We've been thinking about this a lot, but we're not sure there are many Nintendo characters we'd trust our lives, or even basic safety, with. Look at Mario jumping around over huge gaps and wielding fire without protective gear. Luigi isn't much better! Kirby eats everything and we're not sure that's a good idea. And The kind of racing Captain Falcon does? We'll never get in a car again after driving with him.
So who did Nintendo of America choose to use in an internal safety video? Ah yes, the incredibly sensible, resourceful, selfless Wario.
This 2004 safety video has been discovered by Rezrospect and archived by Forest of Illusion and covers everything from store visits to home safety, all accompanied by the dulcet tones of Wario's voice. Wario interjects at various points to give some, um, unideal advice. But he learns throughout!
It's a real blast from the past — look at the shelves full of GameCube games like Viewtiful Joe, Pikmin, Enter the Matrix, Star Wars Rogue Squadron II, and even GBA games lined up! There are guides (remember walking into a store and buying a guide?).
You can watch the whole safety video below, and thanks to Forest of Illusion for uploading this! We think Wario should be in all safety videos, even if he doesn't give the best advice, he's just trying (and staying true to himself!)
Let us know what you think of the video in the comments!