It's time to move aside, Absolutely Ridable Lapras, because a new super-sized Poké plush is (very slowly) rolling into town.
Japan's Pokémon Center is finally giving us the product we deserve by launching this incredible, life-sized Slowpoke later this year. It's 150cm long (so around 5 feet), 65cm tall, and 75cm wide, but most importantly it's a cuddly vessel of happiness. Imagine being this lucky woman giving Slowpoke's soft mouth podge a good squeeze.
They're actually made to order, and orders are being taken for the rest of the month (so long as you have a Japanese address to send it to); from there, shipping will begin in November. As for the cost? Well, it'll set you back a whopping 49,500 yen (around $450 / £318).
For some reason, the product listing says that Slowpoke has a target age of 15 years or older. We're not sure why, or what you'll do with that information, but there you are.
We think it's time to sit back, enjoy some Slowpoke reggae, and dream of having this delightful beast in our home.