1Sean007sTue 29th Sep 2009 As you guys know or may know,i am suicidal. however i am not a damn emo poser. i have slit myself live on youtube to get my message across to my friends to tell them im not a happy guy.There are many reasons for why i feel this way.1)One day i told my dad i would get a house when i get my own job and he started to laugh at me all the way home from school.My dads job is cutting the lawn in a park in town....LMAO.....wow.....anyone can cut a lawn DAD!!! plus he is a huge alchoholic....lol.....how can he laugh at me?.....im the only guy in my class who does not drink or even smoke. Pathetic.2)School. i have a huge hard time finding school difficult. i get distracted in class and even start to mess around myself...only rarely...believe me RARELY that does happen and i do it to fit in with the other guys...which is bad.3)Im more mature than everyone in my class and for this i am the odd one out and for that i get bullied left right and center. Everywhere i go someone hates me. and yes ok not everyone but im telling you now....people i dont even KNOW threaten me and seemingly i have a bad bad rep around my Neighbour hood and for what?....honestly for what? because i love to play games? or i love to stay in and chill with the PS3 or Wii? is that reason why? ID BLOODY GO OUT IF PEOPLE WOULD STOP BULLYING ME!!!!!4)3 years ago i was in a street gang as you would call it. i used to smoke all the time and drink,smash car windows,rob shops etc etc.I may have been dumb but now i realise the error of my ways and i feel that God is probably getting me back for all the bad things i did in the past.Seriously i know other people may not believe me but my life has had so much drama in it,you can literally right a damn book or movie on it.I am fed up with this S*it.why is it people come to me in class and make sexual references like this "oh hey sean do you know what a 69er is????" and yes at the time i did not know and the whole class laughed their ass off it me.Yeah becuase knowing all the sex positions is AWESOME!!!. _Sorry for this guys...im going to school right this second and i keep thinking it will go wrong. i always feel this way. sorry again but if anyone is in the same position or was in the same position can you give me some tips?(Also i cannot fight back....i am almost anorexic....no joke. if you seen my rants on youtube,you would know....)thanks again. Edited on Tue 29th September, 2009 @ 08:22 by Sean007s Playstation Network ID:Sean007s Wii Friend Code:8597 6921 2179 2755. Add me please..Skype:Sean007sCurrently playing:Uncharted 2,Soul Caliber 4,ModernWarfare2,Final Fantasy XIII.Excited for: Fallout New Vegas,Gran Turismo 5,CoD:Black Ops.