Black Forest Games' remake of 2005's Destroy All Humans! issues a warning to players upon launching into its campaign for the very first time. The overall experience, it says, has been upgraded but the content, the story, words and images, remain the same and may be shocking to modern human brains. It's an honest acknowledgement of some rather crude early noughties humour that's aged poorly in many ways — stuff that can come across as quite offensive in this day and age — but it's also a warning that's equally applicable to gameplay here, which really hasn't stood the test of time very well.
Destroy All Humans sees players assume the role of Crypto, a rather vicious little alien who sounds suspiciously like Jack Nicholson, as he arrives on Earth in order to gather Furon DNA and investigate the whereabouts of his predecessor, a clone who vanished while undertaking the very same mission. Where this game excels is in its setting; in its depiction of a fictional 1950s America that's all white picket-fences, secret servicemen, Area 51-esque facilities and a brainwashed, paranoid public who fear the red menace and place their trust in totally corrupt government officials. It sets its B-movie stall out well, gives you a fine selection of ridiculous weapons, tricks and traps with which to go about your alien objectives but then, rather unfortunately, does very little with its promising premise.
Casting our minds back to the very first time we played Destroy All Humans some sixteen or so years ago, it really did seem like a much bigger, more complex and opportunity-filled affair than when we revisited it in this fancied-up reissue. The six open world areas in which the campaign's twenty-three short missions take place are much smaller than we remember; simple little arenas which are heavily re-used throughout the game and do little to bolster hugely repetitive core combat and stealth mechanics. You may get your hands on a bunch of cool alien tech and gadgets from the get-go here, with an electric zap gun, disintegrator ray, ion detonator, dislocator and oh-so-hilarious anal probe enabling you to blast your human foes six ways from Sunday or pull their brains out of their butts, but then missions disappointingly insist on having you repeat the same simplistic tasks ad-nauseum. There's not nearly enough inventiveness with regards to objectives, not enough challenge or clever level design to allow you to fully utilise your inventory or to explore the possibilities of wreaking all manner of OTT sci-fi havoc on the dumb humans that surround you.
Much of your time will instead be spent repeatedly disguising yourself as a human by holding down a button to 'holobob', sneaking into some base or other, reaching a great big yellow waypoint on a map and then unveiling your true from in order to waste legions of utterly dumb enemy AI. Don't get us wrong, there's definitely some enjoyment to be had in disposing of your foes here, especially when you upgrade some of your tech so you can chain together electrocutions or pop multiple skulls into green goo at once, it's just that it's all so very repetitive and simplistic. It's certainly chaotic in a GTA sort of way when it all kicks off properly too, that mad, messy type of carnage that comes about when you've got a five star rating and the army and cops are on your tail, but here the action isn't backed up by Rockstar levels of complex narrative or clever mission structure.
Taking to the skies in Crypto's flying saucer does kick things up a notch though and razing entire buildings disintegrating tanks, turrets, cop cars and trucks full of troops with this bad boy is certainly cathartic. However, outside of replaying areas to take part in races or destruct-a-thons, it doesn't get nearly enough screen-time in the main story missions. Combat, especially on normal difficulty or below, is also disappointingly easy for the most part, enemies will always make a beeline directly towards you and it requires little more than using Crypto's jetpack to jump to the nearest roof in order to outmanoeuvre them. Missions also have a habit of pulling you to safety automatically once you complete your final objective, so whatever carnage you've kicked off towards the end of a scenario is easily escaped as the game fades to black and saves you from the heavily armoured goons who just had you cornered.
There are a few difficulty spikes here and there, too, a couple of hugely frustrating sections that see you defend objectives against tedious waves of enemies as a timer counts down, or escorting a nuclear bomb through hostile territory where you'll die and die again until you get the timings down right. It's just really old-fashioned gameplay in the end, stuff that hasn't held up very well at all and isn't helped by the fact that the biggest differentiating factor between this remake and the original is its huge graphical overhaul rather than any meaningful mechanical tweaks.
Indeed, beyond the shiny new graphics, streamlined controls, a few new weapon and traversal upgrades, and a previously excised level returned to the fray, this new version of Destroy All Humans is much the same game you'll have played way back in 2005, something that hurts this Switch port more than other versions as here you're not even really getting the full benefit of those fancy new visuals.
On Nintendo's platform things have been pretty massively dialled back in this regard, with lots of very muddy textures and pop-in replacing the slick, ultra-detailed makeover that you'll be greeted with on other platforms. Of course this is to be expected on Switch by now. It still looks better than the original and the framerate rarely wavers as a result of these visual sacrifices but, in the end, what you're left with should you choose to play this version is a rather underwhelming graphical update of a title that, from a gameplay perspective, is still very much a product of a bygone age.
Destroy All Humans isn't a bad game by any means. It's got its own unique style and it certainly delivers on the promise of giving players an opportunity to decimate a hell of a lot of innocent people but, in the year 2021, what's here feels more than a little old hat. Combine this with the fact the Switch port doesn't really benefit from all the fancy graphical bells and whistles seen in other versions of this remake, and you've got a game that'll no doubt please longtime fans but will leave newcomers feeling nonplussed.
Conclusion
Destroy All Humans returns in a remake that refreshes the original's visuals, modernises its controls and adds a few new weapon and traversal upgrades to proceedings, all whilst failing to make any meaningful changes to the game's rather outdated core gameplay. What's here is still silly fun, for sure — decimating dullard humans with Crypto's high tech alien gadgets and unstoppable flying saucer can still provide some chaotic catharsis — but there's no denying this one's showing its age mechanically and newcomers to the series may well be left feeling a little underwhelmed.
Comments 59
Loved this on Series S through Gamepass. Definitely worth a go but chances are you will be done with it in 10/15 hours and that includes doing all the side content.
Long loading time on a port of a 15 y old game is an unforgivable mistake.
Poor port doesn’t deserve our money
Short gameplay can ruin the fun of just fun gaming.
Hmmm. Didn't play this on Playstation yet. But the review doesn't sound so good
@SenseiDje this isn't a port of the old game. It's a port from the new PS4/Xbox One remake
It looks absolutely awful on Switch.
Still getting it. Two of the only three ports I ever wanted, Destroy all Humans and Zombies Ate My Neighbors, out at the same time. Very excited.
@bozz
What's the third port, out of curiosity?
How's the framerate?
@Kiwi_Unlimited Wind Waker.
Can we get someone who can just review the game and not tell us how to feel about certain "offensive" things or who's inclusion needs to be applauded? This is the second review from this PJ fellow where he takes time to write things that frankly have nothing to do with a game review. This is not the appropriate platform for your opinions on social matters. Stick to games.
@SenseiDje It's a port of a remake, not the port of the original GameCube game. In that case, it makes more sense. Still annoying though and I'm still not playing this version because of how ugly it is.
Spyro on Switch is a full remake as well, and it's also on Switch, and while the game's load times can be about 20-30 seconds long, but at least that game looks phenomenal on Switch visually. It's also a collection on three games, so...
This looks rough, to the point of it looking worse than the XBox original release. I seem to remember much more foliage and looking less, what's the word...umm...drab.
@DaTrashMan completely agree, it feels like some of the articles and reviews these days are written with some kind of agenda that has nothing to do with the subject at hand.
@DaTrashMan I 100% agree with you.
@WillQuan same here was fun on gamepass but wouldnt buy a copy of it
Wow the visuals really took a big hit here on the Switch. Kinda defeats the whole point of this remaster. That and I agree with the points on how the game has generally aged kinda poorly, when I played it again on Xbox it definitely felt like a game from it's era for better or worse.
@DaTrashMan Honestly I didn't really see much that comes off as social commentary, and I am usually highly opposed to that sort of thing in gaming sites. This is a game with a lot of immature humor, things like fart jokes and stereotypes, and it's based in the 1950's with everything that goes along with that as a parody game. There is definitely some things to consider that you will quickly notice.
Could look worst Ill take it.
Decent idea, but crappy game just as it was back in the originals days.
@WillQuan- With all respect, most games (AAA or otherwise) don't get much mileage from their content. We only ever relate most games to the select few that continue to be the exception.
@DaTrashMan It's a review of a game. This is an aspect that may or may not affect someone's enjoyment, that's what reviews are for.
Should he have put a warning at the start that his review may upset you?
I’ve got it on switch and while fun the graphics are not great which is just lazy on the developers.
Its a great remake on PS4, in fact its one of the better ground up remakes on a visual level on PS4. I do agree gameplay wise its showing its age but i had a ton of fun seeing a childhood favourite looking better then ever.
Would've been better if they just ported the original version from the 2000s as this doesn't look good
Will stick with playing it on Gamepass - and before people chime in saying "portability" is better than flashy graphics, you can play this on your phone via XCloud without any of those downgrades for free if you subscribe to gamepass.
@bozz I agree I do want a port of windwaker hd
Longtime fan, so definitely buying. Had it on pre-order since it became available. Got my Blue Fire physical today in the mail so it's been a good day.
@LameUsername have you played the switch port yourself?or are you basing how the game plays by someone else?yea thought so
Play it, was a good fun game, definitely a great time killer title. Definitely better than on GamePass through xCloud on a phone cause you had full control and don't have to worry about latency, ads, and phone call interruptions ruining your play session.
Might still grab this when it goes on sale. I remember renting the original game back in the day and had fun with it.
Destroy All Humans is still funny.
@iuli Yeah I don't get that mentality, we are all here because we wanted a, you know, REVIEW for the game. The critic has already explained how it performed and provided screenshots. Heck you could watch a stream of it on youtube if you still aren't convinced. I have no idea why some people act like you need to verify everything first hand in order to have an opinion about it.
@PJOReilly You wrote a brilliant review explaining gameplay, graphics and performance perfectly. If I had to say something, you didn't mention anything about the sound and music except for the pseudo-famous voice.
I might check it... on Xbox.
@JDig I agree and the writer is just stating it. Those guys don't know Eurogamer LOL.
Is anyone else tired of hearing people say "just play it on gamepass" ?? Yes I wish the switch had gamepass but no I don't have another console and don't particularly want one.
Disappointing. I was expecting an 8 at least. Wanted a better port.
@JDig Telling your readers about how they should feel about a certain time/setting or who they should be applauding is now a selectable character in a game; is in no way, shape or form, part of a video game review. Like a "journalist" should be doing...give us the who, what, why, when, and where. Not how to feel about them.
@DaTrashMan HARD AGREEEE!.
@SolBlazer
While I get your point but I feel you should not bother with Destroy All Humans! on Switch. Don't support companies who are willing to put out a shoddy port job for a quick cash grab. While the Switch has limited capabilities compared to other platforms but with excellent ports of Doom Eternal and Crash Bandicoot 4 with barely any compromises, Destroy All Humans! is an obvious poor port. Don't support really bad ports just those are your only options, you better off just skipping Destroy All Humans! entirely if you don't want another console.
I was curious about this game and appreciate the review, including the honest appraisal of anachronistic subject matter. If it was distracting enough for PJ to mention, odds are it would distract other players, too.
Needless opinion, you may complain, but what is a game review if not opinion? PJ and the other reviewers here are game CRITICS, not just journalists reporting news. Reviewing games is a subjective job.
I’ve read many of PJ’s reviews and trust his insights. He doesn’t tell us how to think! I’m sure he offers what he thinks is relevant, useful info, good and bad.
@Farflung
I see your point, but in that case, it fell in the “other” pit of shame : greedy and messed up port. “Visual downgrade”, I can work with it, more shadders doesn’t means more fun, 2016 gpu won’t handle gazillions of triangles...
But loading times . No way.
Another one for a deep discount section I think. May even chalk it off wish/monitoring list as that list is fairly hefty.
Thanks for the review.
@Teksetter A game review is yes an opinion but the opinion is on the game content, not on how the readers should interpret something for themselves. Is the game in the past? Yes....Do I (we) care what PJ's personal thoughts of that particular setting are or does his thoughts on that setting should/have any weight on the review process.....No. At no point, when this game originally came out, was this content considered "offensive" (see old reviews) but because PJ tells me its offensive it now just is? That's not his call to make, that's our call to make. Once again, tell me what's there, not how to feel about it. He did it twice now (not something up for debate, it happened) and this is me, and apparently many others, telling him to please, stop it. Let's see if he ignores us or uses this as a platform to get better at his reviews.
Still picking it up. Will decide for ourselves if its as fun as it sounds.
@Farflung Really? My kid owns Battle For Bikini Bottom and it works just fine on the Switch.
@JayJ Its simple. Its an opinion,so everyone will have their own. If you don't actually try a game for yourself and just bleat whatever the masses are saying for good or bad, your opinion is automatically invalid, because you yourself, have no actual experience. People should form their own thoughts on individual pieces of entertainment, not just blindly believe whatever someone else says.
@DaTrashMan
Thanks for the follow-up, but I'll have to continue to disagree.
The fact of the matter is that PJ reviewed a remaster of a 15 year-old game with irreverent humor from 15 years ago. I commend the publishers for leaving that humor intact, to let us form our own opinions on it, but you certainly can't fault them for prefacing the game with the content warning.
PJ mentioning that warning in his review is likewise understandable, given the social context of the game's release. Like it or not, social values have changed over the course of 15 years.
PJ does indeed claim that some of the game's naughty humor can potentially offend people these days, but I can't see how that observation constitutes his TELLING us to be offended by it as you claim. If anything, culture warriors should appreciate that PJ referred to the content remaining intact, but now featuring a warning label, in case that would ruin the game experience for people.
So again, apologies, but I don't see how anything PJ included above would be inappropriate for a game review.
@Teksetter You must have missed the THPS1+2 review. You may not see it but we definitely do. I also don't see many other reviews giving us this "warning" so why did PJ need to? Point is he threw it in there when it is not part of reviewing the game. How do we know?....because others have reviewed this game and did not feel the need to do that. Why?....because their personal feelings on social matters are irrelevant to reviewing the game. It's no different than going to buy a car and the seller telling you about how cars that use gas can be controversial as opposed to just telling you about the car and how it works/runs. Did we ask? No. Did we ask if Destroy All Humans! has "offensive" content? No. So why is he saying there is when we, the individual, decide what's offensive? Wasn't controversial then and isn't now. But alas....we agree to disagree.
@DaTrashMan he didn't tell you how to feel, he said some people might feel a certain way. Like when they say some people may be affected by flashing lights in something, they're not telling you to have a seizure.
Honestly you seem oversensitive. Maybe take a break and find something relaxing to do because calling for somebody to change how they work just because you don't like it isn't healthy
Other sites are available if this one isn't to your taste.
@Tempestryke Well I am very familiar with this game, I got the PS2 version on my PS4, the Xbox version on my Xbox, and the remake on my Xbox. This is just the same thing only worse looking, the game is fun but this is easily the worst way to play it, it's obviously a rather poor port of the game based off what's been said about it. I have no idea why you would feel a need to go out and purchase the game to verify that yourself when it's so easy to just see what it looks like and hear what people have to say about it. You just seem to be pushing this heavy consumerism mentality of just going out and purchasing everything regardless of it's determined quality.
@JDig Yeah this is hardly the first site to mention how the game has some immature humor in it that could offend some. Honestly I simply find it to be offensively stupid at times really, but as mentioned before the game is full of people being stupid stereotypes, it's got stuff like butt, poop, and fart jokes, and "edgy" humor dialogue from Crypto. Some people are bound to find it distasteful. It's not like he is trying to push a political opinion or anything, he's literally just acknowledging it's very divisive humor, a good thing to acknowledge as a lot of it hasn't aged well.
@JDig It's clearly not just me lol. See...the many other comments (also the THPS1+2 review). Notice how all you can do is attack me, and not my argument, by saying I "seem oversensitive." If you have to attack me then you lost the argument. Thanks for the W.
@Farflung my good sir, can’t agree more !
@DaTrashMan I know, 100% agree! I was watching Scary Movie 1 & 2 on MTV the other day and it blew my mind. They were OK with the sex jokes, bad words (and there are a plenty) but they censored when the one character calls the other a "retard". And in the second movie they say about the main character that she looks like the ghost of the woman in the house but not really and when she squints it looks like she has "down syndrome" which was also censored out. I could tell what they said because their mouth movements and I've seen the movies a million times. But this just goes to show how "offensive" everything today is, except the stuff that SHOULD truly be offensive!
@JDig WE ARE OVERSENSITIVE?! Everything today comes with a "trigger" warning and we are sick of it. Just say the game has crude humor and move along. I don't need your political opinions or how you "feel" about something. I love Nintendo Life but this going into SJW territory is horrible. When your site starts pushing such buzzwords as diversity, inclusion, representation, offensive, etc. you are in SJW territory.Ughhhh
Oh the irony of obvious bigots being triggered by the mere acknowledgement that stuff changes over time. Try not to have an aneursym whenever you see someone who's not EXACTLY like you.
Damn, will you guys ever stop being unrealistic in terms of graphics on a mobile chip set? That's pretty damn cheap as all hell to give the game a con because it's graphics is nothing like PS4 or Xbox.
Bought it, and so far its a hit. Kiddo loves it.
Well, there are other reviews where this game gets way better words and score.
Thanks to reviews like this one, I almost didn't buy the game!
It's really much fun so far and something different than other games. I enjoy the Gameplay and the jokes in this game.
I don't know if it will be patched in the future, but the graphics aren't that bad. Looks best in handheld mode. Besides some texture loads, I find the graphics enjoyable.
The game uses a lot physics and shadows and stuff, it's pretty demanding and for that, it looks fine and it runs fluid.
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