The Wii U eShop sometimes comes under fire for having a library of games that seem better suited to mobile platforms. Let's be fair, though: despite their reputation, mobile games aren't intrinsically bad - there are plenty of quality titles to play on smartphones and tablets if you're inclined to seek them out.
That said, the eShop seems to attract the kind of shallow, mindless entertainment that's earned mobile gaming a stigma in the first place. DON'T CRASH, the latest from RCMADIAX, is regrettably no exception. It's about as bare-bones a product as you'll find on the eShop, and brings to mind the sort of free time-wasting software you might find clogging up the app stores of popular smart devices.
The title DON'T CRASH might remind you of the brief instructions you receive while playing WarioWare, and as a matter of fact, the level of content here is on par with a microgame. As your car and a computer controlled car zoom around an ovular track, your responsibility is to press a single button to switch lanes and avoid a collision.
You get one point for switching lanes just before a crash, and you get one point for making it all the way around the track unscathed. As you earn more points the cars speed up, making it more difficult. The game keeps track of your high score, and you can post it to Miiverse if you want. All in all though, the prevailing thought while playing this game is likely to be "that's it?" There's a sense of incredulity that takes hold once you realize just how little there is to do - simple gameplay is fine, but this isn't likely to hold your attention for more than a few minutes at best. The fact that it costs money is, in a word, ludicrous.
The visuals are somewhat appealing in their minimalism, at least. The graphics are clean and colourful, if unremarkable, and the environment around the track cycles through a few variations each time you restart. Like a number of indie efforts on the eShop, however, the music leaves a lot to be desired. It's a short loop that repeats ad nauseum, and it's a pretty grating one at that. In any case, no aspect of the presentation is going to remove your focus from how shafted you'll feel for having spent money on such a trivial experience.
DON'T CRASH feels like a single WarioWare microgame given a title screen and a launch price of $1.49. It's hard to stress enough how very, very little it offers in the way of gameplay and content. The visuals are decent enough, but that seems unlikely to quell the bewilderment and frustration of players who might be suckered into paying for a few brief moments of this joyless, vapid "entertainment."