Nintendo got fed up of people saying "Nintendo forgot about Mario" in response to the announcement of DK Bananza being made by the Mario Odyssey team so they decide to have all Nintendo franchises converge such that Mario is the only franchise that exists going forwards.
For example:
Splatoon Raiders has Deep Cut and the player character fail to defeat the final boss so the final boss turns all life in the Splatoon world into their Mario equivalents (e.g. Inklings = Bloopers). After the credits, the intro to Super Mario Sunshine appears revealing that Splatoon Raiders was a prequel to Sunshine.
Age of Imprisonment is a true prequel to TotK (not the alternate reality setup that Age of Calamity was for BotW) but shortly after its launch a new ending via update is added to TotK where Link investigates a mysterious portal with his Master Cycle Zero from BotW and ends up in front of Peach Stadium from Mario Kart World. With no way back to his world, he decides to live his new life peacefully at Acorn Heights.
Viewros turns out to be an unexplored planet in the Mario solar system and around the middle of Metroid Prime 4, a battle between Mario and Bowser disrupts a battle between Samus and Sylux. Sylux disappears for the rest of the game meanwhile Samus' story is sidelined in favour of playing as Mario in his quest to defeat Bowser. After Bowser is defeated at the end of the game, Mario and Peach offers Samus the opportunity to visit the Mushroom Kingdom and she accepts. Sylux is defeated by Mario in the next 2D Mario game.
Multiple other universes including F-Zero, Star Fox, Xenoblade and Kirby were disrupted by Sylux shooting the artifact at the beginning of Metroid Prime 4.
@Grumblevolcano DK Banananza got a lot of help from the Minecraft team on voxel engineering. The Mario Universe has always been the official canon of Nintendo.
Splatoon already has glyphic writing that overlaps in-universe with Animal Crossing and Mario Odyssey's, not unlike the script shared between Minecraft and Commander Keen
Yoshi's Crafted World is made of Zelda: A Link to the Past's yoshi dolls, and you can buy lookalikes online without official branding
Metroid is more of a biological Nintendo R&D project, which is why it has a lot of samples from other game research swapped in and out
Star Fox is canonically in Dinoaur Planet universe, which USES THE T-REX FROM MARIO ODYSSEY, an artifact of genetic licensing also found in Half-Life: Alyx. Research & Development is cooler than we think, that's what I know.
Paper Mario: The next new game in 2028 will return Paper Mario to its formerly generic presentation and a different combat system that's divisive, complete with samey Toads. The Thousand-Year Door remake is merely an outlier. Nintendo and Intelligent Systems might even remake Sticker Star instead of the original or Super just so haters can please understand!
Wario Land: Nintendo finally brings back Wario Land... but Mario is actually the playable character, off to beat Wario in "Wario Land" somewhat like Six Golden Coins. This is payback for Super Mario Land 3 actually being a game starring Wario!
Luigi's Mansion 4: The game features a very cute and lighthearted art style with adorable ghosts, no human ghosts like in 2 and King Boo looking the same as he does normally without his glowing eyes. It might be funny, but there's absolutely no genuinely creepy moments, unsettling music or dark undertones at all. At least it's short like the first game!
Animal Crossing: The next game still has breaking tools. Villagers will complain about you not talking to them even for just two days. Tom Nook still won't force you, but he'll start sending you frequent letters POLITELY asking you to make loan payments. Moving buildings around is still a cumbersome process that takes real world days to complete. And with this being an evergreen game, Nintendo will go all-in with lots of DLC and microtransactions just like Splatoon 4 and even Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream!
Punchout - none of the characters is an outrageous stereotype. That or they mix it up in the way they made Fire Emblem successful - it’s now also a dating game (actually I guess the internet would genuinely go mad for this idea…)
This message was send from heaven into my mind. The angels told me, that I have to tell this prediction of the future to you, if humankind shall be saved from darkness. They called it the "Neon Nintendo Evangelion For Modern Audiences: Nintendo is (not) doomed". Please listen to me, or humanity will be lost.
It is the year 2028 and the world is waiting for a new Animal Crossing game. In February the new title is finally being revealed: Animal Crossing: For Whom The Bells Toll. The biggest and most realistic Animal Crossing world. The people can not believe what they are seeing and get really hyped. Yes, the masses get frenetic as they see, that the attention to detail puts every Rockstar game to shame. New in the series: For the first time ever you can experience the whole game in VR and you get to pet every villager with the new glove controllers. Yes, this is possible thanks to Nintendo's new collaboration with Mr. Hachiya and the company petWORKS. The Switch 2 is not capable of handling this game, so Nintendo announces the Super Switch 2 right after the game reveal trailer. The price, meager 666$. Everybody just laughs and nobody takes the number seriously anyway.
The new console gets released in June. In half a year Nintendo sells more than 50 million units, plus 64 million Animal Crossing games. Everyone is super happy and addicted to the game, even though everyone is weirded out by the game cover, which shows the villager as a sad and homeless person surrounded by rich neighbours, who are living in their villas.
It did not take long for the buyers to find out why this is the case. As this is the most realistic Animal Crossing, every villager has to work for eight hours a day in real time and sometimes you have to work overtime, if you do not want to get fired by your chef. Pretty much every job offer nets you measly 15 bells an hour, which is the minimum wage in this game and you have to repay Tom Nook. The first house, which you are forced to buy in the tutorial costs you 1 500 000 bells. But nobody really cares, because the game is just so addicting and it is fun to make small steps forward every day.
Naturally playing at least eight hours a day will lead to problems in real life. By the way the game is always online and you only get one save file per game, so if you want to start a new game, you will have to buy a new game for 120$. In other words there is no way to cheat or time travel.
The addiction of the people leads to them neglecting their work, sleep and families. The people who had to work in real life and who decided to keep working, ended up fired in the Animal Crossing World. After 2-3 times being fired in Animal Crossing, no one wants to employ you anymore, because you still live in a little village and everyone is badmouthing you, calling you a lazy person not fit to work. By this point you will not even have enough bells to move to the next village, where no one knows you. The only way to get money is by begging your neighbours for bells, because everything in the game belongs to someone who actually has bells. You can not even take food from other villager's trees, or you will be reported for theft.
There are cameras everywhere. The same scenario plays out in-game for most people who work in real life. People get frustrated, but the game keeps on selling, because at the end of the day they still love it and they still want to make it and become like one of the rich neighbours they see everyday in their villages. Every new buyer becomes also hopelessly addicted.
Just as all bells seem to be lost Nintendo announces a new DLC and promises the return of Daisy Mae. A sigh of relieve echoes throughout the world. No further details aside from the price of 66$ get revealed. The DLC releases, it is the most sold DLC in history, 88% of the people playing the game buy the DLC, the rest just can not afford it. In total more than 132 million sales. Nintendo is very happy, but shortly after, the people realise what they just bought.
Daisy moves to your village, but she does not sell turnips anymore. She says she does not want to be a pig anymore, so she does not speculate with food anymore. Instead she decides to help people by taking care of homeless people, by giving them food. If you are homeless, she will give you food, if not she asks you to help her. This means you can travel online to other peoples villages to give food to them. The other players will gladly take the food to save money but deep down they start to hate you because they think, that you are swimming in bells and are just here for the schadenfreude. But all in all, people are thankful to Nintendo and welcome this DLC, because their avatars can survive with the food and they do not have to buy a new game because their avatars die of hunger.
After a while, wild things start to happen. As more and more people are losing their jobs, because of their Animal Crossing addiction, many big cities start to feel, like more homeless people, than people with a home live there. And other wild stuff happens, like planes crashing down, because the pilots were playing the game in the cockpits [!without putting their Super Switches to airplane mode!] Or the police or fire department not answering to calls for help, because they are playing in their break rooms. Well long story short, the world slowly but surely falls in utter chaos and civilization as we know it comes to an end. The world population shrinks from more than 7 billion to less than 10 000 in just 6,6 years. The game series that saved humankind during the pandemic, is its downfall just years later. All hope seems to be lost...
Suddenly a light comes down from the clouds. Is it an angel? Is it God?! No, it is Mr. Iwata, or at least it seems to be him. In reality this was an AI-generated Iwata projected with super highly advanced holographic technology. So highly advanced in fact, that even SpaceSE... äh Team Rocket could show you a believable rocket launch and landing, from and in the same starting ramp, without even having to use a blimp, from which they project what is not there. Anyway, Iwata's hologram is projected everywhere where people are, into the sky and everyone can hear and see him.
AIwata: "Today I'd like to speak with you from the bottom of my heart about jobs". And he proceeds to explain to everyone how important jobs are for our lives and that he feels for everyone without a job. He tells them that Nintendo heard the cries of the people and wants to save humankind. He shouts: "Please understand!" , as he swings his hand to his pants and unzips the zipper, from his pants to the back of his head. Iwata was just wearing a costume and under his costume he is ... a Muppet! Not just any Muppet, to be precisely, it is the same Muppet from the 2015 E3 event. He is Peppy Hare and he has a big, red F on his forehead.
Suddenly he starts to laugh diabolically and then he screams: " We are Team Star F and we will F you all! He continues to laugh diabolically. Iwata's projection disappeares, but instead a new projection appears. The Tokyo Skytree Tower and on top of the tower in typical Organisation XIII fashion, sit three people on their thrones, wrapped in long, black coats.
The first person is... Miyamoto! Miyamoto: "Finally my time for revenge has come! I was your hero, but then you started to laugh at me, because you could not understand the genius of Star Fox Zero!" He throws away his coat and swings his hand very theatralically to his pants, to unzip the zipper. Like Iwata, Miyamoto is a Muppet! He is Fox and he has a big, red F on his forehead too. Miyamoto: " We will turn every one of you into Muppets and when you served your purpose, you will be used as fertilizer for my Pikmin! " The next person throws the cloak away. The person looks like Reggie. ?Reggie?: "My body ain't Reggie!" He shouts as his hand nears his pants, so he can unzip the zipper to show his true self. His true self is Falco Lombardi. The third and last person throws his cloak away, also very dramatically. It is Hachiya: "From this day on petWORKS shall be renamed to muppetWORKS and every one of you shall work for us! I constructed a machine called Muppet 9001 to achieve our goal. Resistance is futile!" He does the same as the others to show his true self. He is... Slippy Toad! All three have a big, F on their foreheads and F is the sixth(6) alphabet. They are Team Star F!
Humanities darkest hour is about to unfold. Many people try to resist but sadly there is one group who does not even a little bit resist to become cute, furry Muppets. They choose to become Muppets by their own will... So they stand in front of the machine, waiting with with shining eyes. A big robotic hand with white gloves, holding a stamp comes out of it. And the hand stamps them with a big, red F on their foreheads, then they enter the machine, you can hear a dull sound which sounds like Ack! and immediatelly afterwards a Muppet exits on the other side of the machine. Nobody was forced to become a Muppet, but the Muppets terrorise the last remaining normal human beings, to pressure them into becoming one of them.
As usual all hope seems to be lost, but then a disappointed but gentle voice from the heavens can be heard everywhere. Yes, it is God! God: "Oh you foolish people, I know you have eyes which can not see, but look at what you have done to yourselves. Walk beside me, in peace and harmony for eternity! But if you proceed to walk this dark path, I will come down to Earth as a soldier of love and peace to help you, while you will continue to be evil. The law of you-reap-what-you-sow will play out and you will surely have to die as Muppets."
Sadly and as usual the humans do not listen to God, instead they ask Google and Gemini what to do. The answer is simple and short: "Get F'd". Every human on Earth becomes a Muppet with an F on their foreheads. The Muppet society is rising from the ashes of humanity. Humanity lost the war against evil...
But what is this? A shooting star falls through the clouds. Or is it? No, it is a warp star and it stops in its way, hovering atop of the world. Two mysterious men stand on the warp star, which they borrowed from Kirby. The two men are Sakurai and Nomura. Sakurai has a white wing on his left side and Nomura has one on his right side. Both of them looking down to Earth, watching the lost humankind celebrating their dark rituals, some of them even making love in their Muppet-Pokémon forms. Deep sadness overcomes both of them as they see this and a lone tear runs down from Sakurai's right eye and from Nomura's left eye. They wish for humanity to be saved. In this moment a ray of light bursts from heaven, through the clouds onto the warp star. It is a warm and gentle light and Sakurai and Nomura feel the deep love of God, they know that everything will be fine now and return to heaven.
As God said he would do, he does. God comes down to Earth like a cloud from heaven. He is riding on top of the Nintendo hype train, which is arriving in a village. Like Cloud Strife he is jumping from the train. He puts his hand to his pants and scratches his two best friends and says in a cool tone "It's over." In this moment a holy sound can be heard, bells from the heavens tolling throughout the whole Earth. God is dressed appropriately in clothes from Tommy Hilfiger, because he said he would come as a soldier and help the people. His top portrays a big number 1 and the text "Ichi the Chiller". But no big zippers or lots of belts. He is also not dressed in black. Yeah, God is ready to be friendly and helpful towards the villagers, so he takes his Buster Watering Can from his back, because as you know, if you truly want to make the flower of evil wither, you have to take care of it and be friendly towards it.
So God helps every villager and takes care of their deliveries with his ultra cool motorcycle. The evil villagers hate his friendliness and one day they do their last foolish act against God. They bury a pitfall seed and make God fall in a hole. God can not believe that he fell for it, but to everyone's surprise he is able to get out of the hole. Since they all worked together against God, they have to pay together for their crimes. The next day their bad Karma makes them all fall in a hole. God is able to save the villagers in his village, but he realises that he has to save everyone else in the other villages and towns. While he travels to Tokyo, everyone he previously saved, falls in a hole again and is stuck.
In Tokyo, God meets the three masterminds of Team Star F, but he is too late to save them. They are stuck in a hole like everyone else. He wants to at least listen to their final words. Fox: "God please forgive me, I just wanted that everyone gives Star Fox Zero another try. I poured so much love and passion in this game and in every game and series I created and in the end I only got hate from the people in return. All I ever wanted was to love gaming with everyone. Please God take care of my Pikmin in my stead." He passes away as white feathers fall from heaven. God forgives him, because he knows exactly how he feels. He gives so much love to humanity and just wants that every human being is happy but as a thank you, they revolt against him and become Muppets. Besides, God played Star Fox Zero and he thinks that it is underrated and gets too much hate.
He walks to Falco's hole and sees that something is off about him. His head is twitching awkwardly and he gives off electrical sounds. After examining him closer, he sees that Falco is just another costume, which he is wearing. Under the costume he is Reggienator: " Please forgive me God, I just wanted for my body to be Reggie". The Reggienator stops functioning and again feathers fall from heaven. God forgives Reggienator, because he knows how awesome it is to be alive and to have a real body.
The last hole is filled with Slippy. Slippy: "Forgive me God, I just wanted for everyone to look cute and that everyone can cuddle with cute animals every day. I wanted that we all work together as a team." As he passes away, white feathers are falling from heaven again and a black cat comes to Slippy and cuddles his cheek. The cat looks very sad, as if her heart is crying. God forgives Slippy, because even the most sane person is on the brink of madness, if the person can not cuddle a cat or a dog for even one day. And he also just wanted to live with everyone like a team, like a family...
Gods heart is full of sorrow and pain as he realises, that every Muppet died, stuck in trap holes. Rain starts to fall from heaven. The heaven is crying, mourning the loss of Muppetkind. Then the Muppets turn to Pikmin fertilizer and it is over. If you ever wonder why Earth is so strangely forsaken in the Pikmin games, it is because the events in the games happen shortly after these events.
Thank God that he is so forgiving and loving, he is the one and only God after all and his love lasts eternally, so he forgives every Muppet...please excuse me, every "human being", and sends their souls to heaven. Humanity is so moved by God's generosity, that they never sinned again. Humanity left Earth and God gave Earth to the Pikmin, so that they can live and prosper there and save those who strand there. In heaven humanity is having Mario Parties, is racing Karts, chills on Yoshi's Island, in short they live happily ever after with Iwata, Miyamoto, Hachiya, Sakurai, Nomura and both Reggies.
@ShieldHero
How can you not know, what you just read? It is written right at the beginning. "Neon Nintendo Evangelion For Modern Audiences: Nintendo is (not) doomed". This is the new gospel.
Brother I know exactly how you feel. I did not want to believe that this is the future, in which we are going. The horror... the HORROR! You have to help me spread the message. If we can convince enough people not to buy this cursed game, we can be saved. But if the sales count reaches 66 million, it will be over.
@ShieldHero
I am writing this with tears in my eyes. Oh, praised be the LORD! HE send HIS angels to me and they told me, that we succesfully reverted back to the normal timeline. In this timeline, we will have the standard zombie-apocalypse, which was foretold in the bible, where almost everyone will fail and burn eternally in hell and only a few chosen ones will we be send to heaven, phew...
Also Sakurai will not die of overwork anymore. And Nomura will not die in a tragic accident involving too many belts.
We did it, I can not thank you enough! May the LORD our GOD bless you!
A new Star Fox game, but it’s yet another rehash of 64 but with even less personality than Zero, and requires mouse controls, as well as the Ring Fit Wheel and Nintendo Labo. You control the game with your feet and charge shots by clenching your glutes
Realistically I don’t think we need to worry about the world ending in some outlandish way 5 or 6 years from now. Most likely things will be gone due to boring common garden variety nuclear war or something equally stupid over, say, the next 3-4 years.
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Topic: Let's predict how Nintendo will ruin the rest of the Switch 2 library (just for funsies)
Nintendo Switch 2 is almost here, check out our guide: Nintendo Switch 2 Guide: Ultimate Resource.
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