A couple of weeks ago, we enlisted the help of a bot (or two) to help us imagine the Nintendo news headlines of tomorrow. After all, AI is probably going to be the new frontier in journalism some day, and we might as well get on board early. However, the results were... mixed at best, with the bot predicting flooding in the Switch, a game called "Pokémon Zelda: Rogue Emails", and a new Tingle sequel about space murders. Perhaps the technological revolution needs a bit more time in the oven.
Nevertheless, empowered by the things we've learned about AI by doing that article, we thought we'd give the bots another crack at it — only this time, they'll be writing a game, instead.
We downloaded the transcripts of the first two Ace Attorney cases (The First Turnabout and Turnabout Sisters), uploaded them to the Botnik predictive keyboard (which works a lot like the predictive keyboard on your phone), and started building ourselves the most unpredictable Ace Attorney case yet.
Everything — from the title ("Turnabout No Lawyer"), to the image (which was generated by Neural Blender with the prompt "A Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney case called "Turnabout No Lawyer"), to the examination and testimony headings — was decided by the bot. The only thing we added was punctuation (the bot really doesn't like putting full stops at the end of sentences).
So, for your enjoyment, here's the script in all its nonsensical glory... and, at the end, a special surprise!
Turnabout No Lawyer
Law Judge: The victim's name is Phoenix Wright. Phoenix was a terrible lawyer.
Phoenix: What was inside that man?
Judge Edgeworth: It appears that Mr Phoenix was quite empty.
Judge: Witness, please tell me more about this man.
Mia: Urp... Phoenix Wright was found in his dirty room. I saw him get a weapon from the shower.
Mia: Bwah sorry... I think I might be able to imagine a murder.
Mia: The man was standing right in front of the crime... He was standing over the victim's finger.
Mia: The killer is the chief prosecutor... I saw him laugh at 9:00 pm.
Judge: Um... Hey... I think I feel a migraine coming on.
Phoenix: No way!
Court: (I can't prove the murder took place in his dirty room!)
Phoenix: Splendiferous evidence strongly suggests that the victim had recently dumped someone!
Witness: You know what happened?
Phoenix: The spiky heart of every man is ready to help me! Naughty Mr Phoenix.
Maya: A bit of evidence: This is a piece of paper and it contains the victim's name .
Maya: Look at it... And it will tell you what was inside that man!
Phoenix: ...Maya... It is a piece of paper.
Maya: A man... Mr Phoenix... Phoenix Wright... I really hate that man.
Phoenix: Wait... What?
Maya: Your Honor sir... Tee hee... I killed him... I punched him in the afterlife...
Judge: This is getting ridiculous.
Phoenix: This is so much entertainment.
Maya: Phoenix Wright was a joke... He said he was going to explode! Yes sir!
Phoenix: No, I don't think he did, Judge.
Maya: I just don't want him to come back.
Judge: This case is done. I think it's high time Phoenix Wright is...
Phoenix: Your Honor! Please tell me why you want justice!
Judge: You are guilty.
Phoenix: ...I really don't like that.
But it wouldn't be an Ace Attorney case without all the sound effects and OBJECTION!s, would it? Luckily for you, we spent several hours using objection.lol to recreate the court case as it would look in the actual game:
Step aside, Shu Takumi! The bots are coming for your job.
If you want to play around with the Botnik Ace Attorney scripts yourself, here's the link to the keyboard. Note that, because it's only the first two cases from the first two games, the word "clock" comes up... a lot. Have fun!
When something smells, it's usually the bots
Removed - unconstructive feedback
Read the headline. Immediately thought Kate Gray hahaha. Splendid!
This bot was super horny.
This is not what I envisioned for a saturday morning reading 😨
@KateGray I’m loving these nerdy features like the articles of the future.
I think you should get the video team to act this out!!
Last week's was funny because, while you could tell they were "off", nothing was THAT far from being a usable, albeit "Engrish" article.
This is just ... random words. It's not really that entraining imo. MAD props for the video though. Like it or leave it that's a fantastic amount of effort and it shows.
These articles are so much entertainment.
"I punched him in the afterlife" is a stroke of genius.
Implying my sides already healed after that AI take on NL news. Too much going on for any of my comments to do this one justice, but... let's just say that "splendiferous" is actually a word and I can't believe I just learned a new English word from a bot.
What I find unbelievable is how Phoenix's interjections always make sense within context, even if said context makes no sense
Silly bots, scripts are for humans 😂
I’ve never played an Ace Attorney game, but wonder seriously if they could compete with this absurdity!
Thanks for the laughs Kate!
I would actually pay money for this to be a weekly feature on this site
Bots imitiating scripts or books read so funny. For something similar, do yourself a favor and read 'Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked like a Large Pile of Ash'
Thanks for the laughs, despite some readers comments, I very much enjoyed it.
These bot/AI articles are genius. Easily the best things Kate has written.
@Spider-Kev On the contrary, this is so much entertainment.
@Spider-Kev This isn't supposed to be news, it's a feature and is clearly intended to entertain. As you can see from the other comments, it has accomplished its mission.
@Spider-Kev Actually, it's the increase of pieces like this that made me come back to reading this site, after spending a couple years away.
Society: AI is going to take over the world!
I can't count how many times I have punched people in the afterlife. I always thought the English translation of the intro of Zero Wing for the Mega Drive was poorly translated by a person, but now I think they may have traveled into a future, after a possible detour into the afterlife to do some punching, to use AI because lines like "All your base are belong to us", "You have no chance to survive make your time", and especially "For great justice" seem quite similar to the results here.
There's got to be some conflict of interest to be a lawyer in your own murder case.
I definitely agree with one comment that the headlines last week were better but this is still great.
Should've put the video at the top of the article. It would've been much funnier to have watched the video before reading the text.
My favorite line is, "A bit of evidence: This is a piece of paper and it contains the victim's name."
YOU SCRIBBLED HIS NAME ON A PIECE OF PAPER? DAMMING EVIDENCE, INDEED.
@nintendolife @kategray don’t listen to the haters for these types of articles…
I don’t know about ya’ll but I have THE WORLD WIDE WEB… THE INTERNET… I can go to any “news” site.
I can go to any Joe Shmo Nintendo website and read “news.” Instead, I come here to read articles like this, along with the other great content and news this site provides. In a way, this site is sort of carrying the spirit of Nintendo by way of editorials in that there’s something for everyone. There’s a nice flair and nice sense of community here that I haven’t really come across anywhere else. You’re not going to lose me as a reader.
That being said, the photos that these AIs puke out are seriously creepy. Like… things are familiar but not distinguishable like those “stroke simulator” photos. Insanely creepy stuff.
The article was hilarious and the ending with phoenix wright being convicted of his own murder was perfect 😂
The Neural blender pictures are a bit cringe though
Punched in the afterlife - that's gonna sting!
I think Phoenix summed up this article/case quite well - it certainly was so much entertainment.
I love it when evidence is splendiferous. That's the best kind of evidence.
I love that Maya seems to be suffering from some indigestion.
Shu Takumi would be proud.
A Tingle game about space murders sounds legitimately like a good idea. Where else do you go after rupees and love? The final frontier... murder in the final frontier.
@gaga64 Ouch, poor Kate.
"Splendiferous evidence strongly suggests"...I thought the bot was going to go all V for Vendetta and bust out every S word it could come up with for a second.
Ok that was a Oscar award winning Performance! 10/10
I wonder what the bot will write about Trucy's magic panties.....
Wait... Is that "punched him in the afterlife” image a scene from Final Fantasy 8??
Looks like Squall and Zell, with the sorceress looking on...
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