Topic: Splatoon 2

I still stick to my theory that we only have that stupid theme in europe to suggest to us there's poo water flowing through Snapper Canal. I know it's sewers that transport that kinda waste but really, why the heck would they have chosen that theme otherwise? Nintendo's typically not the one to make such decisions while completely wasted and high on all sorts of stuff at the same time.

I for one am really looking forward to this. We all get our Super Sea Snails and all that toilet paper's removed from Inkopolis Square. Plus, Front Roll Queen Montillo - now that sounds ... eh ... lovely.

@meleebrawler I guess that's true. Still, most people wouldn't automatically assume "vampire", they'd just think that there's some psycho out there that bites people.

Snapper Canal sure is a stage where people fall into water. For now, at least.

I love Snapper Canal. The design of it encourages mobility, flanking, couverage and in general offers a lot of interesting options and variety. Super cool maps.

Also, it has ducks!!!

My main problem with the toilet paper theme is that it's so one-sided. I'm not saying this in some sort of "THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT ANSWER" type way - polls have been done, and over 75% of people go for the 'correct' way. I mean, front facing way. This is going to lead to a lot of front-on-front matches ( ), which is a shame.

Other than that, I think it's hilarious, and serves the role of settling a dispute that I've actually seen crop up in popular culture a few times. Which is really the highest aim of SplatFest, in my mind; inane, petty arguments settled by a load of squids running around and shooting each other with ink. Great stuff.

Judging by the number of 'feel bad for you Europeans' comments I've seen from people in the US, it's probably just as well the Americas have ended up with a less quirky and generally more 'straight' question to deal with.

Not to mention that when Ketchup's overwhelming popularity caused teams to be frequently matched against their own side, large swaithes of the US seemed come to the conclusion that the Splatfest was rigged and started developing weird conspiracy theories, rather than realising that when the available pool of players on one side is 3 times as big as the other, you naturally get more matches with the larger side. If you didn't you'd end up waiting several times as long in the lobby and making no progress towards Ketchup King/Queen.

With front roll/back roll looking similarly skewed, it might have been too much to ask that people had a sense of humour as well as a basic grasp of probability.

(Sorry, I'm being catty now)

Anyway, at least most people in the US seem happy! And... well, at least I'm happy with our bizarre toilet paper theme, and a few other people seem at least reasonably passionate about it. The only country left is Japan, who had their SplatFest seemingly retracted. I wonder if it'll turn out to be Power vs. Stamina after all.

And Snapper Canal! Woo!

Okay, let me lay some useless--in-the-real-world-but-very-handy-in-geek-arguments knowledge (the best kind of knowledge, yo) on y'all. This is one of the times it kinda sorta pays off to be a lifelong reader and writer of horror fiction and folklore. The ACTUAL pay sucks, so I don't recommend it, but anyway...

Bearing in mind that the lore around vampires and werewolves has changed a bunch of times over the centuries, and with many different traditions and modern fiction blurring the lines, there are still some widespread and generally accepted strengths and weaknesses to both monsters. In brief:

VAMPIRES: strengths include above-human strength and speed, ability to climb sheer walls and cliffs, mesmerizing powers, and sometimes the ability to levitate and/or turn into bats, wolves or mist. They can turn someone into a vampire through a completely arcane ritual involving the exchange of blood. Biting a human on the neck doesn't turn them; the human has to drink the vampire's blood, too.

Now for weakness. They are legion. Repelled by garlic, mirrors, holy symbols, holy ground and sunlight. Can't enter any domain without an invitation. Can't cross running water. Most versions of the vampire myth say they are intensely weakened by sunlight, others say it is lethal to them. Also lethal to them: fire, beheading, dismemberment, holy water. Stakes to the heart traditionally don't kill them, but they hurt like hell and paralyze them. Silver also hurts them and drains their strength just by touching them. And finally, most versions of the vampire legend say they need to sleep in grave dirt or at least somewhere underground, as this is the only way they can recover their strength.

That's a lot of weaknesses. Also worth noting, they are hard to hurt but don't traditionally regenerate unless they are sorcerous types, and while there are a number of fictional vampires who were indeed sorcerers (Dracula, according to Bram Stoker himself, is a sorcerer and alchemist), that's not part of the vampire archetype.

AND NOW, WEREWOLVES: there are dozens of werewolf archetypes from every culture, but most of them have superhuman strength and speed (typically above those of the vampire), incredible endurance, and a feral nature that makes them inhumanly good fighters and hunters. Anyone that they bite (and some versions say anyone that they even scratch) becomes a werewolf by the next full moon. Oh yeah, and one more thing: they are practically invulnerable. Transformed werewolves, in almost every tradition, are almost impossible to kill by any means except for fire and silver. Even fire is not 100% effective, as the werewolf has one of the best regenerative abilities anywhere in supernatural fiction and mythology. If it doesn't die pretty much instantly, it will recover in no time at all and be back to kill you shortly thereafter. Silver weapons are by far your best bet in this fight. Some versions say silver kills them instantly (and makes them revert to human form), others just say it shuts down the werewolf's regenerative powers. Either way, it's the only reliable method of killing werewolves.

Only problem is, vampires can't touch silver.

So, to recap: on the one hand, vampires are smart monsters with a lot of powers, but also a multitude of weaknesses and limitations. Werewolves have basically two powers, being incredibly good killers and being incredibly hard to kill - unless you have silver weapons, which vampires don't.

Only a crazy person, or maybe a Twilight fan, would bet on vampires in this fight.

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

i don't play splatoon so why am i here?

@JasmineDragon But who cares about a power you can only use during a full moon, and not even when you choose? For the vast majority of people, it would just be a night wasted running around in the woods. And even though they are practically invincible, the chances of them actually needing their powers while they just happen to be transformed during the full moon is extremely unlikely.

A lot of the vampires weaknesses also don't really matter at all. Avoiding garlic, holy ground, holy water, sunlight, silver, fire, wooden stakes, areas with running water, beheading, and dismemberment isn't exactly hard. Some of them would be pretty annoying, especially sunlight, but it wouldn't be that hard to adjust. The main ones that would suck quite a bit is having to sleep underground and needing an invitation to enter someone's house. Even then, having all those powers would definitely be worth the trade IMO, at least a lot more than a basically useless one that only happens at night on a full moon.

@KirbyTheVampire Actually the belief that weres transformed only under the full moon only came into the folklore in the 20th Century. Earlier accounts of werewolves had them transforming pretty much whenever they wanted to, although a lot of stories did say their powers waxed and waned with the moon.

And I kind of think it would really suck to not be able to cross running water, endure daylight or be in the presence of holy symbols. It really limits what you can do. I mean, I cross over a river four times a day just going to and from work, and see any number of people wearing crosses every day.

@JasmineDragon Oh, they literally can't get over running water no matter what? I just assumed it meant that they can't directly walk through it, and they need a bridge or something else to walk across. That would be a pretty big problem, especially if they're trying to get across with a vehicle or a plane or something.

And yeah, those things would suck, but I still feel like a vampires powers are a lot more practical than turning into a giant wolf monster. However, if it's the type of werewolf where even their human form has things like enhanced strength and speed and whatnot, I'd be down with that, depending on how enhanced they are.

@Maxz I have the same "problem" with the toilet paper theme - it seems to be almost universally believed that the only acceptable reason to hang it from the back is if you have cats or toddlers. Makes for a really one-sided argument. But then you have to factor in the Marina Effect, so maybe it won't be completely unbalanced.

@KirbyTheVampire No, now that I'm looking online I see that I misremembered that part. I had thought that they had to be transported in dirt-filled boxes to get over running water, but I was wrong. Dracula crosses over the Channel in a ship and is able to move around on the ship. His only problem is that he couldn't board the ship himself and had to be helped on board. Also, apparently he COULD cross running water at high or low tide (which, yikes, talk about your completely arbitrary rules!). So you're right, the running water bit is not as big a deal as I'd thought.

Werewolves still rule, though.

@Maxz I agree that it's quite funny but ridiculously one-sided. I'm starting to wonder if they just chose the most one-sided theme they could think of and then gave the more unpopular side to Marina, just to see how many people will choose Marina's team regardless of the theme.

@JasmineDragon Imagine if a Vampire and a Werewolf had a fight in a jewelry shop.

Everyone dies.

That was an interesting read. It's kind of funny that the mythological form of Kryponite is basically 'bling'.

Yup, just as expected, 90 minutes played, only three matches against Back Roll.

Also, a bit unrelated, since this morning, I keep getting the error code 2618-0201 every 2 out of 3 times I try finding a match. My NAT type, both wireless and wired, is F instead of B. My Switch can successfully connect to my router with full three bars and none of my other gadgets has such a bad NAT type. I've noticed that all but Switch get 130 MBit/s, which gets half of that. Could this be related in some way?

So the NA Splatfest is next weekend, instead of this one, where I have 3 days off to play...
Why can't it ever be on my days off?

Back Roll is going to win, I just joined the gang.

I've been getting a stupidly low amount of kills but somehow winning most of my matches anyway. 2181 power after the first seven matches!

I'm noticing a ridiculous amount of disconnects. Also Pearl doesn't seem to like ducks.

Getting disconnected on the results screen: a time-honoured Splatfest tradition. I guess it's a sign of high server load: the game tries to check in with the server after a match, and can't because there's too much traffic.

(Winning streak's very much over now anyway.)