Topic: Your works of literature

It's about 2 AM in the morning, which gets me in a literaturey mood. Heaven knows why. Anyways, this thread is to discuss and share works of literature you may be working on, whether it's a book that you want others' opinion on before sending it to a publisher, or a school report that you want to run by the N-lifers to make sure has proper grammar and spelling. Be warned, as some posts may be very long. Also, please no direct critiscism, you can comment on another's work and say what needs to be improved, but directly saying someone's writing is terrible is rude. I'm working on a fiction story of Lady Gaga for my English teacher, here's the rough draft:

Alex was sitting alone in a cell in the San Francisco City Police Department. To think, this had all started when he found a ticket lying in the street. A ticket to see Lady Gaga in concert. He sat there, staring at the metal toilet in the cell, wondering how long he could hold it. Given the circumstances, it was pretty obvious that he was depressed. What was Alex depressed about? The fact that he was in jail? Or was it the fact that he was being charged with destruction of property and breaking and entering? Maybe it was because Lady Gaga has filed a restraining order against him. he's not allowed to come within 500 feet of her. Harsh. Any of those answers would work. I guess he is just another crazed fan. No, he isn't that crazed...was he? Well, he is talking to myself, so I guess that's a sign. Alex thought back to what all happened that day. The young boy woke up on a Friday morning, feeling groggy. He could hear the light pitterpat of rain outside the window. He opened the curtains to see a dark sky, a mix of grey and black. I getting dressed, brushing his teeth, and going through all the other monotonous daily morning activities, he shuffled his way to school. On the sidewalk, he tripped over a stone that jutted out at an odd angle.
Annoyed, Alex got up, but then he noticed a piece of paper out of the corner of his eye lying in the street. Ignoring it, he moved on, watching where he stepped. He kept walking, but his mind was distracted, thinking about that single piece of paper. His mind got the best of him and he sprinted back to where he saw it. He found it in a patch of grass, probably blown by the wind. He picked it up and gasped. It was a ticket to see the Lady Gaga concert! Everyone at school was talking about it. The first music concert to happen near our town in 10 years. And it was tonight. The rest of the day went by in a blur. That night, he went. Alex stepped through the front doors after handing his ticket to the ticket guy (What are those guys called? D:). Inside it's a madhouse, people running around screaming, some with joy, some with excitement, one man wearing pink overalls and a toupee of blue and green yarn screaming with fear. He take his seat as Lady Gaga comes on stage.
Everybody is cheering as she starts singing Poker Face. But Alex can't seem to enjoy the concert. Something at the back of his brain is tempting him with something. An idea. What other chance would there be to get a Lady Gaga souvenir? And not the kind that you buy from a stand outside. He slipped through the back doors and made his way to the side of the building. What made him stop at that area is a single bush. But the thing about that bush is that it's alone. He goes up to the bush and touches it. Plastic. But life-like. He shoved it out of the way and behold, there's a window. He looked through and saw a break room. Lady Gaga's break room! He could tell by the raw meat dress hanging on the clothes rack. Alex grabbed the crowbar that was in his back pocket (don't ask) and opened the window.
Alex slips in all ninja-like and surveys his surroundings. He decided that taking one souvenir would be enough, and it should have sentimental value, not be something that is specifically valuable. He picked a solid gold microphone studded with four rows of diamonds and embedded with emeralds spelling out the name "Gaga". What? He did say specifically. Unfortunately, the microphone was rigged to a security system that alerted the guards. They broke open the door to the room. He ran to the window, but tripped on a German hamster cage. The microphone flies out of his grasp and smashes against the wall. All the gems pop out and fall to the floor, scattering. They all stared at it in shock until the police came, then promptly arrested Alex. "So, that's how I ended up here." Alex says to himself. The cell door opens and a gruff voice tells him to step out. It's court time.

So, what do you think?

The only thing I was really going to suggest was to add paragraph breaks to make it easier to read, but you already took care of that

I like the pseudo-stream-of-conscious writing style that you've got going here. It's an interesting read.

Also, as a bit of advice for anyone who is interested in doing a little bit of self-editing, read your work out loud to yourself. It might sound odd, and it can be a little embarrassing at first, but reading your work out loud can really help you catch your own mistakes.

Yes, Besen is correct.

CoS, I'm afraid Nintendo Life is not the place for this kind of thing. You're more than welcome to post your writing to a blog or journal of your own and put a link to said blog into your signature — that way, not only may any interested parties visit at their leisure, you'll also have full control over whether or not people leave critical comments when you are specifically asking them not to do so. :3