Topic: Horrible games you've played lately

Lately I've been catching up on AVGN videos. I probably watched about 50 in the past week, and I felt inspired.

I have, I believe, 86 NES games. A fair amount of these games have not been played or have only been played once or twice, usually due to them being awful.

So a few days ago I decided to undertake a mission and expose myself to some bad games.
I treated myself to 5 bad games.
Here's the first (and all my other "reviews" will be much shorter):

Xenophobe:
Hmmm, a Sunsoft game. They're pretty well known for their quality soundtracks and typically have pretty good game design, as well. See: Batman, Blaster Master, Journey to Silius, Ufouria.
I had played this game once, for all of about 5 minutes, because it seemed terrible. Well that was about 10 years ago, so I decided to give it another shot. Okay, opening music seems to be nice. Looks like I'm beaming to some sort of outpost or something, and I have to clear it of Xenos.
And... there's no music.
Seriously, a Sunsoft game with no in-game music. What?

Alright, gameplay. B to shoot, A to jump, easy enough. Head to the right. There's a barrier, and there's an enemy in this room. Let's get some target practice. There must be a way to crouch, right? Hitting random buttons, and... hey I crouched! How'd I do that? Down does nothing. Oh, it's down+A. Intuitive. I also found out a couple levels later you can throw a grenade (if you've picked up any) by hitting down+A while crouching.

The game seems to be kind of tough. These big guys keep spawning, they're tough to kill, and do a fair amount of damage. I think I'll just run away from these guys when I see them.
Where am I going? I've been in every room, I think. Ohh... the screen is flashing, and... am I wearing a straitjacket?
Oh, the level's over. I never did get past that barricade, but I think I ended up in the same room on the other side of it. Interesting.

In between levels, you're treated to some more quality Sunsoft music. You also get 1,000 bonus points for every item you picked up. The items look like: dog tags, coffee mugs, floppy disks, documents of some sort, grenades, and a few other miscellaneous items.

A few other things about this game:
There are never more than 2 enemies on any screen. When one dies, another appears in a few seconds. Most rooms have one pre-determined Xeno, and one randomly-spawning Xeno.
The entire roster of enemies consists of: Flying Turrets, Green Slime that Drips from the Ceiling, Xeno that Hangs from the Ceiling and Lobs Grenades, Roaches that are Super Easy to Kill, Leaping Xenos, and Little Blobs that Move from Floor to Ceiling and are Super Easy to Kill.
The sentry turrets frequently drop coffee mugs or something that gives you health, so it's always a good idea to kill those.
Leaping Xenos are really annoying. Unless you have an easy opening to kill them (like if they jump the wrong direction because they spawned behind you), just run away from them.
The NES version of the game only has like 6-8 levels. They keep repeating. Forever. And they are never accompanied by music.
It's an arcade-style high score game, but the game doesn't even temporarily store the high scores.
And... the game seemed hard at first, but I got used to it. I played about 8 levels, had about 2000 HP (more than you start with), and came to the realization that I was never going to die. I figured my options were to play forever or quit now, so I chose the latter option, opting to intentionally kill myself off to see if there's a scoreboard. There's not.

So, there's my first experience of that night. Share your recent experiences with horrible games. If you have none, make some experiences. Play something you know is terrible. For the lulz.

My friend and I recently decided to tackle an NES game that's been on my Backlog of unbeaten games for years now. Jaws. Pretty bad, it is. So monotonous, too. The gameplay involves going right for a while and then going left, there being two ports: one to the east and one to the west. You automatically buy an item or power upgrade with the shells you get from random encounters. Sometimes you will encounter Jaws. Hopefully you encounter him in deep water; if you face him in shallow water, you're as good as shark bait. You have one hit point. Death results in a loss of a lot of shells and a power upgrade, while a game over sends you hastily to the title screen. The upgrades help your endless supply of shots to become progressively stronger. Apparently they go up to ten, but four was enough for us to beat Jaws. After you fight him, you are put in this ridiculous first-person mode, where you face the sea, and Jaws, who will come at you, but do nothing in particular (as far as we could tell). You have to wait 'til he's right in front of you, press A to use a strobe (of which you have three, unless you buy more. Use them all and it's back to the overworld, where you have to fight Jaws' first form again) and then Jaws will stick up and spin around in a quick circle, where you have to again press A at the proper moment, which is when his white chest is facing you. Time it right, and that's the end of the game. Oh yeah, and apparently you can use a submarine but we never bothered with it. There are also "Bonus" games similar to those in shooters like Gradius, where instead of aliens flying above you, jellyfish in different formations float quickly below you, allowing you to drop bullets on them, though you have no control of your movement; you move left and right, going each direction until you go off screen, then reappearing a moment later. We were most thankfully successful in the end. If you know what you are doing, the game can be easily completed in about twenty minutes, which was about our final time. While I wouldn't exactly call it horrible, it is by no means one of the NES gems, and it's simplicity and lack of charm makes it hardly worth playing again.

Aladdin for the original Game Boy. I went ahead and smash it on cement.

I actually like Xenophobe... on the Atari 7800.

I recently tried out Ikari Warriors on the Atari 2600. I like the 7800 version but this version is way different, and not in a good way. The sound is just terrible and the controls really suck, it just makes this version way too difficult.

And apparently somebody must of added land mines or something to the 2600 version because my tank keeps exploding when it comes into contact with just about anything. I'm pretty sure this didn't happen in the 7800 version.

Overall, it's just a really bad port of an otherwise fine game. They could have done a lot better with this version, even with the limitations of the Atari 2600.

I only buy games I know I'm going to love _{most of the time} so I haven't really played any HORRIBLE games lately. The worst I'd say I've played would be Xevious, but when I say worst I mean worst out of good games; I still like the game a lot. It's just that I keep dying because all the bullets are practically invisible.

I've been playing Alleyway on the 3DS VC. I can't help wondering how Nintendo took a winning formula of Arkanoid-style bat and ball game and made it so tedious that you would have to put match sticks in your eye sockets if you tried to play through it in one session. There are no power-ups, no music, highly repetitive gameplay. Seriously, I think this game could cure insomnia for some people.

Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero
DEAR GOD, WHY WAS THIS GAME MADE?

It has horrible cutscenes, tons of glitches, annoying gameplay, and the music is even worse!I can't believe I digged this thing outta my closet.

Also, my best friend brought over Extreme Pinball, and he wanted to show it to me.
Only for the both of us to laugh at how ridiculously long the load times are. (we timed it, over 35 seconds XD )

Since you mention Ikari Warriors, I remembered that I happen to have Ikari Warriors II on the NES.
I'll give it a go when I have some spare time, that's another game that I haven't devoted any time to.

@TeeJay: Back when I was 16, I went to FuncoLand all the time and just collected NES games, since most of them cost somewhere between 9 cents and $1.99. So I ended up with a lot of terrible games
Even still, sometimes I accidentally purchase terrible games, like Ninja Gaiden on Virtual Console Arcade (I didn't realize it wasn't the NES version until it was too late).

Good reviews, guys, I'm glad this thread is getting some attention. Bad games need their time in the spotlight too!
_{Not too much time though}

The Terminator on a friends Game Gear; what a incredible difficult but short game

I believe the last one was Sailor Moon for the Game Gear. If it weren't for her high kicks I wouldn't have even touched it, let alone played it for an hour straight. It had finicky controls, bland level design, and a lot of other problems I can't quite remember. It still had its strong points here and there, such as the neat power-up system, but it wasn't really worth playing too much.

That was a long time ago, though. The worst game I've played as of late was Super Mario Land. It had finicky hit detection, sloppy controls, blurred visuals, fireballs that don't really work like they're supposed to and a few other problems I can't quite remember. It was still fun, just really poorly made, especially for a Mario game.

Well, I just rented Sonic and the Secret Rings (to make fun of it), and I'm about to play it, soo.....
I POSTED BEFORE I DID IT

The Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time 3D.

It's not bad but me and my friend played Guevarra, the Famicom version of Guerilla War. And all we could think of is... man, if him and Castro really took over Cuba by running around with flame throwers and missile launchers with unlimited ammo, he wouldn't have much of an island left to dictate.
So, it's only really horrible in that it makes light of a serious situation.

I don't really play bad games... I think I should start to

Any recommendations?

Link: The Faces of Evil for the CDi

You can thank me later

Okay, okay. Recommend me a game that WONT make me throw up.

fable 3 anyone?

What do you have at your disposal?
Any game by LJN is guaranteed to be awful, so you could try that.

Just trying to give him a jumping off point.
I should say LJN games are guaranteed to be somewhere between terrible and mediocre, with most of them being terrible.
I think I only have 3 LJN games for the NES, and I've only played one of them.

And that was WWF Wrestlemania Challenge. I'm not sure why I was so easily riled, but when I played it (about 12 years ago, maybe?) I got so frustrated I put a big crack on the top of my NES.
_{Warning: slamming your fist into a gaming console is not a very good idea. You should take the game out first, then slam your fist into the game.}