Topic: Public Speaking work!

OK, I have a speech today (i didn't start it till today) that I had a week for and I want some of your opinions on it!

Hello everyone! Now, for those of you that don’t remember I talked a bit about a video game called Touhou last time, that hopefully got at least one of you somewhat interested. But today I will be talking about Video games in general, or better yet, why would anyone want to play them. Of course for fun is one of them, but there are actually some great health benefits to video games. Now I know you probably have heard that before and waved it off because you didn’t hear anything about the actual benefits. But now, today, I am here to tell you about them.

One rather amusing and amassing heath benefit that somewhat comes from being able to turn around quickly and shoot a Zombie in the head, translates into better reflexes, so much so that gamers have shown reflexes near to that of fighter jet pilots. Exercise based video games help people whom suffer from Parkinson’s disease. In study, after 12 weeks of playing, over 55% of people had improved balance, gait speed, and longer strides. And, contrary to popular belief, by just Playing videos games for a few hours each day, you can actually lead to a 20% increase, in accuracy during eye chart tests. Now, the health benefits are not limited to just Physical, but Mental as well, Players have been noted to be able to notice detail, 50% better, than those who don’t, good for police work among other things. And also to any parents that are here, Infants and young children have been actually shown to develop thicker cortexes improving there intelligence over the years. And also to those of you that are married here, questionnaires have that 76% of couples that play games together actually say that it has a positive impact on their relationship. There are things that really help students as well, Such as a study of hospital surgeons showed that those who played videogames, where 27% faster and 37% less prone to errors to those who didn’t. Also The federation of American scientists revealed that students remember up to 90% of info when using simulations compared to 10% with reading.
And one last thing before I go, for those of you that have difficulty multitasking, Gamers tend to be able to concentrate on 6 things at once compared to the usual 4.

Thank you all for listening and I hope that I was able to talk a few of you into getting out there, and playing some video games!

So what do ya guys think?

All I can think to say is it's a bit on the short side, but I'm not sure what sort of time-frame you have or what sort of place you're presenting at... I think it really only took me a minute or less to read it. But, like I said, I don't know what the time-frame you're going for is.

Err, what's the place you're speaking at? The context? Because this could either be a pretty good speech (in the right context) or an absolutely terrible one (in a different context).

Also. space your paragraphs. It may be a speech, but you're posting it on a forum here. No one wants a wall of text.

It was spaced but the copy and paste didn't Wanna work with me.

And it's in a college classroom, has to be 1min to 4 min.

Wanna* College*
Kay I fixed your typos, now I give it a B+~

You get a B- >

Want to*

Fixed your mistake now.

As long as you don't speak it too fast, it looks good. It's short, but the speech to the point and doesn't really need to be longer. If it were me I would take the extra time to make a crazy opener and closer, but some people really seem to hate those for some reason.

Well, I got kicked out of the class so now it doesn't matter much :/

Wait... what?

Oh noes little one, there is no wanting when it comes to me, only getting and doing. I am puuuuuurfect and never make mistakes. n_n

Better luck next time!
_{Please be more considerate, towel-boy — TBD}