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Topic: I'm bored.Tell me a joke please.

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OldBoy

1. Posted:

Anyone got any good ones.It's Monday and I'm bored. Here's one for you guys.

Look I was raised a catholic and when I was a little boy the thing i didn't like about church was all the
sitting down,standing up,kneeling
sitting down,standing up,kneeling
sitting down,standing up,kneeling

I just wished the preist would've picked a postion and f*****d me!!!!!!!!!!

I did post this is the religious views thread but i think thats died although Chicken B + Cowlaunch seemed to like it. :-)

Edited on by OldBoy

What's this bit for again?

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Dezner

2. Posted:

Bad Joke # 34685:

Q: What's black and white with red all over?
A: A zebra with diaper rash!
Eyepatch guy from Harvey Birdman: "Ha! HA!"

o_O

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JohnnyB

3. Posted:

At the age of six I was left an orphan. What kind of idiot gives an orphan to a six year-old?

"If I were you, I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you."

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JohnnyB

4. Posted:

First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humour my plumber has... _

"If I were you, I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you."

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Chrono_Cross

5. Posted:

JohnnyB wrote:

At the age of six I was left an orphan. What kind of idiot gives an orphan to a six year-old?

...I don`t get it?

Just for you.
"I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear." - Freddie Mercury

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Dezner

6. Posted:

xD

If she's old enough to be seven, she's old enough to be eight!

slaps knee

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Cryptonic

7. Posted:

.....(doesnt laugh)....

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Old_School

8. Posted:

Just remember to relax everyone, it's only life, none of us make it out alive!

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Bulma: We are going to have a penthouse sweet...and he'll drive a corvet...and we will make love every single...
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Bulma: KILL IT WITH FIRE!

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pixelman

9. Posted:

JohnnyB wrote:

At the age of six I was left an orphan. What kind of idiot gives an orphan to a six year-old?

LOL nice one. :)

And I hope everyone realizes this thread is just for that jokes competition nintendolife is holding.

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Modern_Legend

10. Posted:

JohnnyB wrote:

First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humour my plumber has... _

Don't see how no one realizes this is the funniest joke here lol very nicely done

PSN ID: MixedMajik
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theblackdragon

11. Posted:

Chrono+Cross wrote:

JohnnyB wrote:

At the age of six I was left an orphan. What kind of idiot gives an orphan to a six year-old?

...I don`t get it?

'i was left an orphan' can be read two ways:
(a) his parents died (and he was left an orphan)
(b) someone literally left him an orphan (out on his doorstep, perhaps)

BEST THREAD EVER
future of NL >:3
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[16:44] LztheBlehBird: James doesn't know the rules? For shame!!!
[16:44] Vintage: We have rules?
[16:44] Reala: don't expose the staff to sunlight, don't get them wet and don't feed them after midnight

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Modern_Legend

12. Posted:

@theblackdragon once again you've come to the rescue :)

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theblackdragon

13. Posted:

@DaDun: i thought that joke was pretty funny myself :3

BEST THREAD EVER
future of NL >:3
[16:43] James: I should learn these site rules more clearly
[16:44] LztheBlehBird: James doesn't know the rules? For shame!!!
[16:44] Vintage: We have rules?
[16:44] Reala: don't expose the staff to sunlight, don't get them wet and don't feed them after midnight

3DS Friend Code: 3136-6802-7042 | Nintendo Network ID: gentlemen_cat | Twitter: theblackdragon

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AnneMarie

14. Posted:

Dezner wrote:

Bad Joke # 34685:

Q: What's black and white with red all over?
A: A zebra with diaper rash!
Eyepatch guy from Harvey Birdman: "Ha! HA!"

o_O

"Eyepatch Guy's" Name Is Phil Ken Sebben btw.... "Ha Ha cookies on dowels"

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wanderlustwarrior

15. Posted:

JohnnyB: those are some pretty good ones

In line with the site, I present some knock knock jokes. (though you'd have to be in person to do it well)

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Interrupting Cow

Interrupti

MOOOOOO!

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Interrupting sheep

Interrup

BAAAAA!

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Interrupting falcon

Interrupting falcon...

PAWNCH!!!!! (and then you punch (or otherwise hit) whoever you're telling the joke to)

I use the same username on TVTropes and youtube. look me up!

My virginity is one thing, but I can't let the pedophiles have my Wii FriendCode®

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wanderlustwarrior

16. Posted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac

RIP, George Carlin

I use the same username on TVTropes and youtube. look me up!

My virginity is one thing, but I can't let the pedophiles have my Wii FriendCode®

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Kim_Jong-Il

17. Posted:

"Pass the boob please." :D
But anyway, I know a great one.
A girl walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. So the bartender gives it to her.

Kim_Jong-Il

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malpon

18. Posted:

how many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? It depends if it's on or not.
Whats the diference between a brunette and the garbage? at least the garbage gets taken out once a week.
Why is it better to date an anerexic then a belemic? With A belemic you still have to buy the meal.

This lesbian bar doesent have a fire exit!

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Tails

19. Posted:

(Mine will be cute.) A Guy named Barney Buildrick is a school bus driver & he drives a special bus there are sesame street characters on it. (ex. Bert & Ernie Elmo Big Bird.) On his first stop he picks up these twin girls there both Fat & named Pattie (they get on the bus.) 2nd stop he comes up to this kid named Ross he says "Hi I'm Ross & I'm Special." (he gets on) 3rd stop he picks up A Kid named Lester he says "Hi I'm lester I'm special." (& he gets on) So as Barney drives them to school he looks in the mirror seeing lester with his shoes & socks off. Barney asks "What are you doing?" Lester says "I'm looking for bunyons." So he takes them to school takes them home comes home & his wife asks him how his day was He says "Well I Had Two Large Patties Special Ross Lester Picking Bunyons on A Sesame Street Bus." XD!!!!

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Kim_Jong-Il

20. Posted:

Tails86 wrote:

(Mine will be cute.) A Guy named Barney Buildrick is a school bus driver & he drives a special bus there are sesame street characters on it. (ex. Bert & Ernie Elmo Big Bird.) On his first stop he picks up these twin girls there both Fat & named Pattie (they get on the bus.) 2nd stop he comes up to this kid named Ross he says "Hi I'm Ross & I'm Special." (he gets on) 3rd stop he picks up A Kid named Lester he says "Hi I'm lester I'm special." (& he gets on) So as Barney drives them to school he looks in the mirror seeing lester with his shoes & socks off. Barney asks "What are you doing?" Lester says "I'm looking for bunyons." So he takes them to school takes them home comes home & his wife asks him how his day was He says "Well I Had Two Large Patties Special Ross Lester Picking Bunyons on A Sesame Street Bus." XD!!!!

Lol wut?
Nice avatar BTW OP. :D

Edited on by Kim_Jong-Il

Kim_Jong-Il