Topic: There's something really wrong with me, I don't know what to do

For several years now I have been dealing with it and I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it. It's literally killing me!
I get so extremely jealous at other people who don't have this problem. I was watching the show Cops yesterday and there were a lot of Americans who got arrested and it made me really sad. "Why do they do crimminality and get sent to jail? Now they won't be able to enjoy the American Club Nintendo anymore when they go to jail."
I mean, if you live in a country that has Club Nintendo, why would you do anything to go to jail then? Cause then the fact that you live in a Club Nintendo country is totally irrelevant!
Every time I watch videos on YouTube of people living in the UK I also get jealous because I look at all these people and each of them can have a Club Nintendo account and they can all submit their home address to Nintendo and have Nintendo send them lots of exclusive Nintendo items.
I get so extremely jealous of this! And it's people in other European countries that has Club Nintendo that I get jealous of as well. I even get dreams of having a Club Nintendo account and I get so extremely happy in my dream. Then I wake up and I literally feel like crying because the world is so unfair!

I've gotta say this method of trolling is among the strangest I've encountered. At least your punctuation's not bad.

So your country doesn't have a Club Nintendo. Get over it already, it's not the end of the world.

And how exactly am I supposed to get over it!?

(it has to be a joke. No one seriously feels that strongly about useless Club Nintendo in so many random situations....please ignore sir Trollski Von Annoyingheim)

Sorry but I'm awarding this the WTF Award 2009. Nothing else has come close. Might as well lock this one up now. You're award is in the mail. Thank you for participating.