Topic: Do you have any Disabilities?

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I wasn't really a kid when they started handing out ADD diagnoses, but they did say I had Aspergers. I didn't actually talk until I was 10, and even then I don't speak much. I couldn't be more literate though, I have trouble not reading everything in front of me, I tend to read the entire box to whatever I'm eating while I'm eating it. >_>

Personally, I don't really believe these quacks know 1/4th about the human mind that they like to pretend they do. I experience regular bouts of incredible pain, ever since I was a kid. Coupled with extreme sleeping problems (it's not so much "insomnia", so much as it's impossible for me to follow a sleep schedule, and I hate being awake during the day), I tend to pace back and forth typing on my computer late at night. The doctor's never had anything to say about it, but I don't believe in taking medication for these sort of things, I've managed to live this long without it.

I've also got an incredible dizziness problem. I tend to keep one eye covered with my hair or my hand, because otherwise a majority of the time I'll become quickly disoriented. I pretty much experience out-of-body when I'm in a large crowd, as well as becoming semi-conscious, rather dazed, and during these moments I won't speak at all. It started about the time I was 8 or 9, and again, those quacks had nothing to say about it. I first thought it was a deficiency in diet and exercise, but that didn't seem to be the case.

I have a hard time focusing nowadays. I use to self-teach myself tons of things, but I don't read as many books as I used to, because I tend to read the same paragraph tens of times before I realize I'm not progressing or interpreting what I'm reading and give up. It's completely impossible for me to read with any disturbances, because of this my school grades were 100% the result of the current environment I was in, and usually I wasn't able to find a suitable place to study. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the way I learn, but if my friends and I are playing a particular game for the first time, I tend to start out the worst player but my skills improve exponentially quicker, and then they usually become too outclassed and lose interest in playing without me holding back.

I have extremely sensitive hearing, which could be considered a good thing, but I find people needlessly loud, stupid, and angry, so I tend to wear earplugs or earmuffs most of the time, though they don't help nearly enough. Again, I have trouble focusing and being able to hear other people talk will immediately ruin my attention. While all of these may not really sound like disabilities, they still make life needlessly difficult, make working with others a treacherous and significant exercise in mental endurance, and pretty much make the difference between great creativity and zero productivity.

Mostly because of the people around me, I'm constantly paranoid and generally stop everything I'm doing if anybody is in the room. I don't know why, that's just the way I am. I'm constantly getting screamed and bitched at, to the point where I literally don't even understand why and don't actually interpret anything that's being yelled at me (it usually gets blocked out by less than "appropriate" thoughts, or sometimes I just stop thinking about anything at all, with a few random thoughts popping in).

A lot of my other problems are more subtle, deeper things. I have trouble understanding how people think, and have a tendency to regard the majority of people as robots or lesser animals, and I suppose that would make me arrogant (though, I usually don't express any such sentiment in any obvious manner unless somebody urges me to treat them like dirt). I have... quite a substantial number... of qualities about me which would probably cause most people to instantly declare me as "insane", "in serious need of help", "completely sick and messed up in the head", and "the worst person [I've] ever met", none of which would be wise to list here.

I suppose I could tell you that I've had my own imaginary world filled with the same imaginary people, who I still converse with in my mind as though they were real people, at least since I was in kindergarten. I'm not a psychologist, but I know enough that I'm sure most people don't have that. When I'm there, it's pretty much like a completely second world, everything that happens there is consistent and constant. Conversations are remembered, trees are in the same place, everything. I was always afraid the medications they tried to put me on would kill all of that.

Besides all of these little quirks, I'm relatively normal, physically for the most part and mentally for what it's worth. All my mental issues, the good and the bad, make up who I am and I'd never want to risk changing it. My physical problems, as hellish as they can be sometimes, are far better than the actual problems some people have to deal with, and I think the stuff doctors profit from peddling could only replace my current problems with worse ones. I'm far above average literacy, all my senses are good, my health is satisfactory, I have no known food allergies, I'm good looking to the point of being vain, I have above average willpower, I am very much self-aware, but I tend to be unable to bring myself to drink much water, I greatly prefer frigid temperatures and cloudy days (unlike most people, being able to see the sun is NOT "a nice day" to me, it's "a sweltering hell and a bad day to go anywhere"), and unless I despise the people I'm around (and where I live right now, that's usually the case), I'm almost perpetually kind and laid-back, but I go out of my way to make sure the people I hate fear me like a soulless monster. I'll never be able to get along with people well, and I'll probably have constant pain and dizziness until I die, but that's just my fate, and I'd say all the good parts make it a fair enough trade.