Topic: I'm bored.Tell me a joke please.

Anyone got any good ones.It's Monday and I'm bored. Here's one for you guys.

Look I was raised a catholic and when I was a little boy the thing i didn't like about church was all the
sitting down,standing up,kneeling
sitting down,standing up,kneeling
sitting down,standing up,kneeling

I just wished the preist would've picked a postion and f*****d me!!!!!!!!!!

I did post this is the religious views thread but i think thats died although Chicken B + Cowlaunch seemed to like it.

Bad Joke # 34685:

Q: What's black and white with red all over?
A: A zebra with diaper rash!
Eyepatch guy from Harvey Birdman: "Ha! HA!"

o_O

At the age of six I was left an orphan. What kind of idiot gives an orphan to a six year-old?

First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humour my plumber has... ^_

...I don`t get it?

xD

If she's old enough to be seven, she's old enough to be eight!

slaps knee

.....(doesnt laugh)....

Just remember to relax everyone, it's only life, none of us make it out alive!

LOL nice one.

And I hope everyone realizes this thread is just for that jokes competition nintendolife is holding.

Don't see how no one realizes this is the funniest joke here lol very nicely done

'i was left an orphan' can be read two ways:
(a) his parents died (and he was left an orphan)
(b) someone literally left him an orphan (out on his doorstep, perhaps)

@theblackdragon once again you've come to the rescue

@DaDun: i thought that joke was pretty funny myself :3

"Eyepatch Guy's" Name Is Phil Ken Sebben btw.... "Ha Ha cookies on dowels"

JohnnyB: those are some pretty good ones

In line with the site, I present some knock knock jokes. (though you'd have to be in person to do it well)

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Interrupting Cow

Interrupti

MOOOOOO!

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Interrupting sheep

Interrup

BAAAAA!

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Interrupting falcon

Interrupting falcon...

PAWNCH!!!!! (and then you punch (or otherwise hit) whoever you're telling the joke to)

RIP, George Carlin

"Pass the boob please."
But anyway, I know a great one.
A girl walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. So the bartender gives it to her.

how many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? It depends if it's on or not.
Whats the diference between a brunette and the garbage? at least the garbage gets taken out once a week.
Why is it better to date an anerexic then a belemic? With A belemic you still have to buy the meal.

(Mine will be cute.) A Guy named Barney Buildrick is a school bus driver & he drives a special bus there are sesame street characters on it. (ex. Bert & Ernie Elmo Big Bird.) On his first stop he picks up these twin girls there both Fat & named Pattie (they get on the bus.) 2nd stop he comes up to this kid named Ross he says "Hi I'm Ross & I'm Special." (he gets on) 3rd stop he picks up A Kid named Lester he says "Hi I'm lester I'm special." (& he gets on) So as Barney drives them to school he looks in the mirror seeing lester with his shoes & socks off. Barney asks "What are you doing?" Lester says "I'm looking for bunyons." So he takes them to school takes them home comes home & his wife asks him how his day was He says "Well I Had Two Large Patties Special Ross Lester Picking Bunyons on A Sesame Street Bus." XD!!!!

Lol wut?
Nice avatar BTW OP.