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Topic: Hillarious Article: Princess Peach: The Worst Woman In Videogames (must read)

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Kid_A

1. Posted:

http://www.gamespy.com/articles/100/1005645p1.html

This is one of the funniest things I've read in awhile.
Here's a funny quote from the article:
"Here's an example of what Peach does as head of state.

During the financial crisis of the '80s, a couple Toad economic advisers came to Peach and said, "We've got a problem. Stocks aren't doing well. We need a way to spread out the money so it doesn't all disappear at once."

After concentrating as hard as she could, she replied, "Hehe! Silly, if you want to spread out our money, why not just brick up coins in walls throughout the kingdom? Someone get me a wine cooler! Spring Break at Delfino Island! Wooooo!"

She put all the country's money into brick boxes.

Whenever Mario or Toad or the other five people living in the Mushroom Kingdom need buy something, they actually need to break their skulls on baked clay in order to get the scratch. What kind of hatred does she have for her people to demand they suffer incredible brain damage just to get enough money to buy baby formula?"

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JustYourAverageBleh

2. Posted:

You Made My Day :) Kid_A

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bboy2970

3. Posted:

Yeah, I read that a few hours ago. Very funny stuff, I actually laughed out loud a few times which is something I rarely do with reading material. Highly recomended!

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Kid_A

4. Posted:

JustYourAverageBleh wrote:

You Made My Day :) Kid_A

Hey, it rhymes!

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JustYourAverageBleh

5. Posted:

Kid_A wrote:

JustYourAverageBleh wrote:

You Made My Day :) Kid_A

Hey, it rhymes!

Oh Yeah!
lolz

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Stuffgamer1

6. Posted:

Oh, Princess Peach...such a ditz! Is Zelda really all THAT much better, though? At least as far as getting kidnapped goes, she's just as capable of self-defense as Peach is! But when has she taken advantage of her abilities? Only in OoT, where she managed to avoid Ganondor's efforts to capture her for seven years before finally being caught and encased in something that presumably nullified her powers. Only thing she's got going for her is that she actually isn't as stupid as Peach overall.

Oh, and an exception must be made for Zelda, specifically for the Wind Waker version where she's been living as Tetra and actually has spunk. :P

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Philip_J_Reed

7. Posted:

Tetra is my favorite incarnation of Zelda, hands down. I thought she was such an awesome character, and she brought a lot to the game world.

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pixelman

8. Posted:

Yeah, Tetra was awesome. I don't really like the other versions of Zelda.

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Kid_A

9. Posted:

I really like Tetra. She actually had a personality and I'll be honest--I had no idea that she was going to turn into Zelda later in the game. Call me stupid, but I thought it was going to end up being Link's sister.

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clicketyclick

10. Posted:

Stuffgamer1 wrote:

Oh, Princess Peach...such a ditz! Is Zelda really all THAT much better, though? At least as far as getting kidnapped goes, she's just as capable of self-defense as Peach is! But when has she taken advantage of her abilities? Only in OoT, where she managed to avoid Ganondor's efforts to capture her for seven years before finally being caught and encased in something that presumably nullified her powers.

She also used powerful magic to hold Ganon and organised a sting attack with the Sages, plus transformed herself into Sheik to help Link. And in TP in the final fight with ganondorf she uses her bow and arrow to 'kill' him while you transport her around on your horse. Still though, she's pretty weak. At least she doesn't do a strip show at the end of the game to reward you for saving her like Samus does.

But Peach is beyond weak. I truly dislike her, except in SPM, when she was awesome.

You know what you do when you go-kart with Bowser? You make Detective Stabler cry. Every night he's out there catching perps who force women to do horrible things they don't want -- even sacrificing his marriage to do so -- and you laugh in his face by inviting King Koopa to join you for a friendly game of soccer. You know how you can tell you're an awful role model for little girls?

Soooo true. Bowser tries to rape her and her response is to 'forgive and forget' and carry on with him like it never happened. What kinda message is that, hm? Abusive relationships are a-ok? Stand by your man, even when he is quite literally an abusive monster who tries to take you against your will?

And then there's the Super Princess Peach game, in which Peach is supposed to finally be the heroine and save Mario, but she uses her "emotions" to get by. Is there a biggy-wiggy gappy in ickle Peachy's way? Ickle Peachy bursts into tears!! :'( Are there some meany-weany enemies in the way? Peachy gets a bad case of PMS and gets so angry she catches fire! So apparently Peach is not just dumb as a rock but also hormonal. Or maybe that's unfair. Maybe she's just a manipulative bitch who fake-cries on cue to get what she wants. :)

Edited on by clicketyclick

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