Monty Mole Sad
Image: Nintendo Life

Here's a discovery that it brings us no joy to report: nobody likes Monty Mole.

Now, we know what you might be thinking, "Wait a second, I love that guy!" (heck, he's this writer's Mario Party main), but we're afraid that no, actually, you don't. Play Nintendo has made it quite clear.

This shocker was brought to our attention by the fountain of all Mario knowledge, Supper Mario Broth, on BlueSky, and the evidence is pretty conclusive. You see, the Play Nintendo website (a site aimed at children, full of fun Nintendo facts and activities) has a long list of 117 different Nintendo characters, each of which can be selected to bring up relevant crafts, wallpapers, and links. On each of these pages, you will find a list of that character's friends, giving you official, canonical proof of who does — and does not — like each other in the Mushroom Kingdom, Hyrule and beyond.

Now, you can click on each of these characters individually and check out who they're pals with (Mario and Peach are friends? What a shocker!), but the real juicy gossip comes when you start to look at all of the one-sided relationships that the website sets up. Supper Mario Broth has assembled a graph to break it all down, flagging such heartbreaks as Waluigi being friends with Bowser but Bowser not being friends with Waluigi in return. Oof, that one hurts.

Glancing through the graph is like binging a soap opera (the heartbreak! the betrayal!), but it also exposes one of the loneliest faces in the Mushroom Kingdom: Monty Mole. Despite having the likes of Rosalina, Toad, Goomba, Shy Guy and Pauline on his friend list, none of the 20 characters have him on their lists in return.

In fact, after looking through all 117 characters, we can confirm that nobody calls Monty Mole a friend. Nobody.

Now look, we get it. Monty is almost permanently underground, his 'bit' of throwing wrenches at people got old really quick, and he does that weird little belly slap whenever something good happens. He might not be the first name on anyone's dinner party list, but he can't just have no friends. The poor little guy doesn't deserve that.

So, next time you're heading into a game of Mario Party or picking out your racer in Mario Kart, maybe consider choosing somebody who doesn't get enough love. Come on, Monty Mole needs some mates.

Do you consider yourself a friend of Monty Mole or are you just like everyone else? Let us know in the comments.

[source play.nintendo.com, via bsky.app]