We just saw the trailer for the new Bowser's Furry - er, Fury - adventure, included with the upcoming Switch release of Super Mario 3D World, and we're starting to wonder if there's something in the water over at Nintendo HQ. Why are there so many cats? What's made Papa B so angry? And, if Bowser gets a Dynamax Evolution, does that mean he's a Pokémon?
We can't lie - there's something incredibly appealing about the idea of someone pitching the Nintendo execs with "what if Super Mario Bros., but everything is, like, 200% cuter". And, sure, you could read about how to preorder the game, or look at some lovely screenshots, but we know why you really come to Nintendo Life: for our cutting-edge investigative scoops, like this first-class exposé of all the things that are cats in Bowser's Fury.
Firstly, there's clearly some evidence that a cat-based ancient civilisation used to exist, with pillars, windows, and even hieroglyphics all based around the pointy-eared animals.
Modern civilisations - if that's what we can really call the Mushroom Kingdom - seem to have followed suit, with signs, collectibles, and fenceposts all recalling that familiar kittycat shape.
Perhaps it's because nature herself is such a fan of cats: trees, shrubs, and even flowers (at least, we hope they're flowers and not amputated paws) all have feline features. If it's beginning to not make sense, that's probably because you don't love cats enough.
The enemies in this weird, cat-filled world are also either blessed with their own little ears, or they've incorporated them into their headwear, presumably to blend in.
Likewise, the wildlife is felineified, too, from birds to... bigger birds. Unfortunately, regular cats don't get an extra helping of ears. Now that would just be silly.
Obviously, the bell that turns Mario into Cat Mario (and then into Super-Saiyan Cat Mario) is a cat, too - just bigger than usual. It also meows when you ring it, which is a nice touch, with terrifying implications. Is it... alive?
Remember that world in Super Mario Odyssey where everything was hats? Who wants to bet money that Nintendo is just going through the rhyming words dictionary, and next we'll have Bat Mario, or Fat Mario?
...Actually, we'd love a platforming game about Fat Mario, with Fat Goombas and Fat Bowser. Call us, Nintendo.