Topic: Need someone to talk to about these problems

I've been interested in video essays analyzing video games and been thinking about doing some of my own for a while, but I have a couple of personal problems that keep me from working on it. I had depression for several years which kept me from even starting it as a hobby for that time, and since then I found my attention span had weakened quite a bit, which keeps me from being more mindful, something which I feel might be important for analyzing video games. Secondly I find myself constantly worried about the passage of time and wasting too much time on something which I might be doing wrong, as well as feeling that working on my own shortcomings takes too long as well, asn this really keeps me from relaxing when I need to. Finally and probably most importantly, I am and introvert and have a lack of people to talk to my problems in real life. I live with boomer parents, who are very decent people, but I feel we are worlds apart in our interests. I had very few friends who I already moved away from some time back, and I have trouble finding new gamer friends as well. The most I can find are board game clubs, and they don't tend to too many people who play video games as well, and even then I have trouble trying to strike up conversations. I don't know if this is the right place to post, but I'm desperate to express my problems to someone who might understand.

@guardmaster2 I think you should give the video essay thing a shot. Just make a handful of videos at your own pace and see how you feel about it. As you make them, you'll probably improve in how mindful you can be with analyzing video games. As for the 'passage of time' thing, making YouTube videos isn't any sort of massive long term commitment, so you can quit at any time if you feel its not for you or that it isn't a good use of your time. Good luck!

Unfortunately this isnt the place for this sort of thing. I would speak to your primary care doctor about what you're going through and they could recommend a therapist that would help after all that's what they are there for.

i feel sorry for the problems you’re facing at the moment, i hope you can do well and make it through (i also was at that some point in my life like you; nowadays i feel way better and have solved these problems, just know that you’ll make it)

with regards of the youtube videos, i’d rather give it a try, even if that means that you’ll feel like you’re ‘wasting your time’ (i have that constant problem too of the ‘passage of time’, that’s what romans called ‘memento mori’ (remember you’ll die) and ‘tempus fugit’ (the time flees), it’s a constant i have when i do anything, really, but especially when engaging in media like cinema, literature, music, video games, you named it), because doing what you like or want to do will be better than thinking if you should do it or not in the first place, because that way you’ll know for sure if that’s for you or not (the time ‘wasted’ will be more useful because you’ll know yourself better, what you like, what you don’t, and the skills you’ve collected in making youtube videos)

the romans also had this sentence that goes ‘carpe diem’ (seize the day), which (at least how i interpret it) states that every day of your life should be used in what you like and what will be beneficial for you and others

i don’t know how you’re coping with your problems or the environment you live in, so i can’t give you that tailored of an advice, but i hope my 2 cents will help you, or at least consider things differently

Can I post a similiar topic like this in general gaming section minus the emotional problem dumping? I posted it like this here cause I really needed some place to just vent on real quick. I want to re-post it in a more relevant place and focus on the help with the game essay writing.