Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

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@Applejacklove - Welcome to the herd! Sadly SquiggleTail is out for a while, I'll be doing the drawing this time around.... but I don't feel sick...

@Bossmank - Your welcome, I had no idea

@everypony racing with me, sadly I have to go from the racing as I said but it's because I need to get to work, for SquiggleTail, if you follow

@Twilight_Crow - Thanks for saying it's time, so here I go again,

First one,
The evil mind let the anger guide her in a circle of neverending cursing monologues, useless plots, and imaginary revenge scenarios.
About the word neverending, I can't find a use if it together like that expect for the title of a band and the story. So you'll either need a space or a - in there and I have found it in this form, never-ending, so likely you should switch to it,
edited version: The evil mind let the anger guide her in a circle of never-ending cursing monologues, useless plots, and imaginary revenge scenarios.

This is a suggestion and as normal, feel free to ignore me here,
Surprisingly, Nightmare’s happy thoughts aren’t helping... now she wants to... do WHAT to Celestia?!
I like this line as it suggests something graphic or horrendous, however this might make it stronger, one thing I think you need is an "and" before "now", as it would give pause and because your changing Luna's thoughts, so the "and" will help show the change, next change the "do" to "DO" as it would put more weight on the word "WHAT", it's up to you as always but it might strengthen the line,
edits in the line: Surprisingly, Nightmare’s happy thoughts aren’t helping... and now she wants to... DO WHAT to Celestia?!

Original line: Eeeeew... And now I can’t take that image from my mind.
I've got a few things you could try here, first I think you need to put "And" to "and" as your just considering her thought after a pause, something you've already been doing in the paragraph, second this one isn't needed but if you wanted the previous line to seem like it was very evil, for what ever Nightmare Moon was thinking of, you could try "Disgusting" instead of "Eeeeew", then you could also put an "!" before "..." and leave the "And" as it is
Suggestions added: Eeeeew... and now I can’t take that image from my mind.
Other set: Disgusting!... And now I can't take that image from my mind.
Of course I could be totally wrong on this but, I'm still going to throw it out there.

Wait... How is Celestia not a happy thought?
Two capitals again, not that it's wrong but you haven't been putting capitals after Luna's pauses for the most part, so you may want to drop the "How" to "how"
Changes in effect: Wait... how is Celestia not a happy thought?

original: Hehe, we used to make a great team.
Ahh, I knew it was used for laughter but M-Word did not like it, so I googled it, yeah, it's a group of people and their langue, I highly suggest another way of writing the laugh, "He-he" with a dash is laughter, without dispute and another form could work, it's up to you as it's yours and I've seen hehe used as a laugh but the capital refers to a people and their langue.
He-he, we used to make a great team.

Word hated this next one and I found why here, http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/everyday.html
When she took the responsibility of raising the sun everyday.
So based on what I read there^, you want,
When she took the responsibility of raising the sun every day.

Why did you have to loose yourself pursuing your dreams?
this one's an easy fix, you want "lose" not "loose", after all she's losing herself not loosing herself
Why did you have to lose yourself pursuing your dreams?

“Very well, thank you... you seem happy.”
It took me a minute to figure out why this bothered me but I figured it out. I've seen and heard that kind of sentence before, they are questions, which is why it stood out. Then your following line gives a greater suggestion that it was in fact a question asked by Resourceful, so try it as this,
*“Very well, thank you... you seem happy?”
You could go farther if that's what your after and add a comma after "seem" for effect as if she is still seeking out the word for Celestia's mood but just making it a question should be fine.

She skimmed through it and, finally, the unicorn magic put the moon on it’s way.
I was forced to look this up because M-Word (Microsoft Word) complained about it's and I found this, http://www.cgl.uwaterloo.ca/~csk/its.html which says as I know "it is = it's" and the best part was it gave an easy way to tell if "it's" or its should be used and it comes down to if "it is" can be used then "it's" is fine if not, use "its" and well "it is" does not make sense because "it is way" doesn't so you want "its",
correction added: She skimmed through it and, finally, the unicorn magic put the moon on its way.

That’s when she found out the truth: she was a terrible ruler, and, at that point, she had no idea what she was doing.
are you going for a pause after "ruler" because you don't need a comma before "and", there is a natural pause before the word and, so the comma is unneeded, I do like that you make a pause after "and",
That’s when she found out the truth: she was a terrible ruler and, at that point, she had no idea what she was doing.

“No, no. This has nothing to do with that,” spatted the pegasus angrily.
"spatted" took me a while to find, but I eventually found it as a verb, which is either, "Slap Lightly" (which you are not using) or quarrel pettily, which I think is what your using. Now "spat" as in the pegasus made a quick come back, maybe even "spit" as if the pegasus spit the words out in disgust. Of course you get the same meaning out of the word "bickered" in there would work or rearrange the word order, which I think will be what you want,
“No, no. This has nothing to do with that,” the pegasus spatted angrily. There it is rearranged
“No, no. This has nothing to do with that,” bickered the pegasus angrily. That is the strongest of the three words mentioned if you like the current word order, as normal, up to you but it clears things up a bit. Also if you go with the reorder, "angrily" could be put as "with anger", same thing different wording.
“No, no. This has nothing to do with that,” the pegasus spatted with anger.

The aliciorn nodded gently in response.
I'm so sorry, almost missed this, then I thought it looked off, after all M-Word hates all of the pony terms, but then I noticed the extra i in alicorn and google confirmed it, you want "alicorn" instead of "alicrion"
The alicorn nodded gently in response.

It works like a charm, they seem more comfortable... Maybe If I just talk normally... but, the voice is traditional... er I’ll think about that later.
Okay your playing with ... and upper case letters again, you have "Maybe" as upper case, where everything else is lower, so I think it should be lower too,
It works like a charm, they seem more comfortable... maybe If I just talk normally... but, the voice is traditional... er I’ll think about that later.

This chapter is the beggining of Celestia's arc. I love Celestia, and I have this very weird vision of her being like a Pinkie Pie trapped by her sence of resposibility, and royal duties.
Last three, all spelling, "beggining" your right there is a double letter but it's the "n" not the"g" so want "beginning", next is "sence", you want "sense", they both sound the same however, it gets me too, and last but not least "resposibility" should have this for a spelling, "responsibility" and here it is with the edits,
This chapter is the beginning of Celestia's arc. I love Celestia, and I have this very weird vision of her being like a Pinkie Pie trapped by her sense of responsibility, and royal duties.

Well Twilight_Crow it's done, I had fun doing this for you and await the next chapter to edit. I'll give another look back for spelling in all three again later. Hope I can read the next one soon.