Topic: Let’s create a world...

Given that football was banned, the world's new most popular sport, boxing/kickboxing, is populated by preening, overpaid and over-styled prima donnas who feign injury at first contact, rolling around the ring and crying foul to the referee. All bouts are decided by disqualification, with the first fighter to convince the referee he is the injured party being named the winner. Cristiano Ronaldo is still enormously successful.

True sports fans turn to the highly illegal and unpoliced realm of cage matches of watching paint dry. Highly skilled athletes risk their vision to be the first to spot the moment when Farrow & Ball period colours are no longer tacky to the touch.

The sport of watching paint dry took on extreme forms, once it was clear that "Jezus" deVito was too small in size and stature to fit on the standard issue cross, and as such, instead of blood, they had to use copious amounts of red paint, which attracted an overwhelming crowd of avid paint-dry watchers, who were only ever so slightly disturbed by Danny deVito's continuous ranting and raving for someone to "get him the hell down from there"...

Philips-Nintendo's CD-less CDi 3 is an enormous success and starts a new console war to see which company can produce the worst voice acting over the highest quality games. In this world the entire script of Skyrim was "I took an arrow to the knee" recited by more than 460 different old women who smoked too much. It won game of the year.

Through meddling of alien visitors, who enlightened him concerning their advanced technical knowledge, Sandler actually managed to get his hands on a working version of the remote control that he used in one of his so-so movies. With it, he continuously rewinds to the statue's reveal, to be able to relive the only glorious moment he ever had in his live.

At one point, he also rewound time back to be able to refuse the job of starring in the movie Pixels...

In response to this atrocity, the Atlantean parliament had Michael Bay banned from releasing further movies in their country. Since Atlantis was the world cultural leader, this bankrupted Michael Bay. So he blew himself up in his own own. However no one was harmed because it was a green screen effect.

The fallout from the Earthbound movie travesty was such that world leaders held a conference for 19 days in a secret site in Yemen. The outcome was the so-called Michael Bay law, a UN resolution that film-makers who concentrate on special effects at the expense of plot can be forcibly renditioned to unidentified black sites around the world and "reprogrammed". Paul Anderson and Milla Jovovish are now notorious war criminals on the run somewhere in Myanmar, where they make appalling CGI-laden movie adaptations of difficult Russian novels.

The most feted directors of the day, such as Paul Thomas Anderson, Martin Scorsese, David Ficher, et al, focus on compelling and profound cinematic renditions of the most popular video games. Scorsese's GTA film series, for example, is feted as the most realistic and gut-wrenching depiction of organised crime.

Illumination Entertainment rules the film industry. Fans are excitedly waiting for The Godfather reboot, starring Ryan Reynolds as Ratatouille and Stephen Spielberg as Jerry Seinfeld.

Security forces around the world have been put on full alert as the continous & unprecedented theft of Kinder Eggs around the world continues unabated...

Ministers are worried that the stolen eggs may be used as a black market currency in order to destabilise - or even replace - the world’s economy. Intelligence agencies have discounted this theory after receiving tip-off that the attacks are in fact a direct response to the renaming of the final weekday as ‘Sanday’ - a worldwide initiative to thank Adam Sandler for bringing joy to the masses.

Agents are still trying to understand the link between Sandler & the choco-eggs, as Sandler has long been a proponent of the ‘otters only’ diet. Sources have discovered however that he eats a 6-egg omlette daily as a cheat meal, stoking fears that this could be an audacious blackmail attempt in order to force a ‘Zohan’ sequel...

The only saving grace of Sm4sh Switch was the DLC, with DeVito voice packs for Pikachu and Sandler voicing a new character, Jack and Jill (Ice Climbers clone).