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Wed 7th Aug 2013

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notchucknorris commented on Review: Castle Conqueror EX (3DS eShop):

this is the only eshop game so bad a had to delete it. truly god awful. stuck on only the 5th level. im not sure what im supposed to do to get past this brutal difficulty barrier. Level Grind??. this is like "Risk" hyper sped up in real time, and its a horrible concept that just doesn't work. theres not enough time to plan a strategy, and no way to gain any advantage over the merciless CPU opponent. as far as i can tell this is just Level Grind until you can pass. horrible.



notchucknorris commented on Review: Hazumi (3DS eShop):

wow this game is fantastic. i was expecting another boring puzzle game. this is all about quick reflexes and getting it perfect to shave those precious seconds off your time. and the descriptions dont do it justice, the closest thing to compare it to would be "Cameltry", or "KuruKuru Kururin".



notchucknorris commented on Review: Hazumi (3DS eShop):

@pek727 i know what you mean. i bought Mutant Mudds because it was "retro 8-Bit" style, then it was Cave Story, and Bit.Trip Saga, Ikachan, Retro City Rampage, Witch and Hero, Woah Dave, 10-in-1 Arcade, VVVVV, Escape Vector, Mighty Gunvolt, Grinsia, Gunman Clive, 1001 Spikes, Xeodrifter, Bike Rider DX, Shovel Knight, its starting to venture into self parody. but i love every one just the same.



notchucknorris commented on Review: Siesta Fiesta (3DS eShop):

i think its pretty awesome that mojobones released a patch fix within hours of reading that post above. and they actually read the posts on here. i wish all developers had that level of dedication to the fans. COUGH Swords & Soldiers COUGH



notchucknorris commented on Review: A-Train 3D: City Simulator (3DS eShop):

this looks incredibly awesome, and the eShop ratings are perfect 5's allready. this is what we retro PC gamers have been waiting for. Civ DS sucked, Simcity DS sucked, No advance wars 3DS on the horizon, this is the killer app we have been waiting for.

Price is reasonable for a game of this caliper. don't be cheap and support the localization team.



notchucknorris commented on Review: Reflect Missile (DSiWare):

hmmm....not sure about the club nintendo offer.
normally 150 coins = $5
this is.... 200 coins = $5
registering mario kart 7 gave me 50 survey coins, so in other words, you would have to buy 3-4 brand new 3DS retail games, to get enough club nintendo coins.



notchucknorris commented on Talking Point: The Logic Behind Game Boy Advan...:

it IS technical issues.
GBA ambassador games run horribly. native resolution is GBA Micro sized, and stretched looks aweful. yoshi has so much motion blur it makes you sick every time the character moves. and then theres the issue of no Multiplayer. which i suspect is the reason they wont release Pokemon Red blue on the eShop.



notchucknorris commented on Review: Monster Shooter (3DS eShop):

this really is a fantastic game. and the 3DS slider is a Massive improvement over iPhone/iPad's "virtual" touch controls.

i cant understand why this isnt 10/10. graphics are gorgeous. its fun as hell blasting aliens, and the unlockables and weapon upgrades makes it almost impossible to tear your self away, just



notchucknorris commented on Review: World Conqueror 3D (3DS eShop):

i really dont understand the logic on these reviews. i Love Risk, and World Conqueror 3D is GREAT!. Worth Every Penny. the rating seem horribly skewed.

imagine if Milton Bradley announced they were going to release a licensed version of the classic boardgame "Risk" in eShop for $4. RISK fans would say its an incredible bargain and an instant buy.

and yet somehow a fresh take on the classic boardgame with MORE CONTENT and challenges dosent get a proper score just because it dosent have the RISK brand name? ppft. whatever



notchucknorris commented on Review: Swords & Soldiers 3D (3DS eShop):

im with nickwarrior5. the game is still Awesome. the review is WAY OFF!. and comparing it to the Wii version is just absurd, not everybody owns a Wii, and maybe they do and just want a portable version. anyway some of the points in the review are just WRONG,

1. i always turn the 3D off anyway, so does almost everyone i know.
2. multiplayer would be pointless for a game like this, finding another person who owns the same game would be pretty impossible, and at what point would you just pop in Mario Kart, Street Fighter, or Star Fox to get your multiplayer fix?

3. the controls are fine. your meant to use the stylus. the circle pad is for emergency when you need to snap back to your home base, and the D-Pad has slower navigation if you prefer, but on the top of touch screen there is a bar display where you slide forward or backward with stylus to navigate.

4. frame rate is fine. i dident notice any problem. the reviewer dosent realize your supposed to wait for the warrior icon to recharge before creating another one.

5. yes, you have to look at the bottom screen to select items, just like almost every other DS or 3DS game, its actually better that way because you dont have all the icons cluttered on your viewing area.

6. why should i "deserve a medal" for a simple command even a child could perform, go to where the warrior is, then tap the item, then move it over to him and press L. its really not that hard.

7. the action pauses when a dialog box comes up, so thats just a total Lie. also, learn what the items do in a practice run. again, not that complicated.

so yeah, the review is way off.



notchucknorris commented on Review: Arc Style: Soccer!! 3D (3DS eShop):

@Windy wow...just wow. im pretty sure your trolling at this point. FIFA has online. PES has online. im sure there are others im forgetting. why in gods name would we need online on another soccer title, especially a crappy kids shovelware that NOBODYS PLAYING. wouldent it be better to just buy PES and call it a day. heck. add mario kart and RE, and you have your online fix right there.



notchucknorris commented on Review: Soccer Up 3D (3DS eShop):

@Windy good grief, would you shut up about online play. the only good genre suitable for online play is First Person Shooters, so until we get COD 3DS its pointless. granted, Resident Evil Revelations 3DS has awesome online play, but its not a competitive game, and therefore gets old pretty fast.

besides its no good if theres nobody on it, as is the case of ATV Wild Ride, and many others.



notchucknorris commented on Review: Nano Assault EX (3DS eShop):

what the heck is a SHUMP?

its called a "shooter". there are vertical shooters and horizontal shooters. really how lazy do you have to be that you cant just write Vertical Shooter, Scrolling Shooter, or even the full shoot em up..

are you renting your keyboard by the letter?
is there some space limitation?
are you afraid of wearing out you keyboard?

because saying SHUMP all the time make you sound like a total Poser.