Wii U eShop Game Reviews
Review Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures (Wii U eShop)
Better than a buffalo diarrhoea dump in your ear
Making a game that is in itself a callout to awful games has to be like preparing fugu: you definitely want to retain the essence people are paying for, but leaving the wrong parts in is going to be lethal. You have to be crappy without being crappy, and if anyone can pull this off with zen-like...
Review Mario Kart DS (Wii U eShop / DS)
Flawed perfection
The 2005 hit, Mario Kart DS, marked a new era for Nintendo and its long-running racing series. This particular iteration was released during a transitional phase for the company, with Nintendo beginning to rethink the conventions of gaming. Mario Kart on the DS mirrored this fresh approach, incorporating a portable online...
Review Dot Arcade (Wii U eShop)
Tripping the light fantastic
Judging games for review brings some challenges. How can a tiny indie game compare with a Nintendo-developed blockbuster? We thought about this a lot when playing James Montagna and Andrew Lim's Dot Arcade, a small, highly focused experience that keeps things simple in the name of fun and longevity. While there's not...
Review Super Destronaut (Wii U eShop)
Nice space ya got there…
Copies of other games are nothing new on the eShop - in more ways than one. If there is classic retro style or a suddenly popular gamefad, you can expect someone to throw their own version of it into the ring as well. Whether it comes off as a respected homage or a cheap cash-in is left to the developer, but Super...
Review PENTAPUZZLE (Wii U eShop)
PENT-UP PUZZLE
There's nothing inherently wrong with simplicity. When used well, a minimalist approach can be a refreshing way to get back to gaming basics; the recent 50 Pinch Barrage!!, which charmed us with its intuitive and straightforward approach to Pitfall-style platforming, stands as an excellent example of this. However, with the popularity...
Review Elliot Quest (Wii U eShop)
Quest for glory?
The Nintendo Web Framework has opened the floodgates for indie developers on the Wii U, and while the HTML5-based system is flexible and user-friendly, the games that have been released so far have been mediocre at best and atrocious at worst - until now. Ansimuz Games and PlayEveryWare's Elliot Quest, created with the Impact...
Review Trine Enchanted Edition (Wii U eShop)
First time Trine
The Trine series is a bit of an anachronism on the Wii U. The first game we received, Trine 2: Director's Cut, was not only the sequel, but an expanded version of it. Over two years later we now receive an enhanced edition of the original in Trine Enchanted Edition. Chalk it all up to magical dimensional tiddlywinks if you wish, but...
Review Don't Touch Anything Red (Wii U eShop)
Really though, don't touch 'em
Games are not often as straightforward in their titles as Don't Touch Anything Red. This simple infinite-runner style puzzle game is a test of cunning, reflexes, and one's ability to avoid touching red things. Though the premise and presentation are simple, and there's not a lot here, this self-explanatory title is...
Review Sky Kid (Wii U eShop / NES)
Bombs away
Originally an arcade game, the 1986 Namco NES title Sky Kid draws hard battle lines from the start, though exactly who the warring parties are is unclear. This quirky game is iconic of Namco's early days and even earned a song and a cameo in Super Smash Bros. for 3DS and Wii U. The action here is a combination of unforgiving and short,...
Review Metroid: Zero Mission (Wii U eShop / GBA)
From zero to hero
First things first, Metroid: Zero Mission is not a straight remake of the original NES Metroid with GBA quality graphics. It's a complete retelling and retooling of Samus' first 2D space adventure, including remixed areas, new power-ups and over a decade of refinements added to the formula. Nintendo has freshened the experience...
Review Kung-Fu Heroes (Wii U eShop / NES)
Everybody was kung fu fighting
Kung-Fu Heroes is a charming looking title for the NES released in the US in 1988 - the comical martial arts game was originally launched as an arcade title in 1984, and was then ported to the NES in 1986 by Culture Brain (formerly known as Nihon Game). The NES adaptation is the second entry in the Super Chinese series...
Review Flying Dragon: The Secret Scroll (Wii U eShop / NES)
There’s not much fight in this one
Culture Brain's Hiryū no Ken fighting series dates back to the 1985 arcade release, Shanghai Kid. The 1987 NES title, Flying Dragon: The Secret Scroll – exclusive to Japan and the US (1989) – took the original concept and expanded on it, as well as paving the way for future entries in the franchise. This...
We're stoked
OlliOlli isn't really a skateboarding game. The skateboard aesthetic provides a lovely minimalist visual style to navigate the tiny pixel skateboarder through, but there's no open world to explore and experiment in, nor is it filled with free-form choices. Mechanically rock-solid, OlliOlli is a 2D on-rails experience with meticulously...
Review GravBlocks+ (Wii U eShop)
Try to keep up (and down, left, and right)
Falling block puzzlers aren't necessarily a rare experience these days. What isn't commonplace, however, is such a puzzler that throws a twist on the formula that enhances and refreshes the experience. GravBlocks+ (itself an enhanced version of the Android game GravBlocks) tries its hand at mixing up the...
Review Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Tipping Stars (Wii U eShop)
We tip our hats to you
Despite Mario and Donkey Kong largely getting along with one another these days, there's still the ancestral drive to kidnap women in red dresses burning in DK's DNA, and so we get the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series. The latest entry, Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Tipping Stars has ditched the different 3D perspective of the previous...
Review Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones (Wii U eShop / GBA)
Worth fighting for
While Fire Emblem is a franchise with a long history in Japan, its track record in the West is far more condensed; in fact Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones on Game Boy Advance was only the second series entry to arrive in the West. The first Western arrival is also available on the Wii U eShop, meaning that there's a useful...
Review Pac-Attack (Wii U eShop / SNES)
When worlds collide
Originally a multi-platform release in 1993, Pac-Attack – otherwise known as Pac-Panic – was derived from Namco's arcade game released in the previous year, Cosmo Gang the Puzzle. On first glance, Pac-Attack may appear to be an average run-of-the-mill puzzle game with one of the prominent videogame characters of the time...
Review Mappy-Land (Wii U eShop / NES)
Cats vs. Mouse
Mappy, a plucky mouse detective, is one of many arcade game mascots lost to time, having only starred in a few games over the years. While the character has guest-starred in various Namco games over the years (and makes a clever cameo in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS), the biggest role Mappy's had is in a web series from the...
Review Paparazzi (Wii U eShop)
Snap judgement
Indie developers seem to be doing a great job of delivering games with local multiplayer to the Wii U eShop as of late. From Chariot to GetClose: A Game for RIVALS, Sportsball to Guacamelee! Super Turbo Championship Edition, affordable — and quality — entertainment with the intention of livening up a living room is readily...
Pure and Simple
Every so often a video game will emerge which further dissembles the division between games and art; it's fair to say that Blek is one of those titles. Its miminimalistic, unsophisticated presentation and engaging puzzles garnered it resoundingly high praise following its release on iOS and Android, and resulted in developer Kunabi...
Review Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts (Wii U eShop / GBA)
Slightly less than super Ghouls ‘N Ghosts
Once upon a time when arcades were vibrant and 2D platform games were all the rage, Capcom struck gold with the original Ghosts 'N Goblins. The legendary tale of Sir Arthur and his quest to save Princess Prin Prin from demons was a huge success, but also notoriously difficult. Super tough from the off, in...
Review Rock 'N Racing Off Road (Wii U eShop)
Not-So-Super Off Road
EnjoyUp was clearly inspired by the classic arcade racer Ivan "Ironman" Stewart's Super Off Road when developing Rock 'N Racing Off Road, an old-school, top-down racer. But while the game looks like a modern update to Super Off Road, it's not nearly as fun or memorable. Unfortunately, Rock 'N Racing Off Road is a disappointing...
Review Puzzle Monkeys (Wii U eShop)
Fun as a barrel thereof
Ever since Tetris introduced gamers to the joys of skydiving shapes, block-dropping puzzlers have fallen into place on nearly every console and handheld under the sun, and for good reason: they're simple to learn, endlessly replayable, and - when done right - utterly addicting. Seeking to fill a simian-sized gap in the Wii...
Review Mega Man Battle Network 2 (Wii U eShop / GBA)
Casting a wider net
The world as portrayed in the Mega Man Battle Network series is so ridiculous and yet so outlandishly awesome that it's hard not to adore. In our boring reality, if your toaster doesn't work it means you're pretty much out of luck. In the Battle Network world, it more likely means you need to upload your virtual companion into...
Review Dolphin Up (Wii U eShop)
Tony Hawk's Pro Porpoise
Every once in a while, a game comes along that you didn't know you wanted. Rawkins Games' Dolphin Up is one such title, providing a surprising amount of entertainment with an extremely simple concept. Being a port of a mobile title from a few years ago, its simplicity comes as no surprise — and, with a few more additions,...
Review Blaster Master (Wii U eShop / NES)
Master your blast!
The latest eShop release of Sunsoft's 1988 NES classic, Blaster Master, marks the title's third Virtual Console appearance. With the game previously sighted on the Wii and more recently the 3DS, now it's the Wii U's turn to host this side-scrolling and top-down platform shooter that has since spawned an entire series. The western...
Review Tri-Strip (Wii U eShop)
Geometry Bores
Tri-Strip is a puzzle game about placing strips of triangles into a grid to make squares, which clears up space and nets you points; using the stylus, touchscreen and a single button, you can strategically drag, drop and rotate pieces into open spots. It's a style of play that requires a little bit more hesitation and thought when...
Review Mega Man Zero 2 (Wii U eShop / GBA)
Zero times two
Just one year after Mega Man Zero, Inti Creates released a sequel for the Game Boy Advance spin-off. That might sound a bit quick, but Mega Man Zero 2 is no mindless cash-in. It took the sturdy foundation set by its predecessor and built upon it in impressive ways, while also smoothing out the rough edges. On top of that it wove an...
Review Frenchy Bird (Wii U eShop)
Avian aggravation
From the title alone, it's pretty easy to tell that Frenchy Bird is yet another in the line of Flappy Bird imitators released on the Wii U eShop. Yet whereas some of its competitors have been content to merely replicate the feel of the original, Frenchy Bird makes the bold move of replicating it with personality. Goofy music,...
Review Citizens of Earth (Wii U eShop)
Citizens, Unite Up!!
ATTENTION ALL RESIDENTS OF THIS FINE, BLUE PLANET WE CALL EARTH! Permit me a moment and I'll show you that role playing games don't all have to be about swinging swords and finding mystical artifacts. They don't have to use that tired old fantasy setting we've grown so used to, or even star a typical protagonist! Here, your...
