(DSiWare)

Flashlight (DSiWare)

Game Review

Flashlight Review

Europe PAL Version

Posted by James Newton

Lights on, nobody's home

There can be no more baffling title on DSiWare than Flashlight, a collection of three different "utilities" for the DS's dual screens: it makes the reams of clocks and calculators look like gaming gold.

First up is a flashlight function, that lets you light both screens in a range of colours. If you can think of a situation where it might be important to display two lime green rectangles, you're certainly doing a lot better than us. As with both other utilities, you can choose to illuminate both screens or just one, for those times when the combined brightness of two DSi screens might be just too overwhelming.

Next up is warning light, which flashes the screens red and black, presumably to warn people away from buying this application. There's no ability to change colour, flashing speed, add a warning message or customise any aspect of it at all. It just flashes red and black: that's it.

Compared to that, the final SOS feature is astonishingly useful in that it at least flashes a message, albeit in Morse code. Again, there's no customisation, just SOS flashing over and over again.

There's no two ways about it: Flashlight is an almost complete waste of time and money. The flashlight function itself could be ably replicated by sitting the machine on its opening menu screen for a while, although as this offers a choice of colours it has the slight edge over a real flashlight in that regard. As for the other two options, it's extremely unlikely you'll ever find yourself in a situation where your only method of communicating your perilous state is via the DSi, but if you regularly find yourself in dangerous positions with only a portable games console for company it might be a worthy investment.

Conclusion

Do not download Flashlight unless you're anticipating a blackout, a camping trip going horribly wrong or an opportunity to prove to a friend or loved one how foolish you are. Yes, it functions as a flashlight, a warning light and an SOS signal, but unless you need to illuminate something a couple of feet in front of you you'll find it lacks the power to be especially useful. You may feel like downloading this for a joke, but don't: the joke is very much on you.

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User Comments (115)

Sylverstone

#5

Sylverstone said:

No no no James, you're doing it wrong:

Flashlight sucks. Period. Am I really supposed to pony up 2 bucks for this? Hell to the no.
0/10.

moomoo

#8

moomoo said:

You guys should develop a star system that goes from -1 to 11 just to give this game a -1 and to give TWEWY an 11.

HipsterDashie

#9

HipsterDashie said:

I downloaded this whilst on a cruise, but then it sank and I was the sole survivor, trapped on a desert island. Luckily I grabbed my DSi whilst the ship was sinking, and the SOS light worked like a charm! A bunch of lovely gentlemen with beards, wooden legs, hooks and parrots have invited me on their ship to dinner. What good luck! I can't wait to see what's on the menu! Thanks, flashlight!

theblackdragonAdmin

#12

theblackdragon said:

You guys should develop a star system that goes from -1 to 11 just to give this game a -1 and to give TWEWY an 11.

Best. Idea. EVER.

Faildude

#14

Faildude said:

Why the hell did this get a 1? There was NO effort put into this. Also the idea is bad since the screen shines without wasting 200 points on that application.

Tattis

#15

Tattis said:

Wow, when someone posted about this on the forums, I thought it was just some sort of hack someone made for giggles. I never figured it'd be something actually available on DSiWare.

And, I have to say, giving this 2 stars certainly makes anything rated with 1 star look all the more worse. ;)

RaylaxStaff

#17

Raylax said:

fffff ahahahaha. The best thing is you can buy a cheap torch for considerably less than that.

Monix2598

#18

Monix2598 said:

no no nope. this game should be under the "games that suck" category and this game deserves a 0/10. why did it get a 2/10?

King_Elemento

#22

King_Elemento said:

I've been using my DS for this purpose without this since I first got it. No need for this.

Although I guess it should get a 1/10 for providing multiple colours and the Morse Code thing. Definitely not 2/10 though.

KnucklesSonic8

#23

KnucklesSonic8 said:

I figured it would be a 1/10 too!

"....if you regularly find yourself in dangerous positions with only a portable games console for company it might be a worthy investment." - Thanks for this line. Was good for a laugh! :D

@SoulSilveR: Lol!

Terra

#26

Terra said:

Wow... I can't believe this is getting a sequel. I mean honestly...

SmaMan

#27

SmaMan said:

Better get this now, I can see them wanting to raise the price once the DSi XL comes out... since it will become a few inches more useful.

Or here's an idea, go buy the FREE flashlight application on iPhone!

Stuffgamer1

#33

Stuffgamer1 said:

"Although I guess it should get a 1/10 for providing multiple colours and the Morse Code thing. Definitely not 2/10 though."

Given than 1/10 is absolute bottom-rung, I'd say the reasons you listed are what bumped it to the "illustrious" 2/10.:D

Horrible app, hilarious review. Cheers, Prosody!:D

shake_zula

#34

shake_zula said:

Anything that could possibly save your life, no matter how improbably, surely cannot be awarded 1/10. Excellent review.

JayArr

#35

JayArr said:

O.o I think I would buy this just in case of emergencies.

Though, I would probably be more inclined to play Pokemon until froze to death than waste my DS battery on a S.O.S. light.....

AVahne

#36

AVahne said:

this should've been a free app
people would have a real flashlight if they were to go to camping or something, so why need this?

Shiroyu

#37

Shiroyu said:

Hmm, how do you beat the third boss? I found the hidden item but I still can't win.

Impresario

#38

Impresario said:

Everyone just start developing their own apps and give them a break. You don't like it don't buy it. Stop trolling =P

Ashflow

#40

Ashflow said:

Nintendo should release this exact same thing but better and for free. That would be hilarious and it'd teach developers like Kaasa THE Solution to make thinigs that are not cheap (I guess it's cheap in both ways) cash GAME making 'apps'.

SmaMan

#44

SmaMan said:

@Impresario
Well, how much work actually went into developing this app? It doesn't take very many lines of code to make the screen turn white. Heck, my dad developed an app like this on the C64! Except it did more colors... and shapes!
But you're right in the fact that we should vote with our wallets and buy other games that took slightly longer than 5 minutes to make.

James

#45

James said:

I couldn't really give it less than a 2 – it does what it says on the tin and may, however improbably, come in handy for some life or death gaming situation. Hopefully nobody is gonna buy it anyway, so it doesn't matter if it's a 1 or a 2 really :P

killer6370

#48

killer6370 said:

wht i hav to pay 200 points for this that really some sort of robbing i thought i gett 200 points if i download it, theres absolutely no need for this app i can get a real flashlight for 1 euro so i dont have to waste my dsi charge for this waste and with the dsi theres no need for flashlight because its impossible to use an ap an play at same time

Sean_Aaron

#49

Sean_Aaron said:

I think once people consider the ability to send friends into seizures using the 2nd mode they will realise the value is much higher than advertised.

JimLad

#50

JimLad said:

Is this final proof that Nintendo have no quality control over third party software? Sure it does what it says, but no one should ask for money for such a basic application. Just turn the machine on - light - job done.
If you're camping, why don't you have a torch?

Knux

#51

Knux said:

Wow, just when I thought DSiWare apps could not get any worse...

FonistofCruxis

#52

FonistofCruxis said:

This should have a 1. You said it might be useful but the dsi works as a torch without this, just leave it on the title screen or menu, it's bright enought and works fine.

CorbsAdmin

#53

Corbs said:

When one of you is marooned on an island and need to signal the plane flying over head, you'll be thanking your lucky 2 stars for this app. :)

Jampony

#56

Jampony said:

If this doesn't get one star, what in the world would!?

p.s. Does anyone know how to get past level 100?

Morpheel

#58

Morpheel said:

how come golf last week got 1/10 when it is actually quite enjoyable, and this gets 2/10 when is a complete insult to the DSi?

Gecko_the_freak

#59

Gecko_the_freak said:

I don't know anything about writing code but this game gives me hope that I too can be a proffesional one day!... I cant wait to put my 2 star game idea to the game dev big wigs... it's called "On" the description on the tin simply says "Experience seconds of near fun as you turn "On" on! -that should get me 2 stars but then as an unlockable feature you actually get to turn it off as well - I'm hoping this bit gets me up to 3!

But seriously, great review of this thing - hard to even call it an app - but you'll never convince me on the merits of the 2nd star!

Viper6391

#61

Viper6391 said:

This just has Epic Fail written all over it! Did the publisher seriously think this was a good idea? Let's make a flashlight app even though the DSI itself has it's own light. When are you ever going to have to use your DSI as an SOS signal? It just seems so impractical.

theblackdragonAdmin

#62

theblackdragon said:

@Abgar: the golf game got a 1 because it includes a bug that, when triggered, will render your game corrupted and unplayable. the flashlight app apparently did not give the reviewer any such problems. :3

KingMike

#63

KingMike said:

Someone else seems to have got the same idea I did upon reading the lime green thing.
I take it you can't set it to randomly generate colors, thus turning it into a Nintendo Disco System. :P

James

#65

James said:

You guys do know that 2/10 is still an absolutely awful score, right? Some comments are making out we've somehow grossly inflated this score!

It's misleading to compare this with a game: this isn't meant to be fun, but useful, and as it wasn't all that useful so it got a 2/10. It still works as a flashlight of varying colours (though to increase the brightness you have to exit and go back to the DSi menu!) and, er... I did mention it might save your life, right?

Phobos

#66

Phobos said:

If I WANTED a light, I'd get me a matchstick. I'd be better off than with THIS. :-|

Viper6391

#71

Viper6391 said:

@Kenji510
Wow, and that's supposed to save your life? I would rather have a flare or make a signal fire then have that piece of ****. Also, what function does changing the color of the light serve besides making it look nice? At least the calculators and the clocks serve more of a practical use and their themed.

Viper6391

#73

Viper6391 said:

@Prosody
What? What I meant is that if I was on a deserted island and I was going to signal a plane, I would rather use an actual flare or build an actual fire then use that app as an SOS light. I seriously doubt the light from the DSI would be able to reach a plane way up high in the sky unless you were able to get high enough to signal it by climbing a tree or hill so they can see. Also, when would you ever be stuck somewhere where the only thing that can save you is this app from your DSI? Sorry if I did not make that clear to you. Although, that would be pretty cool if a DSi could launch a flare, except how would you do it?

Machu

#74

Machu said:

Fortunately I have my phone for fumbling through the dark, otherwise this would be an essential purchase.

TKOWL

#75

TKOWL said:

How can this have the same ammount of comments as Pikmin 3 being announced?

Bobpie

#78

Bobpie said:

You guys should develop a star system that goes from -1 to 11 just to give this game a -1 and to give TWEWY an 11.

YES@

Stuffgamer1

#79

Stuffgamer1 said:

@Prosody: Why would you have to back out to the main menu to change the brightness? Wouldn't the select + volume buttons shortcut work just fine?

Octacore

#80

Octacore said:

WARNING! THIS APPLICATION MAY CAUSE SEIZURE! STRICTLY FOR ADULTS ONLY! KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'S REACH!

Sean_Aaron

#82

Sean_Aaron said:

Why does it keep a little rectangle in the corner? Surely that's going to cause screen burn-in!

Percentful

#84

Percentful said:

I don't need this. I naturally glow 5 different colors, and I can shoot flares from my ears.

RyuZebian

#85

RyuZebian said:

@Prosody Seriously?
Anyway, joking on your own expense is a sign of good character right? Everyone who has a good character should download the app and have a jolly time with their friends at their own expense! Ahh, the innovation, just like the inventors of the iphone app "Hallelujah button"... I can totally see how this deserves 2 stars! ;)

Starkiller

#88

Starkiller said:

Hah. And Nintendo actually approved this. I bet it was just so we could have a laugh.

James

#90

James said:

I used this as it was intended last night. I tripped over. I now think perhaps I overrated it by four points.

Viper6391

#91

Viper6391 said:

@Prosody
Did you hurt yourself? What did you trip over? I hope you didn't hurt yourself. It just proves how really useless this app is and I think this thing should've gotten a negative score. Although, I must say that is pretty funny regarding what happened when you tried to use it. As long as you don't hurt yourself.

Gogata

#94

Gogata said:

On the Nintendo website it says you can send an SOS message when you are stranded on an island. Ok WTF, how can you project something more than a few feet away with the DSi Screen _...

Gecko_the_freak

#96

Gecko_the_freak said:

@VIPER6391: I would rather have the coast guard read my mind than use this app!... or wait even better, I'd rather have a luxury boat full of gorgeous women come and rescue me than use this app!... and both of these options are at least as likely to save your life, if not more so than this app!

@PROSODY: If you injured yourself while using an app that is essentially designed to prevent you triping over such things you may be able to sue them :P

I haven't bought or played the game but Im feeling I have garnered enough amusement from it to warrant buying it!.... It makes me feel dirty, like I just pirated it or something!

grumblegrumble

#97

grumblegrumble said:

OK Guys... you know that this app will be really popular amongst the dsi's target audience, right? like... 5 to 14 year olds... I expect many if not all of you are way above that age, so chill and let the little kids play.

GammaGames

#98

GammaGames said:

If it was free, i might take up some of my memory. But, since its $2, I say the flashlight's batteries should die.

bro2dragons

#99

bro2dragons said:

i just think it's hilarious that there are "credits". hahahahaha... [We get the picture - mod team]

HanuKwanzMasBif

#100

HanuKwanzMasBif said:

This review is surprisingly generous. This sounds like the worst thing since the Virtual Boy. Scratch that, Virtual Boy had a Wario Land game. Worst thing since Pac-Man for the Atari 2600. No, worse than that, at least Pac-Man 2600 is based off of a beloved franchise. Hmm...

Bass_X0

#105

Bass_X0 said:

you know that this app will be really popular amongst the dsi's target audience, right? like... 5 to 14 year olds...

Have fun with it, American kids. I think my five year old nephew would get bored of this after about 30 seconds. 14 year olds... even eight year olds would be mocking it just as hard as everyone else here.

LuWiiGi

#106

LuWiiGi said:

I actually know a guy who DLed this, and the scary thing is, it wasn't for a joke. He genuinely believed that it would be a worthwhile purchase.

Wolfcoyote

#107

Wolfcoyote said:

.........wow.

Thank God we're now getting games on the opposite end of the spectrum (meaning good) like Shantae and Cave Story to circumvent atrocious releases like this. I just can't stop laughing at the comments! I can see if you were trapped in a mine or something then yeah, but you'd have the sense to have a heavy-duty flashlight and some form of communication. This DL just...just...sucks.

MeloMan

#109

MeloMan said:

Man, jokes on me or not, I want to d/l this just so I can't have a truly suck game, lol. I gotta go over the fails once more:

Flashlight: even on the brightest setting, only "white" would be the most useful... unless I guess, you uh, were... setting a light to go with a mood, like spooky green at Halloween, or Red during Valentine's Day... yeah, that's it, lol

Warning Light: I can see my car broke down, I put the DSi on the ground, I get road side assistance, and the truck either runs over my DSi or a bunch of water and mudd get on it, utterly destroying my DSi

SOS Light: ... ... I could teach myself how to do SOS in Morse code, what do I need the DSi doing it for? :P

paperskyx

#110

paperskyx said:

This review is hilarious. I loved it.
I think "Flashlight" is the most baffling release EVER. I was in disbelief that people actually buy this. It's laughable.

goldboy27

#111

goldboy27 said:

if u think u need a flahlight in advance carry one around or use the light on ur dsi thats FREE hear me FREE

ShadowDX1

#113

ShadowDX1 said:

How to turn on a Flashlight on your DSi FREE!!!

Step 1: Turn on your DSi
Step 2: ....Yep thats pretty mutch it

@James Newton
Actually you dont need to go back to the DSi Screen to turn the brightness up or down. Just press Select hold it and press volume up or down

bezerker99

#115

bezerker99 said:

Ha, I downloaded it and use it to read while in my bed (since my reading light has broken). But...Flashlight sux. :

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