Topic: Horrible games you've played lately

A quick rundown of the other 4 games I played on the Xenophobe night.

Captain Skyhawk by Milton Bradley
Okay, appears to be a standard vertical shmup, graphics seem to be a little lacking... **Dies**
**Dies** **Dies**
Oh, the terrain kills you! So its not so much about dodging bullets, it's about navigating terrain.
**Dies**... while dodging bullets.
Again, there's no music.
Ugh, that's enough of this game. Control is solid at least, but you get a really puny pea-shooter type weapon and you have to navigate enemies/terrain to the tune of no music, and non-existent terrain with stupid-looking enemies. No thanks.

Michael Andretti's World GP by Sammy
Opted to start a grand prix since that's what this game's all about.
The top half of the screen is a "map" of the track, along with your position on the track.
The bottom half is the race track, surrounded by grass. There's really nothing else to look at.
This is the third game in a row that has no music. Instead, we're treated to the irritating squeal of the engine.
Well, I did a lap, which took far too long, then decided to go off-track and see what happens. My car stalled out and I was unable to get it going again. I hit all the buttons, ending on "Select."
The game informs me that the practice round is finished, and that it's time for the first race of the GP! There were supposed to be 8 laps but apparently hitting Select allows you to skip forward to the main event.
Now there's a bunch of competitors, maybe this game might be at least somewhat enjoyable after all!
Wow, I'm going a lot faster. Before I was only going 105, now I'm going 240! Turn left, turn right, stop doing anything. The car's still racing. Wait... this isn't me. The computer is racing for me. Hit every button. Nothing.
Wow. Terrible. Next.

The Adventures of Bayou Billy by Konami
Awful. It's a beat-em-up, but the controls are horrible. You can punch and kick, but there doesn't seem to be any way to out-maneuver the enemy. If you hit A+B perfectly, you do a jump-kick, which is really the only method of not getting hit as much. Normal kicking and normal punching will cause you to just lose.
Well, I died a bunch. The fighting in this game is just horrid. Every screen takes forever because jump-kicking (which is way too hard to pull off) is the only way to beat the enemies without getting beaten to a pulp, and every enemy takes way too many hits to kill.

Heavy Barrel by Data East
Disclaimer: This game is not bad.
I actually chose this because I remembered it not being a bad game, just a game that I was not particularly interested in, nor good at. It's a rather run-of-the-mill overhead shooter with a good soundtrack.
It's just a bit too hard, and you lose your weapons every time you die. The only way to get more weapons is to collect keys that randomly drop from felled enemies, and use them to open treasure chests. Only a fraction of the chests contain anything useful.
The objective of the game is very similar to Contra: Get the spreader weapon and try to not die.

Next up: Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road by SNK
Someone mentioned Ikari Warriors, and I have the sequel, so I'm going to play it. It might be awesome, it might be terrible. I have no idea. Let's find out.

you're making LordJumpMad look subtle

I Wanna Be The Guy

Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road by SNK
Hahahahahaha
Anyway, high score 30900. Beat that!
Anyway, the music rocks. The gameplay, not so much. You start out with a horrible weapon, that's incredibly hard to hit enemies with. Luckily, you get 2 more weapons right away. The first is a boomerang that's a little bit better, and the other is some sort of flame-spreader that's way better. It's short range, but it doesn't matter since you can just spam it at all 3 angles in front of you at all times.

My biggest issue with this game is the controls. Turning around is all sorts of awkward - your character kind of spins around a couple times, taking a step or two in each direction, before finally facing the correct way. Subtly positioning yourself is very hard. Also, your character moves very slowly, while the enemies move very quickly. It's impossible to dodge them, which is why you need to equip that flame-spreader and just lay down cover fire at all times.
Then, you encounter these flying enemies that shoot pellets at you. Good luck trying to dodge them! Anyway, I mowed down some of these enemies and ran past the rest. I took 1 or 2 hits, which leaves me with enough health to take 1 or 2 more hits.

I came across a boss that was incredibly easy. I stood in the lower-right hand corner and lobbed grenades until he was dead.
The next part was the killer though. I could see a Key in front of some sort of wall/gate. There were some invulnerable enemies that were raining down the screen. You can't kill them so you have to dodge them. They move quickly - it's nearly impossible to dodge them even if you start moving out of the way the second they appear on top of the screen, because your character is soooooooo slowwwwww. I got hit once, and died right in front of the key
Then, it's Game Over. That's it. You get 1 life, it takes an average of 3-4 hits to kill you, there's no way to recover HP or obtain extra lives.

Anyway, it seems like it could be a fun game with some adjustments. It actually seems like a shoddy arcade port or something, so...
Wait! Look what I found!
[youtube:JBLRMCP0PFc]

Actually, it doesn't look half bad on the arcade!
But here's what I got:
[youtube:-_Svckvr_zw]

Also, I accidentally sat on the title screen for too long (about 15 seconds) after my first game over and was treated to the game's opening scene:
[youtube:dOExbu1mBpE]
If you let it get to this opening scene, you can't get out of it. None of the buttons will let you do anything, you have to either reset the NES or endure this for 4 minutes. I chose to endure (and I recorded about 1:30 of it on my phone because it was so awesome). Not captured in the youtube video: the awesome noises (Morse code beeps) the game makes every time it types out a letter.

Next up: Time Lord by Milton Bradley
Oh boy, another MB game. I've played a little bit of this before, so I already know its terrible.

I'm open to reccomendations, too!

@NotEnoughGolds: Yeah I once tried Ikari Warriors II and it seemed pretty jacked up. Well, it wasn't really terrible but it seemed really wierd compared to the original.

I think playing bad games will be the new "cool" thing to do. I mean I already beat Super Mario Sunshine 100%. I can do anything now!! I think I'll start with something on the NES. Or GCN?

I played this one game my friend talked me into the other day... what's the name... Mario's Super Universe or something? Anyway, it was complete crap. I took it back, and I'm so glad I did. He didn't tell me it was a game for young children.

Metroid Prime 2

Call of duty

Metroid II, mostly because of the Gameboy limitations.

the lst one I played was CoD MW2 (IMHO) and that was last summer (avoided BO because of it)

All Call of Duty campaigns have seemed bland and uninspired to me aside from the excellent first Modern Warfare.
Sonic the Hedgehog 4, while visually appealing, is full of suck.

Anything call of duty. I tried it, it sucked.

^May I ask what you are on?

Prototype and Nier

What????
I would take Halo reach over gears of war and COD easily

Castlevania Judgement has to be the worst game I've played in years. It was just awful.

But just because you didn't like it doesn't mean it's a bad game. It is good. It's just not your type of game. Besides I thought you liked Zelda? OoT3D took me around 40 hours, I think.