Please pardon the thread necromancy, but I've got to chime in with Mario 64.
My son is also 3. I haven't made an effort to sell him on video games, and he spends most of his digital time with iOS apps that teach numbers, the alphabet, shapes, and - most importantly - garbage trucks.
But my DS cart for Mario 64 has a nice, simple game of memory matching cards among its minigames, which is easy to use and can always be won with a little planning. He likes playing that from time to time, and I've never really cared for handheld games, so I just keep the cart in there.
One day he turns it on, pokes around the menus, and finds the full adventure mode. Next thing I know, he's motoring around the castle, finding short cuts, asking for help where he can't get past an obstacle. He has learned to do the jump-hang-climb thing and the ground slam, and I've unlocked a few courses for him so he has variety. The game is so full of secrets, alternate routes, surprises, and subtly concealed fairness and do-overs, sometimes it's more like a playground than a game.
Obviously one thing Mario 64 is not ... is an RPG. But it does follow the RPG traditions of exploration, discovery, and picking your fights or avoiding them entirely. It's one of the few games I've played where you can explore an entire area without fighting, just by figuring out where to go. This allows for danger and excitement without much violence. And even though there's a lot to do that is easy, you're also experiencing almost constant failure (mostly by falling off mountains) without too much penalty; and I like that he can pick up almost immediately from where he left off.
At the same time, I see how awkward it still is for him to use two hands at once with precision. While watching him play this game, I've noticed he uses his right thumb to move on the touchscreen and then shifts that same hand to the buttons when he needs to jump. After a few days of that, he's learning a bit about two hands at once. This isn't something I was able to pick out by watching him play with physical toys or with non-videogame fare on a tablet. Maybe there's such as thing as learning dual-handed precision too young. If there is, I don't care. If there's one sure sign that a toy is age-appropriate, it's straight-up joy without frustration or aggression. Though much of the game is for older kids and adults, the parts of Mario 64 that can be enjoyed by a 3 year old are rivaled only by being thrown up in the air and maybe, maybe a really intense session of peek-a-boo.
It sounds to me like you really want your kid to get into RPGs. Don't tell me your that kinda parent "OMG my child is so intellectually superior to every child his age" (hate those kinds of parents yes your kid is smart [not talking about your kid BTW] but let's not over exaggerate at that age he's no scientist) and you want him to tackle something above his developmental level.
Anyways back on topic, I recommend the lego games they always get good reviews, you can never go wrong with Mario. All I can say is if you're getting games for your son then the games should be games he wants to play and that he enjoys (not you or a game the both of you can enjoy together because come on the 2 of you are at different intellectual levels and you can't expect to like something a 3 year old would).
On top of that vidogame systems should not be use by kids at that age how about you get him a leap pad and no I'm not kidding, you think it's probably stupid but it's best suited for someone his age and it's educational.
EDIT: Now that I re-read it I think my response came off kinda rude sorry I wasn't trying to be, anyways I hope you solve your dilemma and I hope the both of you get plenty of enjoyment with whatever games you choose.
I personally remember being about 5 when I first had an interest in playing video games. Mostly platformers like Captain Comic, Alex Kidd, Sonic and so on. I'm pretty sure my first RPG was Pokemon when that came out but that was at lot later.
Looking at my nieces the oldest got into gaming when she was around maybe 6 with a Gameboy Advance. Mostly platformers again but the new kind. Movie tie-ins and such. I gave her my copy of Donkey Kong Land to play when she was about that age and she thought it was crap because it was hard and not in colour! I don't think she's into RPGs much but she plays a fair amount of FPS now so I'm not sure it's her thing. The second youngest niece is 2 now and she is very interested in my 3DS. Loves how Animal Crossing looks and is constantly sitting at my computer and playing with the mouse and keyboard.
I personally don't think it's a bad thing to get kids into gaming as early as they want to get into it. Personally I'd probably start with something like Wii Sports if they're interested in it and then when they get to the age where understand they how how it works and how to take care of something like a 2DS graduate them to that. Three's a bit young but between 5 and 7 is about when they'll start to get really interested.
As for "age appropriateness" and "education". There's nothing better for teaching fine motor skills and than video games. If they're into it then don't stand in the way
If you plan on throwing an RPG at him, I'd recommend Super Mario RPG on the SNES. That was my first RPG and I loved it. It's pretty hard for a kid, and you'll have to invest some time into the game with him if you want him to enjoy it. If he can't handle the battles, you'll need to grind for him. Some of the puzzles are also frustrating to young minds also, so keep that in mind.
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Topic: My almost 3 year old doesn't share my taste in games -recommendations?
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