@110%buddy - thanks for sharing. I love how the strips (based on Nintendo characters) were spoofing those of other comics (like EarthBound = FoxTrot, for example). Again, thanks for sharing. @99er - cool.
A couple gems from the Animaniacs episode "This Pun for Hire":
Yakko: "Let's hit the road!" They proceed to hit the road with mallets.
Yakko (narrating): "We sat down when someone slipped us a mickey." A waitress gives them a drink with a mouse in it. Yakko (speaking): "Nice try, bub, but we work for Warner!"
A squadron of eggs were trekking up the mountain, day and night. Then, one day, a boulder was falling from above. One said, "Oh, no! We're about to be scrambled!!" So, they all scattered away until the boulder split into pieces.
[StarBoy feels embarassed by making a bad joke as this one]
Here's the joke one more time for people who didn't see it
One day, two rednecks were having a highly sophisticated discussion. "I wish I had a job," said redneck 1 in a thick southern accent "Well," replied redneck 2 "If ya wanna git a good job, then yer can go to college!" "That'z a great idear!" said redneck 1. ~later, after filling out a college application "Since, you can't read, the only classes you can take are math and logic" said the college professor "What in tarnation's logik?" asked redneck 1
"Let me give you an example, do you own a weed whacker?" asked the professor "Yes" replied the redneck "By knowing that, I can logically infer that you own a lawn." "Yer right!" "And by knowing that I can logically infer that you own a home." "Yep, but it's just a trailer" "And by knowing that, I can logically infer that you have a wife." "Yes, i do. cousin Betty is so sweet." "And by knowing that you have a cous- erm wife, I can logically infer that you are straight!" "Wow, that's amazing! Thanks perfesser, but I gotta go now."
~Back at the trailer... "So howdit go?" asked redneck 2 "I lerned 'bout sumthin called logik" replied redneck 1 "Wut's logic?" asked redneck 2 "Let me giv' ya an example. Do you own a weedwhacker?" "Why no, I don't" Redneck 1 looks at redneck 2 with a horrified countenance "That... That... That means yer queer!"
*Hunt the Hare and turn her down the rocky road all the way to Dublin, Whack follol de rah!*
These are actual quotes of what people said in court, word for word:
Q: Did you see my client flee the scene? A: No, sir, I didn’t. But subsequently I observed someone running several blocks away who matched the description of the offender. Q: Who provided you with the description? A: The officer who responded to the scene. Q: A fellow officer of yours provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust this fellow officer? A: Yes, sir, with my life. Q: With your life? Let me then ask you this, officer. Do you have a room were you change your clothes in preparation for the day’s duties? A: Yes, sir, we do. Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes, sir, I do. Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? A: Yes, sir. Q: Why is it, officer, that if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those some officers? A: You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex. And sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years
Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Before the accident. A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes. Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir. Q: What did she say? A: What disco am I at?
Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, Sir. Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
I love that one
So, I have absolutely nothing against blondes, so please feel free to insert the hair color of your choice, this is just how my father-in-law told the joke to me:
A blonde wanted to make some money, so she decided to hire herself out as a handyman. Her first stop was her neighbor Joe. She went to the front door of the house and asked him if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
Joe agreed and told her that the paint and ladders she would need were in the garage.
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, Joe reached in his pocket for the $50. As the blond walked away, she called over her shoulder, "And by the way, that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
A guy was standing on the sidewalk repeatedly saying "56, 56, 56." Another guy came up and he said "Hey. That looks like fun. Can I help?" The first guy said yes. So they both were standing on the sidewalk saying "56, 56, 56," over and over again. Then the first guy said they should go out in to the middle of the road and say 56. So they did. Then the second guy got hit by a semi truck. The first guy went back to the sidewalk and said "57, 57, 57." The end.
Okay, some explanation for the dumb kid over here?
A guy was standing on the sidewalk repeatedly saying "56, 56, 56." Another guy came up and he said "Hey. That looks like fun. Can I help?" The first guy said yes. So they both were standing on the sidewalk saying "56, 56, 56," over and over again. Then the first guy said they should go out in to the middle of the road and say 56. So they did. Then the second guy got hit by a semi truck. The first guy went back to the sidewalk and said "57, 57, 57." The end.
Okay, some explanation for the dumb kid over here?
I think I get it. The guy is counting the people that have gotten hit.
Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I'm at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500."
"Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."
"What price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000!"
"Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great! Before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..."
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $650,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $620,000, OK?"
"Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" "Bye."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and asks aloud, "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"
So I couldn't get the images to show up, but there's a really hilarious Nintendo-based comic strip called Brawl in the Family. This comic strip has a lot of characters from Super Smash Bros. Brawl (with an emphasis on characters from the Kirby series of games), but they also have other non-Smash Bros. characters in the comics as well. You can find more of these comics at www.brawlinthefamily.com.
Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in your sight O Lord my strength and my redeemer." :) The Godloggery I finally finished my backloggery!!!! WOOHOO!!!! :) lol [url=ht...
Sean Aaron ~ "The secret is out: I'm really an American cat-girl." Q: How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two, one to hold the light bulb, the other to rotate the universe.
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