I still have my phat right here on my desk. It definitely feels lighter than the 3DS, though I don't have a scale to weight it.
It's probably just the lower density that's throwing you off, because it's a lot bigger but only a bit heavier, which makes it seem light for its size. Try holding one in each hand without looking at them, and then switch them to opposite hands to see if you can tell which one is actually heavier. The Phat is heavier by 40 gm, which is like the weight of a chocolate bar, so you should be able to notice the difference.
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Topic: What are you buying? the N3DS (regular size) or N3DSXL?
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