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Topic: A Night at The Nimprov !!!

Posts 41 to 60 of 64

AlexSora89

Upon @jhewitt3476's [reckless] suggestion, I bring my radar-evading nasty humor here.

What do you call a game like Portal 3, what with it coming way sooner than expected?
A lousy lover.

I don't quite have lots o' loot, because I'm from the Boot.

http://www.nintendolife.com/super-mario-maker/users/AlexSora89
(Currently seeking Stars.)

3DS Friend Code: 2320-6287-1558 | Nintendo Network ID: AlexSora89

Nemodius

Mario walks into a bar and pulls a tiny grand piano out of his pocket. Then he pulls out a little guy who sits down and begins to play. "Where'd ya get that?" bartender Toad asks. "I have a magic bottle; you rub itta and get a wish," Mario replies. Toad ask if he can and Mario agrees to let Toad try it, then he pulls a grungy old whiskey bottle from his overalls, Toad rubs it, and the room fills up with ducks, flying everywhere. Toad angrily shouts "I didn't wish for a million 'ducks' !!!", Mario looks at Toad... "So, didda you think I wish forra ten-inch pianist ???"

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

Nemodius

Dry Bones walks into a bar, Toad looks at him and asks "What can I get you ???
Dry Bones replies "A beer and a mop !!!"

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

AlexSora89

All these jokes remind me of the Italian Nintendo Official Magazine days. Most issues ended with two columns, namely Mario Magazine and... well, Wario Wagazine. I'm not making this up.

The latter, being the more mean-spirited of the two (obviously), each month gave space to the lamest gaming joke - mostly puns - the readers sent them by mail. Some of it was the stuff of legends.

One began with the premise of Wind Waker's Makar having an Italian name, Macoré - same as his Japanese one - sounding like "ma che ora è?" ("[but] what time is it anyway?"), leading to this.
Link: "Makar! Makar!"
Makar: "Beats me, I forgot my watch!"

I don't quite have lots o' loot, because I'm from the Boot.

http://www.nintendolife.com/super-mario-maker/users/AlexSora89
(Currently seeking Stars.)

3DS Friend Code: 2320-6287-1558 | Nintendo Network ID: AlexSora89

ThanosReXXX

By the gods...

These are absolutely three horror-filled pages of the AB-SO-LUTE worst of the worst jokes I've ever seen in my entire life, and probably ever will. And the limericks are horribly out of sync, and could never be sung to the beat they're supposed to be sung to, so these are f-ing bad as well.

But, having said all that, I can easily stay in line with the badness of it all, by adding a horrible one of my own:

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
You poke him on...

'The console wars are like boobs. Sony and Microsoft fight over which ones look the nicest and Nintendo's are the most fun to play with.'

Nintendo Network ID: ThanosReXX

Nemodius

@ThanosReXXX
They are not supposed to be good jokes, I made this thread to break up the monotony of the wasted articles that no talent hacks have written and 50 people repeating the same things over and over again, come here, take a break and screw around, like this...

Yo mama Soooo ugly, even Scorpion said "GET AWAY FROM HERE !!!"

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

HobbitGamer

Yeah, this is pretty rough, folks.
Almost as bad as the reason Falco doesn't like caffeine.

It makes him too Peppy

#TeamPineapple
#MeatAndGreet

Switch Friend Code: SW-7842-2075-5515 | My Nintendo: HobbitGamr | Nintendo Network ID: HobbitGamr

ThanosReXXX

@jhewitt3476 Right....

Well, still a waste of my time, regardless, and dull jokes, intended or not, can most certainly also represent their own flavor of monotony. I'd take articles written by "no talent hacks" over this, any day of the week, no offense.

Or maybe, it's just that at 48, I'm just too old to enjoy screwing around in this fashion anymore...

On a side note: my slight annoyance with all of this also came from the fact, that some of these bad jokes could actually have been a bit less bad, if they didn't have a Nintendo theme forced upon them. The original jokes are far better in some respects.

'The console wars are like boobs. Sony and Microsoft fight over which ones look the nicest and Nintendo's are the most fun to play with.'

Nintendo Network ID: ThanosReXX

Nemodius

Waluigi's girlfriend Soooo ugly, the two paper bags committed suicide before he put them on her head !!!
Boogerman Soooo ugly, he scared the S**t out of the toilet !!!
Waluigi Sooo dumb, Link walked into a house, said "It's so chilly!", Waluigi grabbed a spoon and ran outside
Bowser Soooo fat, I took a screenshot of him yesterday on my Switch and it's STILL saving !!!
Wario Soooo fugly, hookers pay HIM money to stay away !!!

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

Nemodius

@ThanosReXXX
I said make them videogame related because this is a videogame site

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

GrailUK

Why aren't Tauren allowed to gamble in Thunderbluff?
The steaks are too high.

My new microwave has wifi. I tried to play my lasagne online but I must have had terrible latency. I was waiting 8 minutes for a ping.

I took a break from video games because I suffer from anxiety. I tried to take up origami, but I folded under the pressure.

So I went back to video games and bought Dark Souls. I opened the game case and the cartridge flew out and landed in some fire. I cried.

I never drive faster than I can see. Besides, it's all in the reflexes.

Switch FC: SW-0287-5760-4611

AlexSora89

Two Boos are on their honeymoon. After the second night, one of the groom's friends gives him a call.
"So you did it last night?"
"Did what?"
"You know, the first night of the honeymoon is for..."
"Yeah..."
"... and the second..."
"... for the back door, I know already!"
"And...?"
"Guess what, that's been our only option ever since we made it to our hotel room!"
"Are you serious?!"
"Yup!"
"But... but why, though? Why back door only?"
"YOU try the front door when what you're best at is attacking from behind and your wife becomes shy all of a sudden when you stand in front of her!"

That... was awful. I apologise for your sudden drop in faith in humanity.

I don't quite have lots o' loot, because I'm from the Boot.

http://www.nintendolife.com/super-mario-maker/users/AlexSora89
(Currently seeking Stars.)

3DS Friend Code: 2320-6287-1558 | Nintendo Network ID: AlexSora89

Nemodius

@GrailUK "Folded under the pressure", nice one

@AlexSora89 faith not lost......mainly because I'm praying to God we make some better jokes, LOL

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

GrailUK

Apparently Red Dead Redemption 2 is sooo large, it will take you 100 hours a week to complete it.

I never drive faster than I can see. Besides, it's all in the reflexes.

Switch FC: SW-0287-5760-4611

AlexSora89

@jhewitt3476
We broke the 258th commandment or something.
"Thou shalt not make lame gaming jokes, thou dork"

I don't quite have lots o' loot, because I'm from the Boot.

http://www.nintendolife.com/super-mario-maker/users/AlexSora89
(Currently seeking Stars.)

3DS Friend Code: 2320-6287-1558 | Nintendo Network ID: AlexSora89

ogo79

my mother is so fat she uses cheat codes for wii fit.

the_shpydar wrote:
As @ogo79 said, the SNS-RZ-USA is a prime giveaway that it's not a legit retail cart.
And yes, he is (usually) always right, and he is (almost) the sexiest gamer out there (not counting me) ;)

Nemodius

@ogo79 ouch, nice

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

ogo79

jhewitt3476 wrote:

@ogo79 ouch, nice

nice?
hey buddy if thats what yer into i aint gonna judge you.
just give her a meatloaf.
makes her happy
*edit
just give her meatloafs
ok you guys carry on

Edited on by ogo79

the_shpydar wrote:
As @ogo79 said, the SNS-RZ-USA is a prime giveaway that it's not a legit retail cart.
And yes, he is (usually) always right, and he is (almost) the sexiest gamer out there (not counting me) ;)

Nemodius

if Toad faces Princess Peach and says her hair smells nice.....is that considered "sexual harassment" ???

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

Nemodius

Bowsette is such a skank, the free clinic is named after her.

Luigi is such a big P**sy, even lesbians are attracted to him

"If failure is the greatest teacher, how come we are not the most superior beings in the universe ???"

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