Granted, but it's large, brown, and unappetising.

I wish that NONE of the buttons on the DS broke.

Granted, Now the screens are broken.
I wish I had a parrot capable of speaking and understanding perfect english.

Granted, but it refuses to be in the same room as you, let alone speak to you.

I wish the DS was indestructible.

Granted, Someone steals your DS.
I wish for a nuclear warhead.

Granted, it is incapable of blowing up anything except Nintendo's HQ.

I wish that Nintendo's HQ had a giant Nuclear Warhead stopping barrier around it.

Granted, but a random suicide bomber with non-nuclear explosives sneaks in and kills both Miamoto and Iwata, along with whomever was was in the room at the time. Also, the only existing prototypes and data on the next Nintendo system that was going to crush the competition once and for all were lost in the blast (overkill FTW!).

I wish it was easier to get by on fewer hours of sleep per 24-hour period.

Granted. You only need 2 hours of sleep to survive a 24-hour day. However the length of time in a day has been extended to 98 hours.
I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you can really only sort of hover a few feet off the ground and go a maximum of two miles per hour.

I wish Microsoft had never existed.

@ FATEM: Granted, but only for one second at a time: you must then gather a WING powerup, that of which there are only two in existence, and that's a finite number.

@StuffGamer: Granted, but in turn this means that there are no computers in existence, which means you couldn't possibly write that post, leading into a horrible paradox that blows up the universe.

I wish that I could yell at shovelware makers and force them to tell me what they were thinking when they released their crappy game.

Granted, but you'll never be satisfied with their answers and they won't actually stop MAKING the games as a result of the interaction (actually, that probably WOULD happen).

I wish people would never again wind up posting in the same minute and answering the same wish twice.

EDIT: Off topic towards Bobpie: You DO know that Microsoft didn't invent the computer, right? Just crappy computer software and chronically overheated game consoles. Any dang way, I'm posting this from my PS3, which Microsoft had absolutely NOTHING to do with, so there!

Granted. Now everyone will answer the same wish three times

I wish people would stop freaking out over small details

Granted, now we freak out over the absolutely EVERYTHING else!

I wish that people weren't so darned judgemental all the time.

Granted, but now everyone is so tolerant all serial rapists and murderous psychotics are given a hundred dollars and a hug.
I wish my milkshake brought all the boys to the yard.

Granted, but they're all the aforementioned serial rapists and murderous psychotics.

I wish I had a real working Phaser.

Granted but it's only effective against inanimate objects.
I wish I could travel through time.

Granted, but only in a linear forwards fashion, AKA the normal passing of time.

I wish I had the power to turn stupid people into inanimate objects.

Granted, You turn into an inanimate object.
I wish someone hadn't already made that joke earlier in the thread.

...Shoulda seen THAT one coming. No clue how to grant that wish, either.

I wish I wasn't a chronic insomniac.

Machu fills Stuffy full of Barbiturates so as to induce a coma. _{there ya go fella, sleeeeeeeep}

I wish I could travel through space and explore it's many wonders.

@Machu Granted. But on your journeys, you encounter a black hole that warps you into another dimension where your wish was never granted and you're a dirt-poor beggar who lives on the street.

I wish I didn't have so much unfinished games.