Topic: Totally not fake Nintendo leaks

The place to post all that 100% accurate information from your friend’s uncle who works at Nintendo.

I thought making a thread like this would be a good idea since people really seem to enjoy posting the wackiest stuff on the Direct and speculation threads.

Be creative and have fun!

NINTENDO HOLO is the next nintendo console.
It will NOT have the switch branding.
It will have a lid but NOT two screens. Instead, the lid will fold out away from the bottom half of the device and be a black or reflective mirror-like surface and the games' graphics are projected onto it giving a diorama-like feel.
It will come in four seperate colours (⚫️⚪️🔴🔵) and be nearly square-shaped so an xl model can be sold two years later. Being this shape will allow for portability.
It will come with a (possibly coloured) base that the Holo sits on to charge and connect to the tv.
Streetpass or a variation of it will come back.
Games will come on proprietary cards that DO NOT contain the game but a software key to access it from the Holo online network. This is to appease both physical fans and the digital fans, as the physical collectors will have something to show and put on a shelf.

That's all I can glean from these documents I found in a folder which was left on a train this morning.

Nintendo is over guys!!! Oh man when Xbox goes to playstation we are so done 😭😭😭 I know how this goes guys please we all need to worry about Nintendo's future for them guys really we need to even though they don't give a crap 😭😭😭

Nintendo Hallmark
Still a hybrid console

*Around 900Gflops (a stronger version of NH at 1.4Tflops will launch some years later)
*7GB RAM (1GB for the OS, 6GB for games), but much times faster than Switch. 9GB RAM for the upgraded NH
*No RTX, No DLSS, No VR & co, because Nintendo isn't Sony which just focuses on graphics.

*820p-850p LED screen, about 1.2 inch bigger than OG Switch
*About 2-3 hours better battery life
*No BC because NH uses a very different media storage compared with Switch.

Still no Virtual Console since it sold terribly. poorly on Wii U and New 3DS, it's just a very vocal minority which tried to persuade us about the opposite.

Launches in late 2025 or early 2026 if everything goes smoothly and that nothing awful happens then.

It will have its 2 first years very similar to Switch. Like new Mario Kart, 2D+3D Mario, Kirby, Zelda, Splatoon, Animal Crossing games, and Monolith's new IP + Xenoblade X Remaster and X2 along with some more surprises.
The next Smash will arrive first 2-3 years later.

Nintendo has FORGOTTEN about the Switch…

Nintendo have expressed concerns over many challenges facing a smooth transition from Switch to their next console. With many industry analysts predicting it as an impossibility to match the Switch's success, Nintendo has no option but to simply release the OG Switch again. The launch games are expected to be the exact same ones originally with no change of scheduling. Nintendo are no stranger to leveraging nostalgia as we approach the Switch's 10th year anniversary...

Seeing from Sony and Microsoft over the PS5/Series X|S generation that creating more powerful hardware makes it extremely difficult to have a reliable 1st party software output (former relying on 3rd party exclusives and remasters of 1st party games already playable on the current system, latter relying on acquiring publishers), Nintendo have decided to extend the current Switch's lifespan indefinitely.

Nintendo confirmed to be making a PS5 level powerful home console. Because they really need the handful of AAA games you wouldn't buy on a Nintendo console anyway.

I heard from a very reliable source that Nintendo will stop making consoles and it's actually trying to create a living Mario. Technically, they already managed to do it since 2021 but he turned violent and ate one of the lead scientists' head that was working on the project, claiming that it was a mushroom before they managed to control him. They are modifying his behavior so that we finally have a family friendly plumber this Christmas.

RIP Robert Albert Robertson Albinson.

There’s technically already a thread for this ( https://www.nintendolife.com/forums/general_discussion/the_th... ), but it’s kinda dead lol

Nintendo Switch 2 ends up being beaten by the Sega Nightmarecast

Nintendo is worried about children's health and will do everything they can to improve it going forward.

They will release a new Fitness app for Android and iOS on the same day as the new console.
In order to play the Switch 2, you first need to acquire fitness points with the app.
One hour of walking rewards you with 2 hours of playtime. Other activities might reward you with more or less gametime depending on the calories burned.

If you save up enough Fitness Points, you can spend them in the eShop to unlock themes and profile pictures. Unlocking folders is also possible, but will require many hours of healthy activities.

The rumours of Microsoft giving up on Xbox are true… because Nintendo is buying Microsoft!

“Viva Piñata Cultural Appropriation” (title not yet final) is going to be a launch title - the only first party game in a line up of Ubisoft ports. Mario & Master Chief at the Los Angeles Olympic Games will also be announced in the next direct.

Pokemon Black 3 and White 3 are going to be revealed on Feb 27th in a Pokemon Presents at 7:00 Pacific Time. The games are going to take place in Unova around 9 years after Pokemon Black 2 and Pokemon White 2.

• The Box art Legendaries are the "Original Dragon," but Paradox versions of it, hailing from another timeline. One in from the past (White 3) and one from the Future (Black 3).
• The games are grid-based and have a Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl-like art style, yet they're far more polished.
• Terastalization occurs in Unova, which brings further conflict to the region as wild Paradox Mon start to appear.
• Villains are a team plasma from another version of Unova, which found themselves displaced within the wrong timeline.
• The battle subway is closed.

My uncle actually does work at xbox 360 so yeah, I’m going to get you banned from playstation.

@StuTwo Not just Microsoft but I heard through trusted sources Nintendo had put on a moustache and under the name Mr Snrub started buying up all Sony shares too.

Power Gloves (Not to be confused with the Power Glove). Contoller interface slides on user's hands. The system itself will be sphear shaped, made from rubber. Immersive HD3D tactile feedback will occur when user holds, bounces, or throws the system or "Joy Sphere" (working title). Possible periferals; a circular ring which can be attached to a wall which the Joy Sphere can be thrown through (Joy Hoop), a rectangular one the the Joy Sphere can be kicked into (Joy Box), and a short pole which can be used to hit the Joy Sphere (Joy Stick).

This is inaccurate. I have insider information that they're actually calling this circular ring the "Joy Hole".

Nintendo is to reveal a new color, the color is called HGUEDB, it shall be revealed on 22.3.7

@StuTwo The infographic I got from my uncle who works at Nintendo said "working title" for a lot of these things, so your source may be more up to date. "Joy Hole" is probably the final name.