Hey everyone, (well it's not a very happy hello). I haven't been on the forums a lot recently, some of you might know why but I haven't discussed it with everyone on this site yet. I made a thread about half a year ago about how I have cancer and all that, so if you can find that somewhere in the general discussion threads it would help to understand what i'm about to say, but I'll recap for everyone who would rather know the gist of things, just to make it short and sweet.
First off, yes I have cancer, I've had it since January 2012 and it's a very rare cancer not usually found in adults. I am 21 years old and therefore I am of course an adult, but what's amazing is that I've lived this long with this cancer and most of the time not knowing I was capable of having it. What I mean by that is, is that I was always meant to have this cancer I have, Neuroblastoma, a type of cancer more commonly diagnosed in infants and toddlers, so saying that I have lived longer than the average neuroblastoma sufferer is something quite remarkable. I'm not sure how many people live past this age or if anyone more than twice my age have gotten it prior to me, but I'm pretty lucky to have got this far.
I've had blood tests in the past, but never until last year did I know I had these cancer cells floating around my bloodstream, to me it just seemed to have matastisized out of nowhere and attacked me. I am just as shocked now as I was back in January of 2012, I don't make it known to my family or friends, but somethings are better left said and done with people that are more anonymous, then with no one at all.
Anyway, the point of this thread was to make everyone who has commented/replied to me or even just knows that I comment and am a part of the forums, aware that I may not have much time left here and also on this website. Late last week, I was on a trip to see my extended family and I was surprised to learn that my parents were down when I arrived back from this convention I'd been to with my cousin. Anyway, my parents told me they were aware that I didn't have a lot of time left and they had joined me to tell the whole family the same thing. Only a few days ago, we had to see the doctor about making decisions and where and what to do from here on out, let's just say I am taking it well and I had been forewarned that all of this was a possibility, but now that it is eventual I have now got to contemplate many things.
It's not a great thing to learn that you're gonna die, but the thing is it's very hard to believe that you're gonna miss a whole lot of things that are going to happen but will never get to experience any of it, being a gamer right now in this beautiful time where we are getting brand new game consoles and stuff, it's surely disappointing for someone like me who hasn't got a long time left. No, I don't have much time left, it's doing my head in a bit but being who I am I can easily accept it, but I don't easily give up either. I'm hoping that I will be able to have more treatment in the near future, but my doctor thinks it may not work because of the cancers ability to resist chemicals that have already been used to treat me.
With all that past me, there are some good turn of events coming. Next month, pending health and approval from my doctor, I am hopefully going with my dad and my cousin to America for Comic-Con in San Diego, Wow eh? Yeah I'm pretty stoked at it all, I already have a list of things to do, both in San Diego and hopefully in Los Angeles if I get the chance. Going to America again has been my life long dream and it's only intensified over the last year or so because of my disease. I haven't travelled much overseas in the last 10 years, the last place we went to was over the ditch to Australia, but being so close to it's neighbourng country, I didn't quite feel like I'd travelled that much at all, so going to America again finally is a relief and will probably be pretty exciting to say the least.
What's also awesome is that my Dad has gotten in touch with the people who run Comic Con and they offered me and my cousin two free four day tickets, which is fantastic because it means a whole lot to me. I figure that with comic con, I'm finally stepping up from the mini-conventions they have here, to the massive Comic con in San Diego, which seems to be the definitive experience out of all the comic cons in America, so yeah pretty sweet.
Though I'm all hyped up for my trip to America, I don't want to see myself when I come back. I'm hoping more than anything that i'm healthy and stable enough to go and make it back again all in one place. My parents say America would be a trap for a person like me with a health condition and If I get worse while i'm over there, I could well be stuck there and because the states doesn't have free healthcare like New Zealand does, my parents could be forking their entire business to help me, which I don't want to see happening, but we are going to be extra careful before going and i'm having a check-up before I go, just to make sure i'm healthy and fit enough to be going. So you can get just a glimpse now what I'm facing, It's a bit scary, but for a person like me I'm pretty laid back and I don't tend to focus too hard on the what-ifs, but i'm concerned enough to make the right choice, whatever that may well end up being.
I hope you guys are taking all of this well, there's no need to cry or get too distressed over me, I'm trying to be happy and excited, but If you don't see me commenting for a very long time, then it's probably because I'm not here anymore to comment and talk to you guys, but don't give up, maybe just maybe there's some hope in making me feel better once I come back from my trip. I know for a fact that as soon as I'm home again, we are back to trying more treatment, but lets hope that nothing sets me back from now until I return.
My Nintendo Network ID: NinLiferOMB
Currently Playing: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates To Infinity (3DS) The Denpa Men 2: Beyond The Waves (eShop) My Backloggery
3DS FC: 2320 6151 3634
Email me at [email protected]...
Life just isn't fair. In the last few years, I've lost some distant family members to cancer, and two of my best friends have lost their mothers to it.
I really hope you enjoy your trip, you deserve it!
Very sobering post. I hope nothing stops you from going on the trip. It sounds like that could be a lot of fun.
I enjoy your contributions to discussions you're involved in, and I hope you keep visiting the site even if your health makes it difficult to do so. I think the attitude you have is very healthy, so keep that up. Good luck!
That last paragraph drove your point home, and punched straight through my bubble of unreality.
You seem to be a thoughtful person about things that matter to you, and balancing your hopes against the weight of things expected. Sharing your trials with us is an honorable thing to do, and I find it especially remarkable how this community (in its anonymity) offers a safe haven for you. The passion you have for games rivals that of any poster I've seen; I think that sort of evident dedication to a hobby, despite your infirmities, makes you a kind of living hero.
Wow, I'm very sorry to hear about your illness. I really hope that there aren't any further complications with your health, and that you make that trip to Comic Con and back without a hitch. Best of luck to you.
Really sorry to hear that man, I know first hand how hard it can be for everyone involved. Lost my great grandmother to cancer only a few years ago, we didn't even know she had it until it was too late. I don't think anyone truely gets over everything either, I started to tear up a bit just thinking about it even now despite not being a very emotional person. I can only imagine what its like for anyone else.
I hope you get to go on your trip, its the least you deserve.
I have never talked to you before but reading this really got to me,i am so sorry this has happened to you and i really hope you get to go on that trip.
That last paragraph drove your point home, and punched straight through my bubble of unreality.
You seem to be a thoughtful person about things that matter to you, and balancing your hopes against the weight of things expected. Sharing your trials with us is an honorable thing to do, and I find it especially remarkable how this community (in its anonymity) offers a safe haven for you. The passion you have for games rivals that of any poster I've seen; I think that sort of evident dedication to a hobby, despite your infirmities, makes you a kind of living hero.
You have such a way with words my young G1 optimusLime, i enjoy reading yours posts immensely.
Also, RetroGBhippie, you are definitly one of the more memorable users on this site, aside from previously having an Avatar of yourself holding up the GBA with proud NintenPassion, as Optimus pointed out your love for Nintendo(most notably the GBA!) pretty much exceeds many of the users on this site which is evident in a lot of your super long passion packed posts. You've got a lot to say! And I still remember that silly little arguement we had over the red flame colored 3DS, you just couldn't grasp why i hated the color scheme vs. the oh so pretty Aqua blue.lol
As for me, i'm either a love it or hate it kind of guy(at least on this site) I guess some people just can't appreciate my sweet retro waves, crazy obsession with the 80's and groovy town mullet.
Aww.
I've been meaning to express my enthusiasm for your shimmery shards of zebra-painted poetry; so back 'atcha!
I am a 37 year old male from the Netherlands.
I want to say that i admire your believe and strenght.
I hope you will be touched by a miracle.
Whatever happens....your soul and energy are immortal.
Just want you to know this.
My heart is with you.
Wow. Very moving post man, I wish you all the best. First of all, enjoy ComicCon! That is amazing!!! Secondly, you seem like a super dude. I'm not much older then you and you seem to be handling this better then anyone can expect. From a fellow New Zealander, (Hamiltonian) best wishes mate
Thanks everyone for the kind encouraging words, we'll just have to cross our fingers and hope I'm gonna be better, but to be honest from my perspective it sounds like I don't have a lot of time left. From the way my parents seem to think, even with chemotherapy after I get back and assuming I'm gonna still be painfree, I could well only last another three months tops, but that is all "up in the air" if you know what I mean, anything is possible in my thinking.
It leaves me sad that I'm going to lose myself, after all I have this imagination that I wish I could share, but never convey. I've never had a focus on anything really except for gaming, the year before last I was studying to become a chef at polytech (or community college as you guys in the states would know them as) but I never enjoyed it as much as I thought I would. If you could stare into my room right now, you'd know I had a passion for gaming, I have a whole shelf full of mostly Nintendo games, everything from when I first owned a gameboy pocket to my Wii U and 3DS XL right now.
What's sad though is I've never had anyone truly equal in my own thinking when it comes to my love of Nintendo, I know I have everyone on this website to talk to, but it's just so hard that most people around you are really only are the "casuals" that you hear about all the time on the net and then everyone else only seems to love playstation and xbox, I know historically Nintendo hasn't been all that popular here down under, but who's really to blame? I know right?
What I'm afraid most of all is losing my entire collection if I die, you don't know what I'd be like If I saw my collection sold off or have my brothers/family completely disrespect it. That's why I really want to give to someone I knew for sure doesn't want even a dent on my prized collection, even if they don't know me.
If I did die, I'd want to give my collection to my idol, James Rolfe AKA The Angry Video Game Nerd, who's already a big collector, I would totally give him my entire collection, I love that guy's website and his videos, characters, collection etc, he just seems the perfect guy to inherit my stuff. The problem with that of course is all the legality and stuff that goes with not being alive, so I'm on the wire on that one, maybe an email would at least get the guys attention, who knows? gotta think about that...
All that aside, trying not to think negatively and just doing what I can, going into town, grabbing lunch and contemplating what i'm currently playing and what game I'm gonna buy next are all things I usually think about, but getting my car fixed and deciding whether it's worth it or not seem to be things that worry me at the present, but seeing as I'm off to visit relatives soon I can't think of any real negative things to hold my head up about, I guess that's a good thing.
If any of you live in LA or San Diego, or have been, it would help a lot to know things I might be able to visit and do apart from San Diego Comic Con.
I've already done some research and I've kinda made a list only for LA at present, but anything that you can help with is helpful, since I don't know the places all that well, I've been to both cities before but that was a time I don't particular remember all that well.
One last thing I forgot to mention in my previous post was that my dad was planning to get in touch with the Chief Executive or staff who run Comic Con to see if they could arrange for me to meet guests at comic con, now I know that's exciting but I know nothing about the comics industry, since comics are really niche here, I've gotta check the website, but I personally would love to meet at least one person that I've seen in my favourite movie or tv series, or even just a voice over star like for example Charles Martinet, whom I met here in NZ at the Auckland Armageddon expo (which is like a mini comic con) last year.
Well I've gotta get on to that pretty soon, I'd really love for my trip to be the best thing that happened to me, but we'll just have to see, I can't promise myself too much..
My Nintendo Network ID: NinLiferOMB
Currently Playing: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates To Infinity (3DS) The Denpa Men 2: Beyond The Waves (eShop) My Backloggery
3DS FC: 2320 6151 3634
Email me at [email protected]...
I'm so sorry to hear that. RetroHippie you're a very welcomed and appreciated part of the community. I've enjoyed having you around the site. I hope your trip goes well and somehow you can pull through this. I'll be praying for you my friend. Just stay positive. You never know, the mind is an incredibly powerful thing. hug
I have to admit, I did tear up a little reading your post. I was aware of what you had been going through and it really saddens me as even though I don't know you well, you seem like a great person. We live in a fallen world and stuff like this happens all the time, it just really sucks, especially when it happens to someone you know. I admire you a lot for being so positive in your situation and trying to make the most of it when other people might be discouraged or fall into despair. I'll be praying for you and I hope you know that there is a God who loves you as well.
Hopefully you'll get to go to Comic Con and nothing will get in the way, because you deserve it man.
Oh man, really? This is bad... Great post you did. You really made a point there. Oh gosh durn, you look like you may miss out on a lot... It would be devastating of you don't survive. Just try to hang in there and have faith in the doctors/nurses. I REALLY hope you survive this, man. If it really comes to such a tragedy, then it has been great knowing you. No, something this bad cannot happen. Just keep hope, man. I'm so sorry... I hope the worst doesn't happen.
Geez man, that really sucks (though I know that's an understatement)... I hope that you can have great experiences soon if it is to be your last time here, though. I'll say to never get caught up in what might happen and just focus on what's happening! But I do truly hope that by any miracle you'll end up perfectly fine. I haven't seen your posts much, but it would still be very awful if you indeed did pass. When you think about it, it's never much of a reality that someone you've met on the Internet could die, even those you don't well. But anyways! Just make sure that you have a fun time and don't worry about what's gonna happen to you. I'll be praying and hoping for the best for you!
I wish I could help you find things to do in the area but I haven't lived there since I was a small child. All I can say is good luck and I hope your trip is something truly special.
"The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."
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