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Topic: Free-Range Jokes, Straight from the Minds of Funny NLers

Posts 1 to 20 of 83

GamerZack87

I didn't see a thread like this, so I thought I'd make one. Post any and all jokes you'd like in this thread, whether they be Nintendo-themed or general-themed, funny or punny, short stories or just simple Q&A jokes, classic favourites or ones you've cooked yourself! I'll kick it off with an oldie and a couple of my own creation:

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No-eye deer!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A. Still no-eye deer!

A mouse stands in a park, happily eating a large chunk of cheese. A cat screeches loudly, leaping out of a bush and heading straight for the mouse! The mouse squeals and turns the other way, tearing off at lightning velocity. After about five minutes of the cat being in hot pursuit, the mouse thinks to itself, "I wonder if I can think of a way to outsmart this cat..." At that point, the mouse turns to face the cat, growls, then barks loudly! "YIKES! Forget this! I'm out of here!" yells the cat, tearing off into the distance. The elephant that was watching the whole scene thinks to itself, "Well, colour my cheeks crimson! All these years I've been scared of nothing more than an innocent little puppy dog!"

Top five books of the day:

1. "The Unbroken Spark: A Cybertronian Love Affair" by Rod E. Moose
2. "nintendogs: Top Tips for Raising a Healthy Puppy" by Terry R. Cross
3. "D&D: The Vale Besieged" by Dreg N. Bourne
4. "Power Rangers Virtual Squadron: Enter the CompGen" by Zorah Donn
5. "Super Mario Bros. 2: The Book of the Live Action Film" by Lodak Rudd

NintendoPurist used Baton Pass!

"Pay me 20 Rupees and I'll talk."
CHINK
"Never forget the comfort of freshly-washed shorts."

Aviator

When is a door not a door?

when it is ajar

hehehehehehehe

QUEEN OF SASS

It's like, I just love a cowboy
You know
I'm just like, I just, I know, it's bad
But I'm just like
Can I just like, hang off the back of your horse
And can you go a little faster?!

HolyMackerel

How many sides does a cave have?

two, inside and outside

hehehehehehehe

HolyMackerel

pikku

what's black and white and red all over?
a penguin with a sunburn
hehehehehehehe

pikku

3DS Friend Code: 1891-1165-2008 | Nintendo Network ID: pikmaniac

Aviator

ive started a trend here.

QUEEN OF SASS

It's like, I just love a cowboy
You know
I'm just like, I just, I know, it's bad
But I'm just like
Can I just like, hang off the back of your horse
And can you go a little faster?!

pikku

Aviator wrote:

ive started a trend here.

no you didn't
hehehehehehehe

pikku

3DS Friend Code: 1891-1165-2008 | Nintendo Network ID: pikmaniac

GamerZack87

Q. How does Fox deal with Peppy's constant bantering about how to do barrel-rolls and going on about his dad?
A. He switches off the com-link!

Q. How does Fox deal with Falco's constant sociopathy and negativity?
A. He switches off the com-link!

Q. How does Fox deal with Slippy's constant squeaky-voiced blabber-talk?
A. He flies up behind Slippy's Arwing, takes aim and...switches off the com-link!

NintendoPurist used U-Turn!

"Pay me 20 Rupees and I'll talk."
CHINK
"Never forget the comfort of freshly-washed shorts."

Reala

This ones from the joke book in Cosmic Spacehead, games better than the joke

Q- what is brown and sticky?
A- a stick

Reala

Bassman_Q

Oh man I have so many dirty jokes but I'd probably be flamed for posting them up.

Oh, and
hehehehehehehe

Bassman_Q

Nintendo Network ID: QwikStix42

Noire

Lieutenant Commander of the Lesbian Love Brigade
There can only be one, like in that foreign movie where there could only be one, and in the end there is only one dude left, because that was the point.

Punny

A man was out grocery shopping the day before Thanksgiving, looking for a turkey dinner. When he reached the counter where the meat was, he noticed the lady behind the counter was holding a nice, plump turkey, just the thing the man needed for the feast. He said to her, "Give me the bird!" She said, "I would, but this there are children in this store!"

hehehehehehehe

Edited on by Punny

I'm back (for the moment)!

GamerZack87

Absolute ROFLARITY, PunnyGuy!

A famous celebrity is standing in an electrical store when a 12-year-old girl runs up to him, screaming, "AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! It's (name deleted for privacy purposes)!!!! I'm your biggest fan!" The cashier says, "We have one of the air-conditioners in stock; however, since it's 7" tall and weighs 650 lb. we'll need to charge an extra $100 for freight." The celebrity says to the girl, "Sorry, little girl, but I have a new biggest fan now!"

Edited on by GamerZack87

"Pay me 20 Rupees and I'll talk."
CHINK
"Never forget the comfort of freshly-washed shorts."

JohnWalrus

I'm sensing a lack of Russian Reversal jokes here.

IN AMERICA, YOU WATCH TELEVISION. IN SOVIET RUSSIA, TELEVISION WATCHES YOU!

"I will destroy everything! I will create a monument to non-existence!"~Kefka Palazzo (FFVI)
Backloggery

Meta-Rift

This is one my friend told me just now:

Okay, so there's a shark and his son, and they're swimming along the Pacific Ocean. Soon they come across a bunch of swimmers, and the father says, "Son, it's time for you to learn to kill and eat humans." So he teaches him how: "First, you raise your dorsal fin above the water. Then you use all of your fins to swim towards them, then bite into them." The son does this, and the two swimmers are dead. The father shark was pleased and said "Great technique, son, you're a natural!" The son then asked why the first step-- raising the dorsal fin above the water-- was necessary. The father said, "Well they don't taste as good with crap in them."

Meta-Rift

Rensch

It's red and round in shape. What is it?
A blue square.

Why does Snoopp Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.

What do a yellow ball and a green ball have in common?
They're both yellow, save for the green one.

Friend code 3DS: 4210-4747-2358

Mabbit

Knock knock
Who's there?
Briunj04!
Briunj04 Who?
(Punnyguy then falls down a stair case and gets hit in the groin by a golf ball)

Heisenberg says "relax!"
The user formerly known as briunj04
PSN=mabbit04/Summoner name(LoL)=briunj04

GamerZack87

Whoa there, briunj04! Let's not go attacking PunnyGuy! Or anyone else for that matter!

Q. How do you tell which end is which on a worm?
A. Cover it in powder and wait till it farts!

Q. How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Just one, but she'll charge you for it!

Plenty more where that came from!

"Pay me 20 Rupees and I'll talk."
CHINK
"Never forget the comfort of freshly-washed shorts."

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