Goat Simulator: The GOATY is the kind of game you'll either get or you won't. It's either a hilarious way to kill time and affect some form of skill amid the chaos, or it's just a jumped up joke that's outlived the laughter. Wherever your thoughts might ultimately land, there's no denying that Coffee Stain Studios has produced something quite unlike anything else on Nintendo Switch. And with every expansion released to date included with this new port, you're getting the definitive edition right there on your hybrid console.
So what exactly is Goat Simulator? Well, you control a goat (shock horror) that runs around various locales causing as much wanton destruction as it's possible for one four-legged beast to unleash. You can build up speed and headbutt scenery and people by holding 'ZR', jump with 'B', flip your body by holding 'ZL' and moving the left analog stick and grab onto things with your tongue via 'Y'. Yes, it sounds stupid, and it is stupid, but that's kind of the point.
While it's received substantial updates in the form of multiple themed expansions – all of which are included here on Switch – the game still retains the buggy, physics-driven crudeness that's made it so famous/infamous. In some ways, Goat Simulator is like a rougher version of the Skate games. While you're not trying to pull off sick tricks on two wheels, the angle and position of your goaty avatar determine just how many points you'll score. From doing backflips off the roof of a house to headbutting your way through a glass-surrounded office building, it takes quite a while to nail the subtle balance needed to land with all four hooves on the ground and keep your multiplier going.
The main Goat Simulator game revolves around this desire to rack up points and combos in various over-the-top ways, leading to some of the most bizarre activities you'll likely ever partake in on Switch. You'll smash up a BBQ and set people on fire for maximum points; you'll use a trampoline to launch into a building site and send workmen flying like skittles; you'll try to ride a bike – as a goat, obviously – through traffic and cause untold mayhem. There are even rolling objectives to complete that range from the simple (knock down some pedestrians) to the more long-winded (collect 30 golden goat statues).
Alongside the main mode, there are four extra expansions that take that same silly template and add a few extra factors for your goat to smash up. There's Goat MMO Simulator, GoatZ, Payday and Waste of Space. Sounds like a weird bunch, right? You'd be absolutely right, and it suits Goat Simulator down to the ground. Those modes simply give you a little more structure; for instance, Waste of Space sees you raising money to repair a space station by, naturally, headbutting and kicking people until they drop their cash in sheer fear. You can even teleport yourself across a room – because at this stage, why not?
Goat MMO Simulator might be wearing its love of The Elder Scrolls on its sleeve, but don't expect a mode worthy of the Dragonborn. Instead of tracking multiplied points and an overall score counter, this expansion translates it into XP and levels. It's basically the same thing, but coupled with mutators that enable you to take on a variety of RPG-style classes, each with their own set of unique skills. You can also play a microwave on legs. Don't ask why; you just can. Along with Waste of Space, it's one of the better additions and actually feels like something approaching a proper game. You can also head out and explore its naff-looking fantasy world and complete quests for NPCs, but while it's a more applied use of Goat Simulator's mechanics, its paper-thin application doesn't hold up for long.
The end result is a game with multiple personalities and vastly contrasting levels of quality. Even if you find the original Goat Simulator a bore, there's some genuine sense of structure and – dare we say it – depth to the world of MMO Simulator, while Waste of Space is considerably more enjoyable thanks to its money-collecting objectives. But for its silliness, you'll eventually start to tire of its bargain bin design, and even the extra modes can't give it the longevity it badly needs.
Conclusion
Goat Simulator: The GOATY is a definitive edition of Coffee Stain Studios' slapstick destruction simulator, and as such, it's a mixed bag that varies wildly in quality. The base modes are fun for about five minutes, and there's only so much entertainment to be had from launching a farm animal from the top of a roller coaster before it becomes dull. The Waste of Space and MMO Simulator expansions are decent fun in their own right thanks to a greater sense of structure, but the purposefully crude mechanics will start to grate after a while. This is a package that arguably works best as a smartphone proposition for when you've got five minutes to kill; when placed on a proper console with many more worthy uses of your time, it all starts to feel more than a little inconsequential.
Comments 30
Goat Simulator is one of those games you buy on Steam for $5 and get some random enjoyment out of it with friends.
@Deadlyblack
That's exactly it, bought it on Steam and played it for a couple hours and was done. Fun for a laugh, but not much else.
There's no "includes all previous DLC" that could justify the entry fee alone.
That said, it's definitely worth checking out during sales.
Way, way too expensive for what it is.
I bought Goat Sim on the 360 for $15. The fun I had playing it with friends that night was overshadowed by the creeping sense that I had utterly wasted $15. Seven years later, the regret is what I remember most. Don't make the same mistake.
The price is insulting.
My son used to play this a few years back on the pc it’s just not a game and the price is a joke
Probably the most overpriced game on the eShop right now. Not that I really care because even if it was super cheap I wouldn't bother.
I have the base game by itself on Steam, never actually launched it though.
It's less of a game and more of a playground to goof around in though, that isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Selling the complete package without a discount though clearly hasn't sat well with people, I don't want to grab it at that price either. At best I'll consider a physical release as Goat Simulator is somewhat iconic.
I got it for free on iOS some time ago, and even that felt like a ripoff.
Eh, I enjoyed the pure randomness out of it. Not really my favorite game of all time, but it's great for me to have it on a main console.
This game is fun to goof around in, but there's just no way I would pay 30 bucks for it. It needs a massive discount for me to even consider getting it again.
I had a blast with the base game for about an hour. I tried subsequent entries, but got bored very quickly; the novelty wears off!
«A mildly amusing waste of time” - well, what did you expect? Still it’s great entertainment!
Dunno what you're talking about. I've sunk so many hours into this game over the years...with the Switch version making me loose myself for a few hours. It's been one of those games that I've been like "okay, I'll play for another hour", then I emerge several hours later wondering what I've been doing all that time.
Nah, I know it's not for everyone. I'd consequently not recommend it to EVERYONE.
Yikes. Still might get this if I've got cash to blow, but I have them on my phone so that's not likely.
I’ve been holding out playing this for years and at this point I’ll just skip it and wait for Goose Game. It looks way funnier anyway.
This is one of those games that people buy because someone playing it on youtube made them laugh. Then they play it on their own and cry when they realise they just spent $30 on it.
My 9 year old insisted this what he spent his birthday money on. I did explain the concert of buyers remorse to him first but he stands by his decision. It's given him lots of fun and giggles. I've had a few too.
This is one of those game that you let out a sigh of relief when reviews confirm what you suspected – that this is indeed a bit of dumb fun and no more. This game had no right to be 'good'.
The real shame of it all?
I bought it. I decided to give it a fair chance. And boy, oh boy. I regret it badly.
It did not even keep me busy for an hour before it bored me to death. I understand there's a strict target audience for it, but man, why do the trailers make it look so fun?
Please don't buy it, at least not at this asinine price. Take it from me, doing my job for the better good of Nintendo fans.
Without trophies, Goat Simulator is best enjoyed... well, not at all.
I'm confident my kids will love watching me play this, but I'll wait for a sale.
It's one of he best games ever made.
You have never been more wrong in your life.
Did not enjoy this game...
Bought it on android a while ago and got plenty of enjoyment out of it but no way is it worth £30 even with the expansions maybe at half the price it might be worth picking up hopefully it will go on sale at some point at a decent discount until then nah
@LoriLoud Thank you for your good deed!
It's a funny waste of time as explained. There is some enjoyment figuring out the secrets and unlocking the other "goats".
This game came out a long time ago, as a parody of the many "X simulator" games that were also out at the time that were very serious.
@YorkshireNed The game is rated "M" for Mature.
I do have one question though, All other consoles say that it is 4 players, but the Nintendo Switch version says its only 2 players, can you please confirm if it's only 2 players, or up to 4 players?
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