Granted, but you have to wait until news of it arrives.

I wish to grant wishes.

Granted. You spontaneously combusted in the process and died

I wish the new Zelda game will destroy any timeline theories >:3

Granted, but you'll be confused in the end process.

I wish lz would make a rhyme about goodness.

Granted. But the only reason it rhymes is because every sentence ends in bleh.

I wish I had more chocolate. _{eaten it all ;'(}

granted, but Reala made these, so watch out for his special fillings...

i wish i didn't have to bathe the dog D:
_{fixed my post, wrecked the thread. all in a day's work :3}

Granted. You just have to put up with a smelly dog.

I wish we hadn't just posted at the same time and that we both had chocolate. _{ok, well I'm sharing my 'special' chocolates with tbd}

_{also, im confused, lol ;D}

Granted, but then your computer's explode and a doggie dropped the chocolate.

No wish!
I wish everyone a happy Valentine's Day! (Hey, it's a wish, right?)

@Destroyer

Granted, but your Valentine's Day sucked.

I wish I could fly on a magic carpet

Granted but you dont fly it. It flys you D:

I wish Dragon would finally kill lz ..... Who would want to mess this wish up D:

Granted, but dragon and lz hug and make up in the end.

I wish I knew what being a moderator was like.

Granted.
You go around and look at topics, and look and look. That is your only job. You only look at them, and occasionally make a post, but you are forced to do just that. Should someone make an innocent post and you delete it or lock the topic, you will lose your mod status. Apart from that, you get the millions of people who ask to be a mod, even if you aren't an admin with said priveledge.

I wish I had a second monitor.

Granted, but then you're banned for hacking into a mod's account.

I wish that I didn't have to go to school.

Granted, you now are home schooled. YAY!!

_{I wish Mm would cool it with the tongue sticking out emoticon.}

Granted, but then he does the devil emote a lot.

I wish I ruled Rhode Island.

Off-topic: Mickeymac with a devil emoticon? That's even worse.
Granted, you now have no time to have fun outside and have to fulfill your responsibility as ruler.

I wish to dispose of asteroids in space.

We have a devil emote?

@Xkhoaz

Granted, but you had to deal with Peter from Family Guy, and clean up his frequent messes, plunging your state into massive debt and forcing you to get a bailout from the Government.

@Starboy

Granted, you dispose of the asteroid in your belly!

I wish I wish I was a fish

granted, but I eat you :
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I wish Tingles Toilet Training was real

Granted, but it is not.

I wish to find every single item in Super Metroid.

Granted. It takes place in your bathroom 24/7.

I wish the new Zelda Wii's preorder bonus is Tingle Soap