.
Jefferry Dahmer the game. The ultimate culmination of our weird obsession with monsters. You get to play as Jeffery Dahmer relive his life and reenact his crimes. Even if the game was good no one would want to play it it would feel too gross
Letters: So, basically, what about a Toys-to-life game like Skylanders, although it doesn't necessarily have to have figures. There are playable letters who have special abilities, or at least some of them do. We could meme on the letter H and have it be able to teleport to something that is shaped like the letter H and move to that spot ~ kind of inspired by the H subreddit. There's T who could glide with the the cross of the T in a way kind of like how Rayman has his helicopter hair. O could roll around. etc.
Behold the Battle Pass Simulator! Have fun earning all these 100 tier battle passes which you have to buy at $30 each for the premium tier. There's no gameplay as such, just indulge yourself in completing the battle pass for these super awesome cosmetics just by watching your premade character do nothing.
The next fighter to be added to Smash Bros should be someone familiar to Nintendo players and talked about in the zeitgeist already rather than a deep cut character so clearly it can only be one fighter I’m thinking of, Season Pass! Season Pass is already DLC players are wiling to pay for so adding this hugely popular character to Smash is a win-win.
You play as 1 mario out of your 128 identical copys as you take care of them like defenseless babies in the Mushroom kingdom. Most times they won't listen to you as they unique and creative ways to die. Each day in the game is a real world day, with the console making a baby mario crying sound if they need help when off.
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