I don't think you need to be friends as there is no way to limit your interactions with online players to just friends (as far as I am aware). I learned of this just a few weeks ago when conducting a trade with another user on the site.
Using a code is the best way to narrow down who you would like to trade/battle with.
Porygon did nothing wrong.
Pokémon Sleep Friend Code: 1158-2327-1187
Make sure you're connected to the internet as well (and not searching for a local player). I realised that I made that mistake the last time. If you've already input the code, you won't need to do it again after establishing an online connection.
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Topic: Pokemon Sword & Shield
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