I thought I'd better post this before it disappears forever.
When I was writing about Art Academy: Second Semester, I was (for whatever reason) inspired to begin the review a little differently. For obvious reasons (length certainly being one of them), this entire intro had to go. A tragic, tragic loss, as it would have enriched the life of each and every reader.
If I ended up using it I would have been sure to squeeze in references to more of the staff, but the first draft is the only draft so...oh well. The review proper would have picked up right after this. I hope you enjoy.
It's Monday morning. A day like any other day. The alarm clock rings. It's time to shower, to dress, to make breakfast. Every Monday, we report for our reviewing assignments at Nintendo Life Towers, lining up outside Dazza's office. The man sits inside. Plotting.
I’m the second one to arrive, though the rest show up before long. Corbie beats me there, arriving, as he always does, some time between 6:59 and 7:01. I wish I understood his fascination with that particular time of day.
The door to Dazza’s office is closed, and his twin goons (Thomas and Bowskill) guard the door with crossed arms and “try me” scowls. The sound of maniacal cackling echoes from inside; this is never a reassuring sign. We lowly reviewers glance at each other, nervous. Who would it be this week?
We remember too well the scene when Sean Aaron was dragged away by Dazza's henchmen, screaming and weeping, to review Karate Phants. We remember the way Spencer McIlvaine developed a serious tic and was unable to communicate intelligibly for a full month after prolonged exposure to Sexy Poker. And rumors circulate like ghost stories about a man named Alex Knox, who stepped into a room with Hockey Allstar Shootout...and never stepped out.
We tend to arrive promptly, these days. ("Last one in gets The Incredible Maze" being a common taunt among us.) In time, I am summoned into Dazza's office. We are not allowed to look directly at him, nor at his solid gold furniture. I hold out my hand, head bowed respectfully, to receive my assignment. Initially, I am glad, because this particular title should be quite good. But my excitement fades when I realize that I've already reviewed it two weeks ago.
"Then you will review it again!" he bellows evilly, screwing a jewel-encrusted monocle into place. "They released it twice, so you must review it twice! And then a third time, and a fourth time, and so on until the end of time itself!" I am then beaten and tossed into a dumpster for speaking out of turn.
BEST THREAD EVER future of NL >:3
[16:43] James: I should learn these site rules more clearly
[16:44] LztheBlehBird: James doesn't know the rules? For shame!!!
Bravo CB, I commend you on being brave enough to speak out about the behind the scene's tyranny in NL towers, although I fear a little for the backlash you may receive.
This should definitely be made into a weekly comic strip
That....that was beautiful, Chicken. Let me wipe away the tears...of laughter.
Chicken+Brutus wrote:
Corbie beats me there, arriving, as he always does, some time between 6:59 and 7:01. I wish I understood his fascination with that particular time of day.
Absolutely brilliant.
Lieutenant Commander of the Lesbian Love Brigade
There can only be one, like in that foreign movie where there could only be one, and in the end there is only one dude left, because that was the point.
@feenie: lol, that was subtle indeed; i didn't catch that when i read it. very nice. :3
BEST THREAD EVER future of NL >:3
[16:43] James: I should learn these site rules more clearly
[16:44] LztheBlehBird: James doesn't know the rules? For shame!!!
I commend you on being brave enough to speak out about the behind the scene's tyranny in NL towers, although I fear a little for the backlash you may receive.
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