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Topic: Does Anyone have Trouble With Shyness?

Posts 41 to 60 of 81

BleachFan

I'm incredibly shy around my peers. I just feel as though I have nothing to contribute to their conversations. Although, there are plenty of people in my school whom I would rather not interact with, so I guess I'm choose-y about my friends too...

Nevertheless, I work as computer support at my local library, and have to interact with people all the time. I don't have a problem with that, mostly because I know I'll never see them again. So, all's fine in my life in that department.

Ah well, I'll get over my social awkwardness eventually...

I'm working on a game that's coming out soon!
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Moco_Loco

I've always been somewhat reserved and quiet, especially in new and uncomfortable situations. I used to have a huge fear of public speaking in high school, but now I do it every day teaching Spanish to high school students. I tend to get shy and tongue-tied when I'm speaking Spanish to a native speaker, but it starts to disappear as I get comfortable with the person. That's pretty much how I am in general...shy at first, then more talkative as I get more comfortable. I'm a lot more confident and sociable than I used to be, but in unfamiliar situations I still revert for a short time and become very shy.

Moco Loco
If you find yourself spiritually drifting (as I was for far too many years), remember that Jesus can and will walk across the water to reach you and bring you back to shore.

BleachFan

@MocoLoco: Odd...Now that you mention it, I love speaking in front of the class and making them laugh!

I'm working on a game that's coming out soon!
Cipher Trailer

RabidPikachu

It depends on what kind of people I'm around. If they ware anime apparel and are playing ds or dsi at the moment I approach I do just fine. But if they seem stuck up and have the look of a bad attitude I get all freaked out. I don't get along well with snobs.

3DS Friend code 4425-2142-6328

JustYourAverageBleh

I'm really, really shy when interacting with new People. i find it hard to talk to people whom you're not really close with. but i feel comfortable with children. i'm happy when i'm with kids. but i hate people the same age as me. it's hard to talk to them because i think of a topic that we should discuss but i'm too afraid that they might think i'm a freak or something.

Edited on by JustYourAverageBleh

mastersworddude

I have bad social skills, I only talk normally with People I know like my family for close friends, but with new people I always seem to mess up my sentence.
And its really hard for me to talk about something with someone unless I start educating them about games, movies and stuff.

Edited on by mastersworddude

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y2josh

@Terra: Yeah, same here other than the Aspergers.

Once I tried to be sociable with a friend of a friend who was pregnant. She said they were naming the baby Eli, so to be sociable I thought I would crack a joke. "Yeah, and then one day he can make it to the superbowl and not win the superbowl, but then get back to the superbowl again and win" and then I let out an awkward/funny laugh. They just looked at me like there was something wrong with me so I zipped it and slowly drifted off into the darkness.

Like Chicken did, I wish I would have made myself be sociable in high school. I started a slippery slope of alcohol and then drugs, later on, my freshmen year and tuned just about everyone else out that I didn't get drunk or high on the weekends with.

y2josh

Lombax42

Yeah, I have Aspergers, too. Seems to be popping up a lot these days, or maybe I'm just imagining things...

I only went through public school through 5th grade(home schooled the rest of the way), which certainly eased some of the pressures. Still, things were pretty awkward for me until I started going to my church's youth group. It took a while, but the social interaction helped a LOT. Then my first job helped a bit, of course it was just a small seasonal store so it was a great starting point; the manager really liked me, and I learned a lot there.

When I got my current job (about 4-and-a-half years ago), it was tricky at first, but I've been gradually getting better day by day. It certainly helps I have lots of good coworkers, and most of the customers aren't too bad either. It also helps that I seem to meet a lot of weirdos.

I'm still not too good at most social events like parties, but if somebody starts talking video games, I'm usually all over it! What's really strange is when the ADD mixes with the OCD... I want to finish what I'm doing, but I also want to do everything else!

I'm a lifelong gamer who'll play just about anything that sounds good, regardless of reviews. My Backloggery is still a work in progress, but when it's done you'll know what I mean.
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Outrunner

Wow, a lot more people than I expected with the same problem as me.
I'll second the advice a lot of people are giving here. Force yourself into social situations. A lot of the time, when you second guess how others are looking at you, you're wrong. It's like my friend says, people are generally inward-looking. They're probably thinking about how you see them as much as you're thinking how they see you, if that makes sense.
Plus who cares if they don't like you. Be yourself!

"And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins." Matt. 1:21.

SuperPeach

JustYourAverageBleh wrote:

I'm really, really shy when interacting with new People. i find it hard to talk to people whom you're not really close with. but i feel comfortable with children. i'm happy when i'm with kids. but i hate people the same age as me. it's hard to talk to them because i think of a topic that we should discuss but i'm too afraid that they might think i'm a freak or something.

Wow, I'm sort of the opposite. I'm not good at talking to anyone I don't know but I feel even more uncomfortable with kids, I like kids but I don't know what to talk to a kid about. I'm the worst with people my age (probably because from their opinion I'm wierd and I feel extra pressure). I'm the be best with people older than me (unless they're scary or creepy looking).
Tomarrow my boss says I have to reach out to people, say hi, and help answer questions otherwise I'm done for. I hope I survive the day.
/me feels very nervous and stressed out /me is constantly making typos

SuperPeach

Rensch

It really differs in my case. I usually try to win over people I like with humour. If someone doesn't share my, sometimes really strange, sense of humour it's usually not my type of person. I can be the loud funny-acting guy at parties while being terribly shy around a cute girl at the same time.

When it comes to my opinions on things like politics, economics, religion, morality etc. I can be very outspoken, or even pretty radical on some issues, but I will always try to make sure I've got sensible arguments to back those opinions up. However, if I have carefully considered and then decided something or someone is stupid, I will not hold back on saying so. If someone has a way of thinking that is so drastically different from myself, I sometimes tend to avoid debate since it will probably lead to nothing anyway and get me annoyed by the other person's views.

So, yeah, it varies from situation to situation.

Friend code 3DS: 4210-4747-2358

Raylax

I... uh.

...hi.

...I'm too shy to uh. Respond.
To this thread.

...

Forget it, doesn't matter.

Nah, but in all seriousness, yeah I guess I'm pretty shy. But then when you get me talking I don't stop

Raylax

3DS Friend Code: 0173-1400-0117 | Nintendo Network ID: RaylaxKai

NintenFreak

yeah im pretty shy, i only talk to the kids that are my friends. i dont like talking to adults that much ether. i dont really have much of a problem talking to guys i mostly have a problem talking to girls and girls seem to all ways say stuff like "your so quiet" or "you dont talk much" but not in a mean way. i have tryed being me "open" and talk to more people and every month im a little less shy.

Nintenfreak

Sean007s

What is Aspergers??

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HolyMackerel

I'm the opposite of a lot of you lol. I'm not shy at all. I'm good with people I don't know very well - I find it interesting to explore common ground and make new friends. Once we're on pretty familiar terms is when I'm a bit less confident because we're not at that stage of comfort where you can hang out and comfortably not talk. You know what I mean? If there are gaps in the conversation, but you're supposed to be pretty good friends, I find it pretty awkward. Of course that's not a problem with my really good friends. I also find it fun to talk to larger groups or crowds. Of course it's a little nerve-wracking but as long as you know what you're saying then it's no big deal. It's not as personal as speaking to small groups or one-on-one so it's pretty easy.

When I was a teenager I was really shy though. I was constantly worried about people judging me for making mistakes or doing something clumsy. I eventually came to the same realisation some of you have... that we're all human and the other people feel the same way I do. No one judges anyone as harsh as they do themselves. I got a lot more confident when I realised that I do that, and everyone else does too.

I don't have Asperger's or ADD or anything like that, but I do have quite a few friends who have them to varying degrees.

@Sean007s It's a mild type of autism, sort of. People with Asperger's Syndrome have difficulty in social situations and can't "read" the social situation as well as most. They tend to be kind of awkward and might misunderstand others' feelings or intentions. It's also been noted that they have favourite topics of interest that they can talk endlessly about, much to the annoyance of others around them. There's a Wikipedia article on it with more info.

Edited on by HolyMackerel

HolyMackerel

Adam

If you have trouble talking to strangers, it's best to just dive right in. Put yourself in situations where you absolutely must talk or you won't make it.

One way could be through work. Any retail job will force you to talk to people on a regular basis, and you will get better at it gradually. In college I was a writing tutor, which meant that for a few hours a day whether I liked it or not I would be in conversation with people I didn't know, and often they would be the shy ones. Having to discuss essays you're writing is somewhat embarrassing at times and personal, so I would have to really drive the conversation or some of them would clam up.

And speaking of college, don't choose one in or near your home town. Moving away will force you to talk to strangers on a daily basis, and that can be fun.

If you want more short-term goals, go out somewhere on your own. Try making small talk, maybe just an off-hand comment or two, to people in line at a movie or grocery, or to the employees at such places. Anyone that, if you end up saying something embarrassing to or if you're at a loss for words, you can just walk away from without worry of being rude or running into them again.

It helps to be doing something else so that if you are at a loss for words you can continue to hang around without feeling awkward. This could be as simple as having a drink in hand to sip from, depending on the situation.

As you may have gathered by this point, yes, I used to be terribly shy. There are a lot of things you can do to get over this though. I think some degree of shyness will always stick with me, but unless someone is particularly overbearing or somehow makes me nervous, I can generally at least feign interest in most conversations and toss a word or two in before making my escape.

Oh, also, if you happen to live in Eagleland, I recommend the book Overcoming Shyness. You can find it in the Onett library, assuming Ness or the Tenda tribe don't still have it checked out.

Edited on by Adam

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Rensch

Sean007s wrote:

What is Aspergers??

As HolyMackerel said, it is a form of autism. To explain it in a simple way; what most people with autism have is that the part of their brain that allows you to reflect upon how another person feels is underdeveloped. In other words, you can't place yourself in his/her shoes in your head to realise how that person feels and have to learn to carefully observe body language to figure out peoples reactions to things you do or say. If you get the wrong reaction all the time, simply because you can't interact with people as most people do, you turn shy.

The being focused on one certain hobby or topic that gains most of your interest is also an important symptom of most forms of autism. This comes from the fact that many autists recieve all information from all their senses equally. To give an example, a "normal" person can automatically turn off his or her hearing if he or she is focused on reading or watching something. Autists can't do this and recieve sight, hearing, feeling, taste and smell equally intense. As a result, they focus on one certain topic or hobby instead and they give a lot of interest and attention to it, as to relax their brain and avoid getting all crazy and stressed out.

From what I've heard this is basically it, but perhaps I'm not exactly accurate here. I discussed this topic a lot with my mum who did some research on it for her work.

Edited on by Rensch

Friend code 3DS: 4210-4747-2358

jwl

I kinda have the same, but mostly on the phone. Don't what it is, but I really don't like to call people, especially people I don't know, on the phone. Somehow it is not as bad when people call me. Guess is the same going on, with being shy of "approaching" people.

pikku

jwl wrote:

I kinda have the same, but mostly on the phone. Don't what it is, but I really don't like to call people, especially people I don't know, on the phone. Somehow it is not as bad when people call me. Guess is the same going on, with being shy of "approaching" people.

I don't really like talking on the phone either. I guess it's just becauuse you don't now what the other person is thinking cuz you can't see their face

pikku

3DS Friend Code: 1891-1165-2008 | Nintendo Network ID: pikmaniac

sykotek

@jwl: This may be different, but I don't like leaving messages. I end up feeling way more self conscious leaving a message because there's no one else to talk to on the other end. Maybe its that I feel I'll sound stupid or I lose confidence that I can quickly and easily get my point across. I'll even go as far as hanging up and writing a script if I have to leave a message.

In regards to Aspergers, I didn't know what it was either, as I've never heard of anyone having it growing up, so I checked it out on youtube and looked it up on wiki. I'm glad that those with it that are here are able to find a common interest in gaming and as far as I can tell, I wouldn't know from your posts until you've come forward. Thanks for sharing, I feel anywhere else online you'd get negative comments, glad NL isn't one of them!

What is the meaning of life? That's so easy, the answer is TETRIS.

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