Miss Enormo-jugs finally tries her luck on a Nintendo system and finds herself upstaged.

Lara Croft is responsible for making games cooler. There is no doubt about that. Sporting a pair of mammaries bigger than a couple of megalodons in a two way death-pact, she was a character informed by a burgeoning mid nineties lad culture. Don't let any woman with aspirations of girl power tell you she's a feminist icon because it's bollocks. She was posh totty designed to get geeks who never knew what a girls bum looked like all hot and bothered. Inexplicably, she also somehow made games a little bit more acceptable to people who didn't normally play games. Which is nice. It's just a shame then that her games were, for want of a better word, shite. There's no doubt that the Tomb Raider games had atmosphere and character in abundance, but that's no good when the main character was more difficult to control than a drunk in an off-license. Despite this they sold like proverbial hotcakes, spawning countless sequels. One of them, 'Tomb Raider II,' was almost good.

If you haven't played any Tomb Raider games before now, here's a little introduction. Tomb Raider see's you assume the bountiful mantle of Miss Lara Croft, an English aristocrat with breasts, as she canters around tombs and other areas filled with traps and baddies that want to kill her and her breasts. With her breasts, she traipses her way around these tombs and caves in order for her and her breasts to acquire ancient artifacts. Whilst this is the sole aim of the game, her and her breasts normally have some baddy bent on world domination to hold at bay. Naturally, her and her breasts triumph everytime and save the day. Breasts.

Ten tears later, the big-breasted minx is back in 'Tomb Raider: Legend.' Boasting considerable production values, (including getting Keeley Hawes as the voice of the posh slag) and a bit of an overhaul, it initially seems fairly good. It's much easier to control, looks pleasant and -a first for the Tomb Raider series -it seems to have moved with the times. Now we have Resident Evil 4 style prompt commands to keep one on one's posh toes during cut scenes, and a more fluid control system reminiscent of another privileged ponce, albeit of Persian heritage. It's nice to see that she doesn't move around like she has a dump in her pants as well, as she's the most athletic and acrobatic she's ever been. Aesthetically everything seems in place. It's solid, does everything it's meant to and rattles along at a fair old pace. So why is it getting a distinctly average review score?

Despite being the best entry (arf!) in the series for about 10 years, 'Tomb Raider: Legend' is simply reaaaaaally dull. The villains are dull, the environments are dull, the weapons are dull, the main character is dull and even the front cover on the box is dull. Everything about 'Tomb Raider: Legend' is mired in turd brown dullness. If it could speak, it would probably tell you about it's favourite James Blunt song, or why Mazda's are excellent cars. Yet it wouldn't be seen as dull 10 years ago. So what's changed?

'Tomb Raider: Legend' just has the misfortune of being released at a time when third person action adventures are really beginning to come into their own. It also has the misfortune of being nowhere near as good as the trendsetters. For one thing, there's the 'Devil May Cry' series. Boasting character, playability and a kaleidoscopic attack of the senses that our favourite inbred posh girl would kill for, it's a sign that games have moved on from just shuffling around in a shitty temple. There's also 'God of War,' a game that has a feral intensity and sense of scale that Tomb Raider just doesn't have, and never will.

Finally and most significantly, there's the 'Prince of Persia' series. Seeing as 'Tomb Raider' took it's inspiration from the original 'Prince of Persia' game, it's only fitting that Lara Croft gets her curvaceous arse handed to her by the platforming nous of the updated Prince. This is why 'TR:L' fails. The 'Prince of Persia' series has rendered every Tomb Raider game redundant, simply by doing everything better. It looks, plays and feels much more accomplished than this hackneyed dullfest. It even has a more sympathetic lead character, if that's your bag. As it stands 'Tomb Raider: Legend' feels like a really rubbish version of the new 'PoP' trilogy. Even the chink in the armour, 'Warrior Within' boasts set-pieces and gameplay that 'Tomb Raider: Legend' is just aching to emulate.

'Tomb Raider: Legend' simply feels very old. No matter what the developers have tried to do to give it a shot in the arm, it still feels like it's about to keel over and evacuate it's bowels at any second. It's the Staind to 'PoP's' Led Zeppelin, the Linkin Park to 'DMC's' Slayer. It does nothing remarkable, and unless it does something drastic with the gameplay or gives you the option of making her run around without a top on, it'll find itself a target in the coming years as an example of a game that personified boredom.

So! 'Tomb Raider Legend.'It looks nice, plays nice, and passes the time nicely. But in an age of gunslinging devil slayers, misanthropic spartans, and acrobatic time controlling aristocrats, is a nice posh woman with large tits really going to hold your interest? Actually, don't answer that.

If you really feel you need to play a Tomb Raider, go for this one. It's easily the best. But clever sods like you and I should go for any of the Prince of Persia games. They are the parkour to Tomb Raider's light jog.

Dan