Retro Reviews
Review Winter Sports 2012: Feel the Spirit (Wii)
Winter blunderland
Another month, and yet another collection of motion controlled recreations of various sports rears its head on Wii, a console that already has sports-based minigame collections in unparalleled abundance. The latest contender to make a foolish bid to overthrow Wii Sports Resort as the undisputed champion of must-have titles for...
Review Carmen Sandiego Adventures in Math: The Case of the Crumbling Cathedral (WiiWare)
In Russia, game disappoints you
If you’re wondering where in the world Carmen Sandiego is this week, or what in the world she’s up to, look no further than Moscow, capital city of Russia. As is generally the case, Sandiego is busy using one of her goons from the criminal organization V.I.L.E. to abscond with with a precious landmark. This...
Review Stonekeep: Bones of the Ancestors (WiiWare)
Rock-solid or balderdash?
Stonekeep: Bones of the Ancestors, a remake of Interplay's mid-90's first-person dungeon crawler, sounds pretty good on paper. The Wii is a bit short on quality RPGs — especially on WiiWare — and Stonekeep was a decent-looking, competent RPG back in its day. But pre-rendered 2D environments and FMV characters are no...
Review Prince of Persia (3DS eShop / GBC)
Lowly servant of Persia
There's no question the original Prince of Persia is a classic game, with its iconic realistic movements, precision platforming and time limit. It's been ported to many, many platforms over the years, but does this handheld version hold up as well as other versions? In the transition to Game Boy Color, most of the game has...
Review Anne's Doll Studio: Gothic Collection (DSiWare)
Doll-orous
Anne's Doll Studio: Gothic Collection is your chance to slap drab Gothic accessories on two dead eyed dolls that look like charmless rejects from the movie Corpse Bride. That sentence is a complete and accurate summation of this title, and it's probably the only thing you'll need to read in order to decide if you want it. Anne's Doll...
Review 40-in-1 Explosive Megamix (DSiWare)
More is less
You’re given a bag of sweets. On the outside they’re a bit misshapen or broken up, but at least they’re brightly coloured, there’s a big variety of flavours and there are plenty of them, right? The first one doesn’t taste quite right. Neither does the second one. Nor the third. Half the bag has to be thrown in the bin when all...
Review Prince of Persia (Wii Virtual Console / Super Nintendo)
Worthy of the throne
Most gamers are familiar with the original Prince of Persia. Its incredibly realistic animations, created by Jordan Mechner from hours of video footage of his brother running and jumping around, made it an instant hit, and it's still one of the most well-known western game franchises today. Most people, however, are only...
Full of fun or made of cheese?
While many portable games praised for their accessibility and simple controls are often times associated with mobile game platforms, DSiWare is not without its own quality pick-up-and play titles. Games like Reflect Missile, Pop Plus: Solo and the Art Style series offer satisfyingly simple gameplay perfect for short...
Review Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones (3DS eShop / GBA)
Once more, to arms!
For such a long-running series, it's hard to believe Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones was only the second game to leave Japan after GBA predecessor Fire Emblem. Since then the series has had a far bigger presence in the West, a fact underlined by Sacred Stones' status as a 3DS Ambassador title. If Sacred Stones is your first Fire...
Review 101 Pinball World (DSiWare)
Deaf, dumb and blind
101 Pinball World is, quite frankly, confounding on every level. Teyon's latest misguided attempt to cram large numbers of poorly-designed levels into half-baked games has resulted in a broken, hideous, aurally offensive, shambling monstrosity of a game. And that's being polite. Releasing in North America alongside the...
Review Super Mario Advance 3: Yoshi's Island (3DS eShop / GBA)
Drawing you in
Super Mario Advance 3: Yoshi’s Island joined a Nintendo tradition of re-releasing classic titles for a new audience. Bringing an iconic Super Nintendo platformer to the Game Boy Advance seemed perfectly apt, with the handheld more than capable of 16-bit standard visuals. The question remains, is this port worth playing today?...
Review LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7 (Wii)
Let's finish this the way we started it... together
Legend has it that every time Billy Joel drives to a holiday party that has a piano, he knows that he's going to end up playing Piano Man by request. He's played it countless times before, but when he plays it again, people will like it. It won't be surprising or innovative, but it will be...
Review Trip World (3DS eShop / GB)
Bad trip?
Sunsoft made a ton of great games for Nintendo systems back in the day. Everybody knows the likes of Blaster Master and the NES Batman game, but they also had a ton of equally great games which people simply didn't find out about. We've already had some, like Ufouria: The Saga and Lock 'N Chase, but thankfully it's continuing its support,...
Review Zombii Attack (WiiWare)
iinsufferable
Zombii Attack is a very silly game. Its main mechanic — firing zombies out of a giant slingshot — is strange enough, but even more preposterous is the fact that this game actually got published on WiiWare. The game is so horrendous that the campy feel and OK music don't even come close to saving it from its abominable controls and...
Review Successfully Learning Mathematics: Year 2 (DSiWare)
A logical progression
The Successfully Learning series is becoming one of the most prolific on DSiWare, with Successfully Learning Mathematics: Year 2 now the ninth title on the service. Versions of this mathematical matter have previously been released on WiiWare, but Freddy the Vampire’s campaign to teach all young Nintendo gamers through...
The bore gang
The Kore Gang has been a long time in the making, a fact reflected in the final result. At its best, it’s colourfully innocuous and fun, while at its worst it can be frustrating and infuriating. It’s likely to be divisive as a result, so we’ll do our best to break it down. You know what everyone likes, though? Good intentions,...
Review WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgame$! (3DS eShop / GBA)
No time to catch your breath
Nintendo has made its name in the games industry by providing tightly focused and highly polished experiences for over 20 years. Its games are always regarded as some of the best in their respective genres, so what to do when it's conquered all charted territory? Invent new ones, of course. WarioWare, Inc.: Mega...
Review Mario vs. Donkey Kong (3DS eShop / GBA)
A worthy successor
The Mario vs. Donkey Kong series has been going for quite a while now, with four entries under its belt. If you've never played the original, you'd be forgiven for thinking that it's not much more than a fun Lemmings clone, but that's actually not true. In fact, Mario vs. Donkey Kong is closer to the Game Boy version of Donkey...
Review Carmen Sandiego Adventures in Math: The Big Ben Burglary (WiiWare)
Big Ben brain buster
Episodic gaming is becoming a regular occurrence on the Wii and DSiWare services, and whether that’s a good or bad thing is completely up to the individual. It is true, however, that if the first episode in a series isn’t very good, then there’s a chance that it won’t get much better moving forward. Carmen Sandiego...
Review 3 Heroes - Crystal Soul (DSiWare)
Crystal meh
CIRCLE Entertainment has a whopping 11 releases on DSiWare, with 3 Heroes — Crystal Soul the latest arrival. And while the medieval theme the developer is obviously fond of is still prevalent throughout the experience, this time around it's more of a puzzler than the usual strategy title. At the start of your adventure, you'll find...
Holey-er than thou
Quick Fill Q is the story of a pink ball rolling across featureless terrain at a glacial pace. Every so often he — this ball is a living creature, for some reason — will come across a hole that looks suspiciously like several Tetris pieces were removed from the ground, and it's up to you to fill it. That's the game, in its...
Review Slingo Supreme (DSiWare)
Will it eat your baby?
Some games just don’t translate well to the video game format, among them bingo and slots, unless you can bet real money on them. They’re both completely up to chance, and that’s generally not enough to drive a gamer. It’s strange, then, that combining the two works so well. Slingo Supreme does a decent job of bringing...
Review Flipper 2: Flush the Goldfish (DSiWare)
Flippin’ out
The DSiWare service continues to serve as a home for independent developers with innovative ideas, and Flipper 2: Flush the Goldfish is another example of that creative spirit. A sequel in name only to Flipper, this latest creation from Goodbye Galaxy Games is full of surprises. The main link to the first game can be found in the...
Review Bionic Commando (3DS eShop / GB)
Don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that swing
If there’s one sacred cow in the entire platforming genre, it’s jumping. According to our highly scientific calculations, there are one hojillion sidescrollers that rely on hopping all about to climb, collect and kill. Capcom’s Bionic Commando series has plenty of climbing, collecting and...
Near perfect fit
We all know that there is an over-abundance of puzzle games available on the DSiWare service. We also know that there are quite a few DSi and WiiWare games that were originally released as apps on the various mobile services. Miraculously, Doodle Fit is one of those rare games that comes from both of these categories, yet still...
Shoots too narrow
On the Wii Shop Channel, EnjoyUp! Games describes Soccer Up! as being "a funny soccer game." We're willing to bet you and EnjoyUp! Games have different senses of humour. But we're also willing to bet you have different definitions of "total control," "inertia" and "soccer." Indeed, much of...
Review Chronicles of Vampires: Origins (DSiWare)
Not so original
If we made a list of things that we've seen just a little too much of in recent years, vampires and hidden object games would sit somewhere near the top. If that weren't enough to temper our excitement over Chronicles of Vampires: Origins, it happens to have one of the clumsiest titles we've read in recent memory (maybe because The...
Review Commando: Steel Disaster (DSiWare)
Steely gamers only
In the early 1990s, when the very idea of 3D polygons was beyond most imaginations, 2D run-and-gun shooters were popular amongst dedicated and skilled gamers. Titles such as Contra on NES, Gunstar Heroes on Mega Drive and Metal Slug on the Neo Geo meant that most console owners experienced, and often loved, the genre. Commando:...
Review Wario Land 4 (3DS eShop / GBA)
A treasure
Wario is pretty good, for a bad guy. To look at him you wouldn’t think he’d have a heroic streak at all; he’s got the squiggly moustache of a pantomime villain and a nose that would put any alcoholic to shame. Despite all this he’s secretly a sweetheart: considering that the rotund treasure hunter started life as an antagonist to...
Review WordJong Arcade (DSiWare)
Will it put a spell on you?
A DSiWare shopper with yet another mahjong solitaire game is like a mule with a spinning wheel – no one knows why he got it, and darned if he knows how to use it. But WordJong Arcade stands out from the pack as it gives the game a Boggle twist; instead of removing matching pairs of tiles, you'll form words as you clear...
