So. We are now in a post-Chris-Pratt-as-Mario world. A world in which we know what Mario sounds like. The trailer released today has provided everyone with a first look at Mario in The Super Mario Bros. Movie, as well as a first listen to the voices of Bowser, Mario, Toad, Kamek, some penguins, and a teeny-tiny bit of Luigi.
Here's our gallery of basically all the shots in the trailer, with a few frame-by-frame breakdowns of what we're seeing:
Our opening shot. An ice kingdom. There are a lot of ice kingdoms in Mario, but this one isn't immediately familiar to us. Okay! We're getting some innovation already. Nice.
Oh no! Lava! The worst thing for an ice kingdom other than global warming!
The lava is being shot by... a giant floating rock island. With Bowser's face on it! He does love to have floating things, doesn't he? He usually travels around in that horrible clown-face helicopter, after all. Bowser, honey: Tyres aren't that expensive.
Bowser's floating island hovers ominously over the ice kingdom. We can only assume that this is not good for its inhabitants. Wait, who are the inhabitants?
We'll get to the inhabitants in a minute, because for now, it's time for Kamek! Everyone loves Bowser's long-suffering... assistant? Grand Vizier? Adviser? Nanny? Anyway, it's Kamek. And Kamek is currently serving as Bowser's, uh, hype man, announcing the King of the Koopas himself...
There he is! B-Dawg! Tenacious B! The daddy himself, Bowser! In the flesh, or, uh, scales! He's very on-model, and he's quite sinister. In Mario games, Bowser has ranged from scary-but-beatable to comic relief, like in Paper Mario, but in this movie (at least, in this trailer) he's pretty terrifying. With his floating lava palace. Even his minions are scared! And they're on payroll!
It's clear that Bowser has amassed a force to attack this ice kingdom. He clearly sees it as a threat. Why does he want it? Bowser's usually been all about princess kidnapping, not territory claiming. These ice citizens must be really menacing.
And there he is again. Bowser's height and muscle are enough of a worry without all the lava and armed forces, really. Jack Black's first line plays as Bowser booms, "OPEN THE GATES"...
The gates open. Wait, is this Elsa's house?
Awwww! It's penguins! Wait, it's penguins? These guys are what Bowser is fighting? They're tiny. And they look a lot like the penguins in Super Mario 64. Just chuck 'em off a cliff!
The lil pengies valiantly attempt to pelt Bowser with snowballs, but, you know, he can breathe fire, so he's not bothered. Also, they're tiny. A single ice cube is catapulted into Bowser's army, and RIP to that one Koopa.
"Do you yield?" asks the Penguin King. Bowser laughs. "I do not." Kamek helps out with a levitation spell, yeeting the pengies out of the way before Bowser lets rip with an ice-melting fireball...
Ouchies. We hope the ice kingdom had Bowser insurance. That looks expensive.
"I finally found it," cackles Bowser, in front of an iconic Power Star. "Now who's gonna stop meeeee?"
...You already know the answer, of course.
A red-shirted, denim-dungareed man gets catapulted out of a green pipe to the strains of BEE-BEE-BEE-BOO-BEE-BOO! BOOP. You know the one. He hits a mushroom, bounces off, and we hear a soft, mysterious piano melody that basically says "w...what is this place?"
Mario also says "what is this place?"
So, okay, we've got a Mario who doesn't know about the Mushroom Kingdom. That seems unusual and new. We can only assume that The Super Mario Bros. Movie has, indeed, gone the way of the isekai — the anime trope that sees normal human beings get magically transported into another world, usually because they're the Chosen One or something similar.
Hence why Chris Pratt is the voice of Mario. Because pre-isekai, he's probably just some New York guy with a penchant for red clothing.
He reaches out for a blue mushroom, for whatever reason. The man is surrounded by weird stuff and the first thing he wants to do is touch the one blue mushroom? Wow, Mario.
Anyway, turns out it's poisonous:
"DO NOT TOUCH THAT MUSHROOM YOU'LL DIIIEEEE" yells Keegan-Michael Key as Toad. Now, we were imagining his take on Toad to be much mellower than the very loud and high-pitched Toads we know, but it seems like Key has met us halfway, with a boisterous yet goofy Toad who appears to be serving as Mario's guide.
Oh, also it turns out the mushroom isn't poisonous. That would have been a really short movie.
These images are just for Toad appreciation. Look at the lil guyyyyy. So squishy.
"Come on, Mario!" says Toad — so clearly they're acquainted — and they both bounce off towards the Mushroom Kingdom and Peach's castle. Also, for our British-speaking fans: Toad says Mah-rio, not Marry-o. Sorry.
"Mushroom Kingdom, here we come," says Pratt in a sort of... NYC Italian accent, maybe? It's hard to tell with so little information. It sounds fine. Maybe a bit... deliberate? And slow? But again, it's just one line.
Can we tell any information from this wide landscape, that wasn't already in the poster? Hmmmm... Not really. Well, okay, one thing: In the poster, there were islands and blocks and pipes floating all over the place. In this shot, there aren't. So, if we had to guess — Bowser's floating technology and/or Kamek's hover-spell probably mess up the Mushroom Kingdom at some point.
Also! We get a view of Mario's front. The M on his hat is smaller, his eyes and face are rounder, his moustache is a lot smaller (more realistic, probably), his ears are smaller, his eyes are closer together, his fingers are REALLY LONG, and he's got a little pocket on the front of his dungarees.
But most importantly: HE'S WEARING A SHIRT. Has Mario ever worn a shirt???? With a collar????????????????
A familiar tune plays, albeit jazzed up to sound more like the blockbuster, drum-heavy trailer music we're used to. Thanks, Koji Kondo.
Finally, a confirmation of the title: The Super Mario Bros. Movie! In the Mario font and all!
We reckon the "Bros." part is important. Why?
...Because the final shots, as if to confirm his presence and importance, are all of our boy Luigi (played by Charlie Day).
Luigi's running across lava from Dry Bones — one of Bowser's many minions — and hiding in what looks to be some kind of old, abandoned house. Maybe... a mansion? Ohohoho. Clearly, something Bowser-flavoured has gone wrong in Luigi's vicinity, and we don't yet know why he's separated from Mario. Probably for plot reasons.
Our final shots are boring movie admin ones — the big names on the cast, including Charles Martinet, who usually voices Mario and Luigi, plus Anya Taylor-Joy as Peach (who we didn't get to see; they're saving her for later), Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong, Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong, Sebastian Maniscalco as Spike, and Kevin Michael Richardson as Kamek.
And the date:
We already knew that, but it's nice to see it in the Mario font, at least. Also, a confirmation that the movie will be in 3D as well, and a link to the official website, which just has the trailer and the (surprisingly low-res) poster, an option to save the date to your calendar, and a bunch of links at the bottom, including filmratings.com... despite the movie not having a rating yet.
Also, although we're sure this will change, it looks like someone forgot to update the template. Teehee.
That's all of the shots that were in the actual trailer, although there was also a preamble which featured Chris Pratt awkwardly and unconvincingly talking about how much he loves Super Mario, and Jack Black being a cool dude, as usual.
Here's the trailer, now that you know exactly what to expect:
So! Did we miss any cool details? What did you think of Pratt's Mario? Are you convinced that this movie will be not a total disaster? Let us know in the comments...