User Profile



Fri 16th May 2008

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calculon commented on Wii System Update 4.2 Hits US:

@Sean: yes, the content has broadened but I don't particularly find much of it of interest. The site has become a jack of all trades and master of none. I wish you all the best but in all honesty it's a mess and as far as I can see too much effort is being wasted on half-hearted ideas like the retro section (which is neither broad nor deep in its coverage) and worthless bandwidth wasters like chat boxes

i see far too often double standard when it comes to reviews between different media and frankly news updates are horribly slow compared to other sites like Go Nintendo.

I understand this is probably down to a lack of volunteers but hey, you guys decided to make the site something too big to handle.

Not that it really matters - if I could (and I should be able to seeing as I don't particularly like the idea of my details remaining on any site indefinitely) I would delete my account myself. I've moved on to better things including pushing more Homebrew.



calculon commented on Wii System Update 4.2 Hits US:

@Chatham: The exact same reason I'm hoping to get banned. This site has become the very definition of "fanboy central" I miss the old days when there used to be WiiWare World and VC Reviews. Not only were the sites more personal but they weren't full of raving idiots. Now I just try to piss people off for the fun of it in an attempt to see how long it will take me to get banned.

Oh, and NIntendoLife guys, please fix that ridiculous lack of error checking in your user profile page's website address field. It's embarrassing.



calculon commented on Wii System Update 4.2 Hits US:

@Machu. I'm not going to apologise (Sean can ban me when he's ready)

My Wii works fine too. The Photo Channel does work if you have version 1.1 which I downloaded from the Shopping Channel yesterday. Seems like the original version is borked though.



calculon commented on Wii System Update 4.2 Hits US:

Hey Machu, let me put this bluntly: You're a jerk.

As for this wonderful update and your praise of Nintendo. Tell me why it's screwed up the Photo Channel so I can no longer access images from my message board. Not the SD card, but the message board. Clicking on either option brings up the same message (this card is incompatible) Your wonder-company looks like a bunch of wonder-monkeys to me. Maybe you should ask the Wizard of Oz for a brain and you can finally join them.

I think the only reason Nintendo have done this update is because they've got something big coming and, going by my example of their testing the Photo Channel, they don't want to make it overly easy for everyone to take advantage of another load of poorly implemented coding.

Oh and anyone has the right to do what the hell they want - whether it's illegal or not (not getting into sickening or violent crime here) Most people who pirate games or videos understand what they're doing is wrong and know that they can get into a lot of trouble for it. But they do it - maybe they're don't care, maybe they don't want a front room full of consoles and controllers or maybe, they just want to know how closely (or better) the game looks under emulation. Overall most of them don't need it preaching to and bullying - certainly not by you, who seem to have blown the whole idea of Homebrew into some sort of irrecoverable evil rather than the truly impressive feat that it is.



calculon commented on New Wii Bundle to Hit British Shelves:

Mhahahahaha. It isn't April fools day guys!!! What at top notch deal - maybe i should trade in my Wii with its 160 DLC games and Wii Sports WeSnort in for this wonder bundle and start afresh so I can waste even more money hoping Nintendo will do something right next gen.

I'll be chuckling over this news all day



calculon commented on Stunt Cars Gameplay Trailer:

Looks as dull as ditch water in terms of gameplay, but visually it's quite pretty for WiiWare. I'll pass and concentrate my cash on the VC in the hope that one days some decent racers (other than the Nintendo ones) arrive.



calculon commented on Power Up!:

Finally put the old squirrel into retirement eh? I guess the lack of my 1000 word comments help too, now I've moved back to vc-forums and Go Nintendo Good luck with the site guys!



calculon commented on Spaceball: Revolution Coming to NA on Monday:

I'd buy it but it looks like garbage. Plus I played something very similar for free on my PC over 10 years ago. No sale.

I like the way NIntendo are being painted into a corner by reducing the cost of the console to the consumer when it's blatantly obvious that it's the software that's the major failure of the system. Oh and the hardware (yes fanboys, the hardware sucks too) Oh, and the interface and the online and their attitude.

What's even funnier is when non-gamers taking a stand saying the time of "hardcore" gamers is over and that casual gamers are the future, when it's there - slapping you right in your face - that they have no real commitment to the system outside of buying what is essentially flavour-of-the-year-ware. The Wii is a sinking ship with nothing more than a one line approach to getting sales:

"Buy my peripheral! Buy my peripheral? Buy my ... oh what's the use. Here take it. Take it. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT!"



calculon commented on Metroid Prime Trilogy: Visually Worse Than Ori...:

Heavenly mother of God, the less than impressive water effects have gone! And look - less sparkly things - whatever shall we do?!? Quick someone call Ghostbusters before dogs and cats start living together.

Surely there must be more interesting things to report ... Good fodder for the 360/PS3 fanboyz but really, who cares?



calculon commented on Review: Contra ReBirth (WiiWare):

This game is waaaaay to easy on Normal. I completed the first three missions in under 30 minutes and I've seen a speed run finish Hard in under 20 minutes with only 1 continue on the last boss.

The graphics on this game suck. Not only do they lack detail but they're also kind of blurry - almost like they've been scaled with a filter. The music is once again functional but un-exceptional and the sounds effects just about do the trick.

The gameplay is fairly fast paced and true to the series but the bosses: dear god they are some of the dullest creations I've ever seen and as far as I can tell, there's at least one re-hash. Not that any I've come across have presented much of a challenge.

I'm in two frames of mind about completing the game. Do I want to to complete the game just to justify spending an extra 200 points on an inferior game to Aliens Wars or should I leave it and have a laugh with my friends at yet another quick and dirty remake? Why Nintendo are seemingly dropping the VC in favor of subjecting us to half-arsed rehashes is beyond me. I'm surprised this doesn't have DLC at 200 points a pop to buy the extra characters instead of unlocking them in game.

Final verdict: An un-acceptably easy and short addition to the Contra series with poor production values and little replayability once you've beaten the game once. 6/10 (7/10 tops if you use the usual fanboy glasses)



calculon commented on The Wii Sports Resort Events That Didn't Make It:

@Stuffgamer: Whatever. Your use of the past-tense suggests that the game has a very limited life-span which tallies with my experience.

My copy was in my Wii for three days total - the third being forced - and has sat on a shelf for the past two weeks waiting for trade-in. I'm guessing I've spend several hundred hours on the original Wii Sports in case you think I'm a hater.

The sword fighting game required zero skill - in fact my only desire was to get to the end as soon as possible. The island flyover became an exercise in labored searching and Frisbee Golf sucks. Period.



calculon commented on The Wii Sports Resort Events That Didn't Make It:

Outside of golf, bowling and archery it's not like any of the other activities were that good anyway and you already got very playable versions of golf and bowling in the first Wii Sports package anyway. The rest of the events are garbage of the highest degree.

Anyone who has bought Wii Sports Resort is either:

a) Desperate for a quality game and are now deeply disappointed.
b) Wanted to know what all the fuss over MotionPlus was about - which is probably the most sensible reason - and are now deeply disappointed.
c) Wanted more fun games in the vein of Wii Sports and are now deeply disappointed.

What I meant to say was: Other people who disagree with the above statements may have had a different and entirely valid experience from myself.



calculon commented on Nintendo Download: Contra Rebirth, 6 in 1 Dict...:

Not for the last time I'm truly disappointed with this update: No VC and one over-priced retro game. Where the hell's all the "good" games that supposedly resulting in the restricted VC releases?

Thankfully I'm playing through Wonder Boy in Monster World. I'll tackle Alien Wars later for my Contra fix and save 200 points in the process.



calculon commented on Frontier Officially Announces LostWinds Sequel:

That is the dullest trailer EVER

Hopefully the game will be longer and far more difficult that short and uninspired original. And yes, the game does look 'pretty' for WiiWare but damn those ugly black holes in the screen where the foreground platforms sit are just horrible.



calculon commented on Review: Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 2 (Wii...:

Ugh. The first game's lag and audio were bad enough but now they've done it again? Surely they could have created a large savefile and streamed the content from the Internet rather than limiting themselves to the physical restrictions of the 43Mb limit. Streaming would be fairly smooth and for the type of game, fairly uncomplicated. Plus it would lessen the need to compress / decompress data substantially meaning less strain on the two mice powering the processor.

I guess that's a bit too much like hard work when you're making a quick buck though. Not that they'll be getting any more from me until they re-think their approach to WiiWare Monkey Island. Lazy b*#t&$ds. At the end of the day, that's not the only problem - the art direction sucks too - why they couldn't have stuck to 2D is beyond me. Probably lack of talent.



calculon commented on Wii Internet Channel Now Free!:

It's a good job its free. Worst peice of software on the system and this update really doesn't make that much of a difference.

If you really do use the Internet Channel don't expect it to work with much outside of YouTube. What gets me is how it took so long to put out such a cruddy update. Another pat on the back for wasting people's time Nintendo.



calculon commented on Lead the Meerkats Lesson Two Trailer:

This looks like a truly unusual peice of shovelware. The Wii really nees more shovelware consiering it's the perfect platform for un-exceptional software titles.



calculon commented on Review: Mr. Driller W (WiiWare):

Nice review. I've never really been that interested in Mr Driller but I'll definitely get this when it arrives on our shores (hopefully this week!)



calculon commented on Wii Sports Resort Sales Go Through The Roof:

Sadly I also purchased it and now rather regret trading in four average games for this total pile of tripe. I love the original Wii Sports, but seriously - the boat has sailed. Outside of Archery there really is no reason to rate Resort above 3/10 and no further need for MotionPlus unless you need another peripheral to over-complicate a boat load of half-arsed sporting games and the odd "blockbuster" title (Red Steel 2 -cough)

Pure unauterated garbage that can only come from the money grabbing minds of Nintendo. Whilst they may have taken my money this time I won't be buying their next gen. console if they choose to pursue their current tren of pushing tat as entertainment.



calculon commented on Modern Warfare 2 Could Come To Wii:

@skywake: Personally I don't take any feedback from IGN as testimony of a game's quality anymore (strangely enough, not since the Wii launched) and I'd be seriously worried if most high-end developers haven't managed to pin down a decent way of handling targeting with the IR pointer by now.

I also think the sword fighting section of Wii Sports Resort looks the least appealing of all the games. Then again I think the whole package is largely pointless along with the MotionCludge peripheral.



calculon commented on Modern Warfare 2 Could Come To Wii:

I love the way you guys keep sticking those Photoshopped images up. The dead midget in image 5 still makes me giggle and flat guns and cut-out tree lines went out with the N64 - maybe someone should tell Activision / Treyarch

No way am I getting MW2 unless they take the first one seriously.

@skywake: I'm avoiding Red Steel 2 - just looks like the polar opposite of Red Steel. Instead of mostly using a gun you're aimless flapping your hand around in close combat. Despite the great cinematics I'd say it's going to be an epic fail.



calculon commented on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Wii Details, Scre...:

Well for one thing. I wouldn't trust many of the screenshots. In image 5, the dead guy it a midget if the soldier crouching is anything to go by scale. I'm sure opposition are usually a lot taller - unless you're playing Shrink on Timesplitters 2.

I think image 1 is more indicative of the visual quality Wii owners should expect with the N64 style flat guns and cut-out trees. Unless I'm being held at gun-point there's no way I'd pay over a fiver for this junk. Maybe this will be Wii's first full-priced DLC game - that would explain the total lack of visual polish. 500 points please and 100 points for each DLC mission should be about right.



calculon commented on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Wii Details, Scre...:

Love the near N64 quality textures on some of the models. World at War looked 10 times better than this.

What pisses me off though is Treyarch has said that the only way we'll see Modern Warfare 2 on Wii is if enough people buy this. So basically, that means everyone who's had/got this on PS3/PC/360 will need to buy it again if they want to get the same game they're getting this year in another two years time. Nice.

My question is: "Why waste your time remaking the original - which will sell horribly - when you could have had a crack at MW2 from the start? Do you really think Wii gamers would care if you skipped the first game?"

I know that's two questions. But talk about having little faith in your target audience.



calculon commented on If the PS3 is an F1 Car, the Wii is a Go-Kart:

@JimLad: No way is the Wii pointing to the future. If you look at the picture the kart's only got two wheels - it'd keep going around aimlessly in circles like the 360 (which is fine if you're into NASCAR)

At least the PS3 has two wheels that'd let it go forward. Not too quickly though, I'm guessing (not that it needs to considering the power it''s already got behind it)

It's a good job they're not comparing software libraries. I can imagine these forums wouldn't be too happy with a pile of manure sitting alongside two piles of precious metal / jewels. I suppose you can use MotionPlus to accurately simulate the stirring of the manure though.



calculon commented on Wii to Retail for £200 in the UK:

For the odd person who really wants a Wii now, that must suck.

I'd gladly sell mine for £450 - not that there's actually many Wii games with it out outside of Wii Sports/Play/Fit and Galaxy, Kart and PES2008. I only ever play DLC (WiiWare and VC - 150 games and counting) stuff and Gamecube games (which are actual good games and not that hopeless drivel that Nintendo encourages people to buy these days)

Kind of glad they're shooting themselves in the foot with this one. I'm sure a lot more people are going to go for a console that actually plays games now, rather than pay a fortune for a cripple that only pretends to.



calculon commented on Mario vs. Donkey Kong and Pilotwings Out in Eu...:

Have to agree with warioswoods on Pilotwings being much more fun the Pilotwings 64. The onyl thing 64 had over the original was it was the freedom, but Pilotwings is a lot more challenging and fun as a game.

Good job I'm getting paid on Thursday!



calculon commented on Brand New Rage of the Gladiator Gameplay Video:

@Damo: I'd have gone with Toki Tori instead of World of Goo.

I very much doubt this will be a 9 or 10 game, probably 7 or 8 at best. Still looks like a lot of fun but the style of game in not to my liking. Good luck though GhostfireScott.



calculon commented on Review: OVERTURN (WiiWare):

Wow, there's loads of stuff coming to WiiWare that I need to get and this is tipping the pile already. Hopefully I'll come out in Europe soon - it looks awesome.

Great review by the way, Brad.



calculon commented on Wii Sports Resort Already Sold Over 500K Units...:

I do - I don't want to buy something else to play games that really shouldn't need it in the first place. It's not my fault that the Wii and its base peripherals are woefully inadequate and the fact that Nintendo have once again failed to attract a permanent audience without the need to keep forcing games that require some gimmick to keep their interest.

Like I've said several times, the Wii is my only console but it's well known that right from the start I don't particularly rate it. Eventually, people will get tired of wasting money on gimmicks and gadgets for Nintendo's half-arsed money vacuum. Maybe I was a little harsh - MotionPlus should be categorized as a gadget, which is a more socially acceptable label for a worthless peice of junk that's overly expensive and gains social acceptance for all the wrong reasons.



calculon commented on Wii Sports Resort Already Sold Over 500K Units...:

I wouldn't get too excited about this one yet. I reckon sales will slow pretty quickly after the first month. No way is this game going to be anything like WiiFit in terms of sales.

I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole and there's no way Nintendo are talking me into buying another piece of plastic crap like MotionPlus either.



calculon commented on Rage of the Gladiator Coming to WiiWare:

Sounds like it might be better than Gladiator A.D. which in all honesty looks like nothing more than another tech demo from the house of HVS.

I'll be buying this if it holds up in the reviews. It looks good and sounds solid in terms of gameplay ideas. Good luck with this one guys and if all goes well, I look forward to seeing more of your other games in the future.



calculon commented on Nintendo Download: Driift Mania, The Three Mus...:

I picked up Three Musketeers and will probably get Drift Mania next week. I'm on the wall with Monkey Island - until they get off their fat lazy cheap-ass behinds and learn to program properly I won't be getting it.

I'm loving Three Musketeers by the way - I've only completed the first level but to 98%. Nice boss first boss fight and the game really does feel like Viewtiful Joe.



calculon commented on First Video of myNotebook:

Some suggestions for Nnooo:

1) The idea - no. Most people will find carrying around a pocket sized notebook more practical, not only does the recipient of a note not need any additional equipment but they're less likely to mug you from boredom whilst waiting for you to write something legible.
2.) How the hell does a video that begins by telling someone that they've unlocked a new type of paper inspire your target audience? Is that a joke or is it some plan to brain-wash people into thinking they're actually living in Animal Crossing?
3.) How the hell does 3 minutes of someone writing barely legible text inspire anyone? Shorten the writing part down to - oh say 10 seconds and no-one will care enough what my notebook does and still buy it, but watching 3 minutes of yawn does nothing.
4.) I suggest putting this out for free and then charging people for DLC paper and pen types - and maybe even colours. I'm sure someone will fork out 100 points so they can write in purple.

Can you add pictures? Are there any rubber stamps? Hell - can you even erase things/ Can you send notes to other users or print them out using some obscure Nintendo service or even send them to someone's Wii? How about including tracing paper so you can artistically render any photos you've got on your DSi? Why not include a paint brush where you paint on one side of the paper, close your DSi and when you open it the paint transfers to the other side? Why not add a paint blob mode where you can spot blobs of paint on the paper and then use the camera to recognise tilt and roll the paint blobs around the page until they're used up?

Seriously though, judging from the video, if I were a DSi owner this would be the last reason I'd think of to use it for and I'd rate the clip as one of the worst promotional materials ever.

Just being picky but in image three - which letter are you playing in Hangman? You're missing n's i's, o's and f's from what you've played and unless you're cramming 'do' into one space you've misspelled the company you're selling your product to.



calculon commented on Worms Coming to WiiWare and Possibly DSiWare:

I've been a big fan of Warms since the beginning (sounded a little disturbing when I read that back to myself - oh well) so this should be an instant purchase if the game play is anything like Open Warfare 2.

One little request: please add online play for WiiWare at least!

I'm intrigued with the news of non-Worms based entertainment too.



calculon commented on Nintendo Download: Kirby's Dream Land 3, Twinb...:

God what a crappy festival. Outside of M.U.S.H.A. and Twinbee (unless you've already got Star Parodier) and maybe Bomberman '94 (unless you've got Bomberman '93) there really wasn't much worth looking at.

Colorz looks pretty good, although in all honesty I'll save that one for a rainy day when there's nothing better to buy (next week probably )



calculon commented on Sega Releases Super Monkey Ball Step & Roll Tr...:

Awesome. I've loved every Super Monkey Ball game in the series (with the exception of Adventure) so this will be probably my next full retail Wii purchase.

Wow, it took over a year for me to buy my last full retail game, The Conduit, which sucks so bad it's laughable. Hopefully Sega will pull out all the stops with Step & Roll and make a game that's a true hybrid of the first two in terms of level design, mixed with Banana Blitz's rather nice visuals (although I also like the GC games visuals as well)

I guess there is one good thing about Wii - it does save me money when it comes to buying quality games.



calculon commented on Review: Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My L...:

Just started Chapter 3 and I'm loving this game so far. Had a few tough battles where I was tempted to buy DLC but like the game says, just keep trying and you'll figure it out.

Juding from Bass' comments, Chapter 3 sounds like it will be a real challenge. I haven't bought any DLC yet though and will only do so if I get REALLY stuck or when I come to replay the game as I think the extra features will add to the replay value.



calculon commented on Review: The Conduit (Wii):

Probably the worst review I've seen from you Drake. It seemed very rushed and barely covered the facts well.

Firstly, the controls are completely customisable, secondly human enemies are not limited to basic human weapons (the orange suited guys have advanced guns right from the start)

You also make the game sound overly easy due to the abundance of weapons but I found it to be far from the case in certain missions.

As for the aesthetics, Prime 3 might have been prettier but Retro should be able to produce the goods considering they've had plenty of cracks at thew whip by now.

Overall the Conduit is not, nor should it have ever been expected to be, a great FPS. The market is already flooded with low-grade over-rated shooters so it would have take a miracle and a hell of a lot more time and effort for HVS to produce something so spectacular that it would shut the 360 fan-boys up.

For once, the only thing I do agree on is the score but even then i'd be more inclined to add 1. Certainly using a game like Prime 3 as a benchmark is laughable (I'm not arguing over its true genre) - especially considering for the most part it was as dull as ditch water.



calculon commented on What Nintendo games do you want to see on the ...:

Whoa there Drake et al. Popeye is NOT fully public domain.

Firstly, as far as I understand only the image of Popeye is public domain - nothing was mentioned about the whole cartoon cast, although I'm fairly sure Bluto, Wimpy, Sweet Pea and Olive Oyl appeared within the same year so they should be.

Secondly. the public domain status only applies to Europe, as under US law Popeye is still copyright until 2024. They protect copyright for 95 years instead for 70 years (for Europe) from the date of first publication.

Shouldn't affect the game coming out, but just thought I'd put in my two cents as usual.