Topic: Short Story - Need feedback.

I started writing this short story; and the overall idea is that it's an explorer visiting OoTs' Spirit Temple, and making notes in his notebook.

I would really appreciate any feedback/criticisms, be they positive or negative.
I haven't thought of a decent intro yet, but here it is so far:

(BTW - this works a bit better if you listen to the Spirit Temple music while reading.)

(Pending intro)

"Unfortunately, one of those unearthly creatures has scarred my leg rather badly. I'm not sure how much further I can walk.

........

On the bright side - I'm now standing outside the entrance to this magnificent temple. The statue at the forefront stretching out her arms for me - still giggling.

I am now about to enter the temple; but i am rather unnerved by the strange laughter i continue hearing behind me...

This place is absolutely mag (!)
*.....…...
.....*

I have never seem anything so strange; the two little jars began hurtling towards me! Thank goodness I moved away in time.

Well, if i didn't have this injury that is...almost...

I am faced with two directions. One is a rather small hole, the other a passage-way. I'm sure I'm just out of reach of the smaller way. So i shall head on in the opposite direction...
This temple is already satisfying my dream.

(I am hiding behind a wall - there is an extraordinary creature in the centre of this room - a strange machine with an orbiting eye. I dare not go within it's gaze).
(Alas, i must go on - i will attempt to sneak around.)

....

I managed to sneak around this alien creature, but...another, rather spiked creature, caught my leg slightly.

Standing in this doorway, someone must have been here before. Someone much less fortunate - as there is a great deal of blood on the ground.

I sha contnue onn, as i hav this witch to aid me...."

That's it just now - and it literally took me 10 minutes to write, so I'm not expecting fireworks. Please let me know what you think though.