Feature: Bizarre Nintendo Life Search Results - Volume 2
Posted by James Newton
"But I still haven't found what I'm looking for..."
In November 2011 we brought you a sample of the most bizarre Nintendo Life search results, and now we're over halfway through the year (and our current editor ready to leave) we think it's time to dive into the log files again to bring you more oddball ideas that have all brought users to Nintendo Life.
Nintendo Should...
Turns out that everyone on the internet's an expert in what Nintendo should or shouldn't do. Here are some of the weirder ideas of what Nintendo should do.
nintendo should release old play control: twilight princess
Zelda remakes for everyone!
nintendo should remake a zelda game for each system they make to keep you happy until the new one comes out
But then it wouldn't be Wind Waker, would it..?
instead of a new zelda nintendo should make a new wind waker with new everything
Woah woah woah, steady on now.
nintendo should make a sonic game
By jove, I think you've got it!
nintendo should make games and release them
Big Questions
This is it: the most burning questions on the minds of Nintendo fans around the world.
He must be around here somewhere...
come on nintendo where is mario
No.
does 3ds cause cancer
We're all wondering this.
animal crossing 3ds wtf where's the release date
Streamers come out and it lights up.
what does 3ds do on your birthday
When you buy one.
when does 3ds come to our house
Get help.
why is zelda in skyward sword so hot
Ask the guy above you.
is zelda a boy or girl on a 3ds
Yes, but it'll take AGES.
will nintendo become like sega?
Wii U
Some of the finest and funniest Wii U search results we've had this year from people looking for information on Wii U.
Feline heavy.
could a wii u tablet crush a cat
Not with a cat nearby.
can you play the wii u outside
You betcha.
are developers using the wii u's capabilities
Almost certainly.
are the rumours about wii u fake?
You found it.
best nintendo wii u website
Use smaller words please.
why does wii use text bubbles when kids can't read
Come back tomorrow for the fifth and — yes — final instalment of Bizarre Emails Sent to Nintendo Life.
#1
bezerker99 said:
hopefully the people were able to find the results they were looking for.
#2
Itsa said:
Why would you want to know if a Wii U tablet could crush a cat?
#3
Knux said:
''Is Zelda a boy or girl on a 3DS?'' I...don't even have words to describe this, lol.
#4
TheKingOfTown said:
Is that really what happens when you play your 3DS on your birthday?
#5
Mahary said:
''Is Zelda a boy or girl on a 3DS?'' seriously ?
#6
James said:
@TheKingofTown Try it and find out.
#7
Rawk_Hawk said:
My problem would be my pudgy cat crushing the Wii U controller
#8
RR529 said:
This made my day
#9
Wheels2050 said:
I don't think some people realise how a search engine is meant to work...
#10
theblackdragon said:
@TheHeroofTime: the Wii U tablet is gonna be so awesome it'll be able to take revenge on your pets when they decide to sit on it... knowing whether your cat is safe from crushination is a valid concern :3
#11
LordJumpMad said:
With out James around, who will make fun of our NL users now!.
I would happly take that job of getting other users e-mail, I won't be helping them, just make fun of their flaws.
#12
squashie said:
They are some strange searches! Are these people seriously readers here?
#13
GameCube said:
This article would read better if you put the commentary after the quotes.
#14
TheDreamingHawk said:
I want to beat whoever searched these.
That's the life of a fellow grammar geek like me.
#15
Swiket said:
What if Zelda was a girl?
#16
Aqueous said:
@TheKingofTown - The answer is NOTHING!
Just as strange as the last one @James who may or may not know about crazy ponies
#17
Morphtorok said:
Oh! That must be a photo of Future James, after he becomes the President of Nintendo of Europe.
Also, no more Bizarre Emails after the next one? D: Nooooo!
#18
Knuckles said:
I have climbed highest mountains,
I have run through the fields,
Only to be with you,
Only to be with you,
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for......
#19
craigmoss19 said:
@Swiket erm... Zelda is a girl -_-
#20
Odnetnin said:
The Big Questions were the best overall, but I have to hand it to Mr. "nintendo should make games and release them" — he really knows his stuff.
#21
3DS said:
"does 3ds cause cancer"
I didn't know I caused cancer. If I knew that I would have kept my old DSi username
#22
CaptainSquid said:
"when does 3ds come to your house"
Only at night...
#23
hydeks said:
I think I'm the one that said "Nintendo should make a Sonic game". Sounds like something I would say lol Wouldn't it be neat to see what Nintendo could do with the series? I know it won't happen but whatever lol
#24
Philip_J_Reed said:
This article would read better if you put the commentary after the quotes.
James will keep that in mind for 2013.
#25
Aqueous said:
@Philip_J_Reed - James? He'll be at Nintendo.
#26
James said:
WHAT!
#27
Aqueous said:
@James - What?
#28
TerraBranflakes said:
Aww why does someone need to "get help" for thinking zelda is hot? I could understand saying get help if someone said a horse was hot but this a human thinking a human is hot e.e
#29
James said:
@LazyGamer Key difference is that humans are real.
#30
Slapshot said:
Bwahaha!!! "Could a Wii U Tablet crush a cat?" Hahaha
#31
MagicLink95 said:
Silly people! You're not supposed to talk with search engines!
#32
IAmNotWill said:
This is brillaint. I'm gonna miss these hilarious features.
#33
Tasuki said:
AH man now I am sad.
These articles wont continue when James leaves.
#34
warioswoods said:
@Wheels2050
Agreed. Reading these searches makes me sad for the state of internet literacy. Given how crucial searching online has become in our daily lives, I'd have expected a little better understanding of how search engines work. If you just type in questions and hit enter, you're doing it wrong. By now all schools should probably be teaching a basic understanding of how content online operates.
#35
komicturtle said:
Just shows how stupid people are.
Sorry if I offended anyone in the comments who may have asked these outrageous questions...
Yeh, I lied.
#36
janettocrossing said:
"Why is Zelda so hot in Skyward Sword?"
"Is Zelda a boy or a girl?"
Ask the guy above you
LMFAO!!!! X'D
This should've been done every month... :/
#37
Supereor said:
Oh, finally, I got through all these hilarious comments!
#38
LzQuacker said:
Nintendo should totally make a Sonic game! It'd make the franchise come back from the den of beaten dead cows
#39
TheBigHamlin said:
Is mario a boy, girl, or transgender?
#40
Andrewroxsox said:
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has wondered what the 3ds does on you birthday. Now this article has cleared it up for me.
#41
Marakuto said:
I can't stop laughing at some of these ridiculous searches.
#42
CowLaunch said:
@GameCube
I like it as it is.
"This article would read better if you put the commentary after the quotes."
#43
Nibelilt said:
GANNON-BANNED!
#44
Radixxs said:
Why is Zelda ins Skyward Sword so hot?
#45
BulbasaurusRex said:
@Radixxs You mean you don't think she's hot in Twilight Princess?
#46
MetalMario said:
"is zelda a boy or a girl on a 3DS"
Is this implying that her gender changes on different systems?
#47
FonistofCruxis said:
This was so funny, especially the "does 3DS cause cancer?" question, that was hilarious.
#48
grimbldoo said:
@BulbasaurusRex #45
Her nose bothered the heck out of me in SS
#49
VincentV said:
@Janett That was hilarious.
#50
rayquaza_master said:
So wait, is zelda a girl or a boy? I'm confused now.
#51
rayquaza_master said:
Just trolling.
#52
Electricmastro said:
The guy in the picture looks like Russell T. Davies and David Tennant mixed together.
#53
LEGEND_MARIOID said:
Ultra-funny!
#54
3dbrains said:
When Nintendo bring out the WiiU, what usb port on my Wii do I plug it into?
#55
TeeJay said:
@GameCube I agree. The commentary kind of spoils the joke when you read it before the searches. So I had to try and skip them, read the searches, then go back to read the commentary...though it's a little hard when the commentary is right there.
#56
Fuzzy said:
Great reading, as always.
#57
WiiLovePeace said:
Yeah as some others have said before me I'd read the search 1st then the NintendoLife reply second, so hopefully they set it up that way next time as their in bold headers for each search do kinda ruin the joke sometimes. Otherwise that was a hilarious laugh & I'm quite excited for the last iteration of bizzare emails though it's sad to hear that the article series is leaving NL along with James
#58
Araknie said:
mmm, i see in this search there is not "why Zelda does not play her own game?" that has cracked me up often.
#59
Banker-Style said:
When will Nintendo bring out the next Halo game?
Will the 3DS give me extra room in my house?
Will you give me a Wii U for free?
#60
CommanderAudio said:
That was bizarre.
#61
Onett said:
Due to the lack of structure, grammar and harmony of thought I'm going to guess that these searches were made by children or somebody with a serious mental detriment.
#62
TerraBranflakes said:
@James If people can see bowser in a game and think he's scary why can't people think fictional women are hot?
#63
Link977 said:
How can some people be so... ugh
#64
3DSonicPizzaHD said:
ROFL!!!
Oh man, people can be so stupid sometimes...
I'm pretty sure the only thing your 3DS does on your birthday is replace the date on the folder of pictures you took on your birthday with an animated picture of a birthday cake. Other than that, it doesn't do anything.
"Why is Zelda so hot in skyward sword?"
"Get help."
I couldn't stop laughing for a while...
#65
James said:
@LazyGamer Do I really need to explain that? :
#66
Knuckles said:
Will Nintendo end up like SEGA.
Yes, but that will take AGES.
Don't tell me I'm the only one to notice this
#67
Freak-Show said:
XD @MechaSquid , that made my day!
#68
Happy_Mask said:
@Knuckles Don't worry, someone else had to have figured out that it wasn't capitalized for emphasis.
#69
TheGreenSpiny said:
@Aqueous: WRONG! Whatever you happen to be playing happens. DUH!