What if every Nintendo rep and everyone who worked at Nintendo decided, "You know... I hate the world."
And on that very day they make an announcement to the world that there's a new Zelda game for the Wii U. And they make a mock-up trailer and everything, and the trailer looks amazing and it supposedly shows gameplay footage and it looks like the best game ever. And at the end of the trailer, it says, "COMING... TOMORROW" and Miyamoto gets up on stage dances around and says "YESSSS TOOMAHWOAH" Then they announce that the retail price is FREE. That's right, the new Zelda game will cost everyone the pricetag of FREE, and there were already a billion copies produced and they're ready to be sold.
So, release day comes, and there are lines everywhere people waiting to get their free copy of Zelda, and I assure you that there is enough for everyone in the world, Nintendo made sure of it. And sellers at Toys R Us and Best Buy and Target and everywhere are just throwing dozens and dozens of copies in the air for everyone, and people are fighting over their copies, but they all get their own and hurry back home to toss it into their Wii U. But behind it all, the truth is, Nintendo never made a new Zelda game. No, see, everyone at Nintendo hate the world, so instead of packaging millions of new games, they packaged millions of extremely high-power bombs that are detonated when opening the gamecase.
So, on release day, there are millions of cases of houses exploding all over the world and millions of people dying. People eventually get what's going on and they realize that Nintendo is a mass murderer. So then the world police or something make their way to Nintendo HQ in Kyoto and confront the guard in the guardhouse at the main entrance. "Where is the Nintendo?!" they ask. "Here is the Nintendo" the guard says as he takes out a pistol and shoots himself once in the head, and the world police are like "OHHH MY GODD!"
Then they enter the HQ and they look everywhere inside but they cannot find a trace of anybody. Then they make their way to the roof to find all the people from Nintendo lined up all at the edge of the roof with blindfolds on and samurai swords. They all simultaneously scream "NINTENDOOOoooo" before performing hara-kiri and falling off the roof. The world police just watch in horror as all the disemboweled bloody squishy bodies hit the ground. They turn and see Shigeru Miyamoto with a grenade in his mouth. He pulls the pin and runs towards the edge of the building screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" and believing he could fly, he jumps off, arms spread like wings, but naturally human beings could not fly, so he falls to the ground in the pile of blood and gore and bodies, and in that moment, he explodes so hard, there's blood and body parts everywhere, like it's raining gore.
And that is the end of the wonderful videogame company known as Nintendo.
What if that?
STOP BRINGING THE GOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMY GOOMYGOOMYGOOMY
mods delete me
OOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMY GOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMY GOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMYGOOMY DOWN MAN
PLAY NI NO KUNI AND ...
What if every Nintendo rep and everyone who worked at Nintendo decided, "You know... I hate the world."
And on that very day they make an announcement to the world that there's a new Zelda game for the Wii U. And they make a mock-up trailer and everything, and the trailer looks amazing and it supposedly shows gameplay footage and it looks like the best game ever. And at the end of the trailer, it says, "COMING... TOMORROW" and Miyamoto gets up on stage dances around and says "YESSSS TOOMAHWOAH" Then they announce that the retail price is FREE. That's right, the new Zelda game will cost everyone the pricetag of FREE, and there were already a billion copies produced and they're ready to be sold.
So, release day comes, and there are lines everywhere people waiting to get their free copy of Zelda, and I assure you that there is enough for everyone in the world, Nintendo made sure of it. And sellers at Toys R Us and Best Buy and Target and everywhere are just throwing dozens and dozens of copies in the air for everyone, and people are fighting over their copies, but they all get their own and hurry back home to toss it into their Wii U. But behind it all, the truth is, Nintendo never made a new Zelda game. No, see, everyone at Nintendo hate the world, so instead of packaging millions of new games, they packaged millions of extremely high-power bombs that are detonated when opening the gamecase.
So, on release day, there are millions of cases of houses exploding all over the world and millions of people dying. People eventually get what's going on and they realize that Nintendo is a mass murderer. So then the world police or something make their way to Nintendo HQ in Kyoto and confront the guard in the guardhouse at the main entrance. "Where is the Nintendo?!" they ask. "Here is the Nintendo" the guard says as he takes out a pistol and shoots himself once in the head, and the world police are like "OHHH MY GODD!"
Then they enter the HQ and they look everywhere inside but they cannot find a trace of anybody. Then they make their way to the roof to find all the people from Nintendo lined up all at the edge of the roof with blindfolds on and samurai swords. They all simultaneously scream "NINTENDOOOoooo" before performing hara-kiri and falling off the roof. The world police just watch in horror as all the disemboweled bloody squishy bodies hit the ground. They turn and see Shigeru Miyamoto with a grenade in his mouth. He pulls the pin and runs towards the edge of the building screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" and believing he could fly, he jumps off, arms spread like wings, but naturally human beings could not fly, so he falls to the ground in the pile of blood and gore and bodies, and in that moment, he explodes so hard, there's blood and body parts everywhere, like it's raining gore.
And that is the end of the wonderful videogame company known as Nintendo.
What if that?
written by reddit user kevinsucks
[16:08] LordJumpMad Hides his gut with a griddle
[16:08] Reala: what ljm does for cash is ljm's business
[16:08] LordJumpMad: Gotta look good my my next game u_u
What if every Nintendo rep and everyone who worked at Nintendo decided, "You know... I hate the world."
And on that very day they make an announcement to the world that there's a new Zelda game for the Wii U. And they make a mock-up trailer and everything, and the trailer looks amazing and it supposedly shows gameplay footage and it looks like the best game ever. And at the end of the trailer, it says, "COMING... TOMORROW" and Miyamoto gets up on stage dances around and says "YESSSS TOOMAHWOAH" Then they announce that the retail price is FREE. That's right, the new Zelda game will cost everyone the pricetag of FREE, and there were already a billion copies produced and they're ready to be sold.
So, release day comes, and there are lines everywhere people waiting to get their free copy of Zelda, and I assure you that there is enough for everyone in the world, Nintendo made sure of it. And sellers at Toys R Us and Best Buy and Target and everywhere are just throwing dozens and dozens of copies in the air for everyone, and people are fighting over their copies, but they all get their own and hurry back home to toss it into their Wii U. But behind it all, the truth is, Nintendo never made a new Zelda game. No, see, everyone at Nintendo hate the world, so instead of packaging millions of new games, they packaged millions of extremely high-power bombs that are detonated when opening the gamecase.
So, on release day, there are millions of cases of houses exploding all over the world and millions of people dying. People eventually get what's going on and they realize that Nintendo is a mass murderer. So then the world police or something make their way to Nintendo HQ in Kyoto and confront the guard in the guardhouse at the main entrance. "Where is the Nintendo?!" they ask. "Here is the Nintendo" the guard says as he takes out a pistol and shoots himself once in the head, and the world police are like "OHHH MY GODD!"
Then they enter the HQ and they look everywhere inside but they cannot find a trace of anybody. Then they make their way to the roof to find all the people from Nintendo lined up all at the edge of the roof with blindfolds on and samurai swords. They all simultaneously scream "NINTENDOOOoooo" before performing hara-kiri and falling off the roof. The world police just watch in horror as all the disemboweled bloody squishy bodies hit the ground. They turn and see Shigeru Miyamoto with a grenade in his mouth. He pulls the pin and runs towards the edge of the building screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" and believing he could fly, he jumps off, arms spread like wings, but naturally human beings could not fly, so he falls to the ground in the pile of blood and gore and bodies, and in that moment, he explodes so hard, there's blood and body parts everywhere, like it's raining gore.
And that is the end of the wonderful videogame company known as Nintendo.
What if that?
written by reddit user kevinsucks
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What if every Nintendo rep and everyone who worked at Nintendo decided, "You know... I hate the world."
And on that very day they make an announcement to the world that there's a new Zelda game for the Wii U. And they make a mock-up trailer and everything, and the trailer looks amazing and it supposedly shows gameplay footage and it looks like the best game ever. And at the end of the trailer, it says, "COMING... TOMORROW" and Miyamoto gets up on stage dances around and says "YESSSS TOOMAHWOAH" Then they announce that the retail price is FREE. That's right, the new Zelda game will cost everyone the pricetag of FREE, and there were already a billion copies produced and they're ready to be sold.
So, release day comes, and there are lines everywhere people waiting to get their free copy of Zelda, and I assure you that there is enough for everyone in the world, Nintendo made sure of it. And sellers at Toys R Us and Best Buy and Target and everywhere are just throwing dozens and dozens of copies in the air for everyone, and people are fighting over their copies, but they all get their own and hurry back home to toss it into their Wii U. But behind it all, the truth is, Nintendo never made a new Zelda game. No, see, everyone at Nintendo hate the world, so instead of packaging millions of new games, they packaged millions of extremely high-power bombs that are detonated when opening the gamecase.
So, on release day, there are millions of cases of houses exploding all over the world and millions of people dying. People eventually get what's going on and they realize that Nintendo is a mass murderer. So then the world police or something make their way to Nintendo HQ in Kyoto and confront the guard in the guardhouse at the main entrance. "Where is the Nintendo?!" they ask. "Here is the Nintendo" the guard says as he takes out a pistol and shoots himself once in the head, and the world police are like "OHHH MY GODD!"
Then they enter the HQ and they look everywhere inside but they cannot find a trace of anybody. Then they make their way to the roof to find all the people from Nintendo lined up all at the edge of the roof with blindfolds on and samurai swords. They all simultaneously scream "NINTENDOOOoooo" before performing hara-kiri and falling off the roof. The world police just watch in horror as all the disemboweled bloody squishy bodies hit the ground. They turn and see Shigeru Miyamoto with a grenade in his mouth. He pulls the pin and runs towards the edge of the building screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" and believing he could fly, he jumps off, arms spread like wings, but naturally human beings could not fly, so he falls to the ground in the pile of blood and gore and bodies, and in that moment, he explodes so hard, there's blood and body parts everywhere, like it's raining gore.
And that is the end of the wonderful videogame company known as Nintendo.
What if that?
What if Nintendo had released the Wii U during this holiday season along with the Xbox One and PS4? Yes they would have stiff competition, but perhaps 3rd -party developers would have had more of an opportunity to see what the gamepad really had to offer in terms of a unique gaming experience.
I love the classics (Zelda, Metroid, Pokemon), games that break the mold (Kid Icarus, Animal Crossing, Fez, Smash Bros) and games with a powerful and captivating story (Metal Gear, Dead Space, Fallout 3).
@Nintenzo OMG I hate you, I was at work and I read this and I was trying so hard to hold in my laughter and my co-workers started staring at me, had to run into the bathroom to laugh out loud and while you can't hear much in the office you can hear loud noises in the lounge next to the bathroom people were wondering if I was crying in there when I came out. Anyways thanks for the lolz.
Now to contribute since I'm already here:
What if Nintendo made Metroid Prime Hunters 2 on the Wii U and it had a bigger, better, more robust online multiplayer ever and it reached typical FPS game levels in terms of sales.
The cat's the only cat who knows where it's at.
NNID: Muffin-Gun
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Topic: What if Nintendo did? Discussion Thread
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